Obsessive-compulsive disorder with somatization disorder?
I am 25, single, and my condition has concerned me for many years. More than once, I appealed to neurologists and psychiatrists for help. I myself have also done some researched on my condition. Doctors made some diagnoses, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety-depressive syndrome (with somatization disorder), anankastic personality disorder, and astheno-vegetative syndrome. Sadly, none of the medication that was prescribed to me had the desired effect.
It is hard when the alarm clock rings in the morning. I awake, turn it off, and continue to sleep again. Then, when I get out of bed I feel severe heaviness in my head and neck. During the day, negative intrusive thoughts enter the frontal part of my head regularly, and often my face turns red. Moreover, even my physical condition is difficult: walking, speaking aloud, and even thinking about anything are hard for me. It is easier during the day, but in the morning I speak absolutely nothing aloud. At the other extreme, during the day I am inclined to talk with myself aloud.
A few years ago, EEG and REG tests showed that I had a minor dysfunction of 'di-encephalic' structures and good visual memory. This wasn't surprising, for I am a graphic designer. When my condition is at its worst, it is easier that I lie down on 2 pillows, putting one under my neck and pressing my head against it. This creates resistance to brain vessel spasms. I also close my eyes and begin to block out intrusive thoughts that arise in the frontal part of my brain. Although I feel some pain in this part of the head, after such "over vision resistance" using the pillows, the negative thoughts pass and I feel some relief.
What makes this all more complicated is that my family experienced stormy times in the past. For a few years, my father didn't live with us and now I
live with my younger brother and mentally ill mother who blame me constantly and scream. My parents divorced in 2007. After my mother began to direct her negative and uncontrolled emotions largely at me, my condition became exhausted. Unfortunately, I am still not able to move to a separate apartment. Although it is easier when I travel to friends at least on a few days.
Please help me to understand my condition better. I'm willing to answer any further questions.
Last edited by curiouser2; 11-27-2011 at 12:33 AM.