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Old 11-30-2011, 07:51 PM   #1
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Too much

To start off, I find myself procrastinating 24/7 instead of just getting things done. It's been about a year since I've been diagnosed with OCD. Doc said, I've had it before, but it's a lot more noticeable now since I have too much time on my hands and I'm stressed out. For some reason, everything with me has to be perfect. There is no middle point. It's either one way or the other. I just wish my mind would shut up once in a while. I'm a perfectionist to the point where I'm not getting anything done. I'm struggling really hard. It took me so long to accept that I even had OCD. I'd come up with these ridiculous theories that we're causing the problem even though they weren't. It's an endless mind game with me. I want to go out, and do things I just find it impossible to do when I'm dealing with all this. I struggle with a lot of intrusive thoughts, they **** me off more, than scare me now. Also, I find it extremely difficult to hold a job or even function normally most of the day without dealing with something in my mind. I also suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, and depression. I want to solve all these things, and I don't know how. Where do I start??? I'm wasting a lot of money on cigarettes lol

 
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Old 12-11-2011, 03:59 AM   #2
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Re: Too much

I have had OCD for more than a year now, and I'm also a bit of a perfectionnist; the weirdest thing is, sometimes I do my schoolwork perfectly well, and work really really hard to make it look flawless and other times I'll keep putting it off, or do it really badly, even if it's something I should actually enjoy doing. Right now I should be doing my homework but yet again, I'm putting it off even though my mind keeps nagging at me that I should get it done with since it's hard and long. It's really weird.
My intrusive thoughts make me constantly worried about something or other, and I always ask my family for reassurance, but if they say one word wrong I panic more and start crying until they apologise and correct their "mistake"; I feel like I'm setting traps for myself, tripping myself up with my own words voluntarily, and I know I'm making it difficult for my family too, even though they try to support me the best they can. Sometimes, though, the thoughts will just **** me off, but in some way that's even worse; then I'm angry at the whole world for no reason, and I wanna blame someone, anyone for my OCD, problem is who's to blame, really?
I know how it feels when you wanna solve all your problems but they're so big that you don't even know where to start, and it only makes you more miserable; I have the same thing going on here and feel lonely cuz I don't think any other teenager of my school has this exact problem. I feel like my mind is too "loud", too powerful; my thoughts go waaayyy too fast for me and it freaks me out sometimes; I feel like I'm never completely at rest morally -or physically, actually, cuz I get anxiety attacks every day.
I dunno really what would help you; except maybe tell you to make time for some intense physical exercise at least twice a week. Swimming and badminton help me. I know it sounds dumb, but it actually really helps to relieve your anxiety; plus, you'll probably sleep better and be able to feel more rested. I dunno, that works for me, but each person is different; maybe talk to your therapist about it, ask for some advice; he or she will probably be able to give you a better and clearer answer. Good luck with that!

 
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