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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 07-11-2011, 08:16 AM   #1
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vgonz701 HB User
Ocd?

I have a few problems but I don't know if they are linked to OCD or not.

One problem which has lasted the longest is needing to outline things. For instance, if I write down "MOM" on a piece of paper and the pen skips a little part of the word, i have to continue to go over it, until its perfectly outlined. If i scratch something out on a piece of paper, there can't be spaces in it. If i don't make things perfect, in that sense, then i just feel strange...my mind won't get off of it until I do it.

Another thing that has been haunting me is the fear of death. Almost ever single night before falling asleep, my mind is filled with things that take complete control over me. Example; i think that if i leave the tv on in my childrens room, it will catch on fire. I start planning how i would take them out of the room. I also have an obsession with thinking that there is no point in life-I wonder if there is an afterlife...which haunts me the most. and i cry often wondering what a waste life is, if there is no afterlife.

All of these things take over my being. I cry often...sobbing-thinking about these fantasy things that i'm sure won't happen but my brain convinces me that it will and I become sad.

I have other things which have helped to ruin aspects of my life...i cannot bear the sound of food in peoples mouths. i get extremely angry whenever I hear someone chewing loudly...although i try to talk myself out of caring, i force myself to watch people when they chew, which only makes it worse for me.

I've never really opened up about my problems because most people just think its as easy as not thinking about it anymore. Can anyone relate to my issues?

Thanks

 
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Old 07-11-2011, 03:47 PM   #2
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Eyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB User
Re: Ocd?

Hey, that sounds like an aweful lot for one person to go through on a regular basis. I know it must be absolutely terrible sometimes. You know one of the things people forget about OCD is that its an anxiety disorder. And there are many other anxiety disorders. Commonly, if a person has one, they usually have another. (I'm not a doctor, this is just what my psych passed on to me). For instance, I have OCD and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). It may be a good idea to find a psychiatrist or someone else to talk to so you dont have to walk around with this by yourself everyday. Dont worry, some of the things you mentioned do sound like OCD if not another anxiety/depression related disorder. I feel like it could be helpful for you because they will walk you through what you fit into the most and then they will help you find some tools to get you better. It could be an SSRI (or a higher dose of one) or some sort of behavioural therapy or both. For me, I needed both, but it varies. I know its scary to think about going to someone and telling them all of your anxiety secrets, I was terrified. But its not bad at all. It helps to kind of take the mask off of what's going on with you, so that you see it for what it is I found. Sometimes it just helps to know "hey.. thats my OCD doing its thing again.." You dont get as scared. And you dont deserve to feel this way. I hope you start feeling a little better soon and I'll be thinking of you.
hope that helped.


Quote:
Originally Posted by vgonz701 View Post
I have a few problems but I don't know if they are linked to OCD or not.

One problem which has lasted the longest is needing to outline things. For instance, if I write down "MOM" on a piece of paper and the pen skips a little part of the word, i have to continue to go over it, until its perfectly outlined. If i scratch something out on a piece of paper, there can't be spaces in it. If i don't make things perfect, in that sense, then i just feel strange...my mind won't get off of it until I do it.

Another thing that has been haunting me is the fear of death. Almost ever single night before falling asleep, my mind is filled with things that take complete control over me. Example; i think that if i leave the tv on in my childrens room, it will catch on fire. I start planning how i would take them out of the room. I also have an obsession with thinking that there is no point in life-I wonder if there is an afterlife...which haunts me the most. and i cry often wondering what a waste life is, if there is no afterlife.

All of these things take over my being. I cry often...sobbing-thinking about these fantasy things that i'm sure won't happen but my brain convinces me that it will and I become sad.

I have other things which have helped to ruin aspects of my life...i cannot bear the sound of food in peoples mouths. i get extremely angry whenever I hear someone chewing loudly...although i try to talk myself out of caring, i force myself to watch people when they chew, which only makes it worse for me.

I've never really opened up about my problems because most people just think its as easy as not thinking about it anymore. Can anyone relate to my issues?

Thanks

 
Old 07-12-2011, 08:45 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Miami, FL
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vgonz701 HB User
Re: Ocd?

Thank you for your reply!


I really appreciate your kind words. I'm not really afraid to go to a psychiatrist, i'm just not sure how I feel about being placed on any medication. I have gone to a therapist a few times. I am aware of a lot of things I do, i just wish i knew for a fact that it wouldnt worsen as I got older. My mother takes meds for Bi-polar disorder and depression...thats the last thing I want to end up doing


 
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