My grandmother has OCD. Her son, my uncle has been diagnosed with OCD as well. I think I have it too. I am completely obsessed that my husband is going to cheat on me. I keep trying to rationalize why I feel this way...my father cheated on my mother when I was young. My uncle cheated on my aunt when I was young and all I heard about from my aunt was how horrible it was and that she didn't even see it coming and that there were no problems in the marriage and it was just out of the blue after 23 years of marriage. Well...she is the only one that thought that way because my father (her brother) knew about it and told her and she was just in denial. Anyway, back to the point....I think that because of my previous history with my cheating male relatives, is the reason why I think my husband will cheat on me. My husband has NEVER given me a reason to doubt him. I've never caught him lying about where he has been or anything that would make me think he was cheating. I just think he will....I get thoughts in my head and they take over so much to the point I start thinking that is what is going on. I check our cell phone provider's website many times a day to see who he is calling and texting. I have the passwords to all of his email accounts (work and personal)..I check these often as well. I check up on him all the time, expecting at times to find him doing something wrong. It got so bad 3 years ago that he was ready to give up on our marriage because he was sick and tired of me asking why it took x amount of minutes to get from point a to point b when it should only have taken y amount of minutes. I have gotten it under control better in front of him. There is a woman at his place of employment that I thought was after him...I met her at a wedding and I was so far wrong on that one, I just get these thoughts in my head and they just run wild. It drives me crazy some days. Other days I feel fine and comfortable and think my husband would never do anything to hurt me. Then the smallest thing will peak my thoughts and they turn into more thoughts, and so on and so forth.
Another HUGE part of my problem is that I weighed about 100 pounds less when I got married than I do right now. We've been together for 6 years. I know that I could drive him away with my suspicious mind, that is why I keep it quiet from him...but if he knew about all of my detective work online, he'd be very upset with me. I must sound like a lunatic. Any advice?????