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Old 03-09-2012, 07:40 AM   #1
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I need help

I am obsessed and what has made it worst is that the man that I dated for eight months has faded for the past six months with random text messages here and there. If I already embarrassing myself I sent a texts two weeks ago asking him if I should still hold space for him in my life, that a yes or no answer was fine and no answer would be too abstract...he did not respond. I know that a normal person would get the hint, but not me. Even though he did not respond to my text message I still hold the fantasy that he is just trying to figure out if he can have a relationship with me knowing that his work has been busy and keeps him away...i am so filled with anxiety and am at the end of my rope. I call psychics, they support my thought process, but I am at my wits end and have NO idea on how to deal with this. Any and all insight would be helpful...

thanks in advance.

 
Old 03-09-2012, 08:50 AM   #2
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Re: I need help

why is it up to him whether or not you keep him in your life......
it's your decision.....why keep space for someone who's not making any effort or putting anything into the relationship.....
it's your call.....make the right one.....

 
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Old 03-09-2012, 08:57 AM   #3
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Re: I need help

I think that that is part of the obsession. I am afraid to send him a text stating the obvious, yet I am unwilling to accept the obvious at face value...him not responding to my text has sent me into a tailspin...

 
Old 03-09-2012, 08:59 AM   #4
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Re: I need help

skip the text.....did he send you a text telling you he was going to fade away?

 
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Old 03-09-2012, 09:05 AM   #5
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Re: I need help

no, but why am I having such a hard time believing that he is not coming back, that the door is still open...even when all the signs tell me that the door is closed or should be...I believe that the abandonment is too overwhelming for me and that I cannot let it go for fear that I will be lost to it

 
Old 03-09-2012, 09:25 AM   #6
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Re: I need help

I hear your words, but the feeling is no different than telling an obsessive hand washer to stop...i know that I should

 
Old 03-09-2012, 09:43 AM   #7
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Re: I need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy711 View Post
no, but why am I having such a hard time believing that he is not coming back, that the door is still open...even when all the signs tell me that the door is closed or should be...I believe that the abandonment is too overwhelming for me and that I cannot let it go for fear that I will be lost to it
this is a guy you were with for 8 months, and you said he's faded away for 6 months.....so you really only were with the guy for 2 months, correct?
YOU make the decision to shut the door.....you don't hold it open for whenever he decides to wander back in.....take control of your life

 
Old 03-09-2012, 10:25 AM   #8
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Re: I need help

no, i dated him for 8 months than the fade for the past six months. I hear what you are saying I really do...i have never had a guy do this before. If it was over there was always a discussion, as uncomfortable as they are. My mind is way to focuses on what he is doing instead of what I want. I know this and yet everyday I go through an overwhelming sense of panic.

 
Old 03-09-2012, 10:47 AM   #9
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Re: I need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy711 View Post
no, i dated him for 8 months than the fade for the past six months. I hear what you are saying I really do...i have never had a guy do this before. If it was over there was always a discussion, as uncomfortable as they are. My mind is way to focuses on what he is doing instead of what I want. I know this and yet everyday I go through an overwhelming sense of panic.
well if this has never happened before, you should consider yourself very lucky....this sort of thing happens all the time.....I can't count the number of guys that "faded away"......they just do ....because it's easier than having an uncomfortable conversation.....
there isn't anything to panic over....the guy faded away, move on.....
you were fine before he came into your life, you'll be fine afterwards.....
so in total this relationship lasted 14 months? i wouldn't feel abandoned after something that short in duration, something that's been fading for almost the same amount of time that it existed.....it's time for you to make the decision to close the door and not live your life according to other peoples whims.....

 
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