Re: help me please!!
Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. I know what you're going through, I went through the exact same thing; I also had that thing about the feelings fading or feeling numb because I didn't do a compulsion "right" or whatever. I know it feels horrible, but trust me, eventually it'll get better. Be sure that there is NO way you'll do ANY of those horrible OCD thoughts, and tell that to yourself every day. Write it on a sticky note and paste it on to yourself if you have to. And anytime you see one of those nasty thoughts coming again, you just repeat "it's not me, it's just my OCD, it's not me, it's just my OCD". Just say it like you would say any other phrase, don't turn it into a compulsion, like if you don't say it the right rythm or way it's not gonna work, nothing like that. Trust me, you needn't be afraid of what you'll become because truth is you're not gonna become some horrible psychopath killer or anything: the fact that you're so scared and horrified by those OCD thoughts is the proof that you won't do them! So just try to relax and enjoy the things you liked, as always, and be sure to ignore those ugly OCD thoughts; I know, I know, it's way easier said than done, but you have to make this effort. Do your very best to swat the OCD thoughts away, and with time they won't bother you so much anymore. It's true that OCD is a very persuasive "illness", but be sure that you have it in you to fight this thing off. Good luck with everything!