| | "Detaching" from thoughts - please help
I'm a 24 year old female from Los Angeles who essentially has everything going for her - good school, a great boyfriend, on the right "path" in life with a career..but I have these terrible obsessive thoughts that are driving me insane. I really need help and I don't know where else to turn and I feel so, so alone. I cry every single day and I want to stop. I'm terrified that I've ruined my life, wasted my youth, that I should have gone out more, I am resentful of my culturally strict family that I have to live with after school is done (and this is definitely something that adds to my anxiety because I am essentially trapped and have to deal with my extremely strict family), and it doesn't help that I have these CONSTANT "What if"...what if I am never happy? Why didn't I "go out more" in college? What if I've wasted my youth? What if I can never feel free from these thoughts? I go through "periods" and right now I'm stuck on a "past" period..meaning a constant feeling of being left out of something that everyone experienced because of my family, a feeling that I wish I had done things differently..but the problem is the thoughts are so obsessive that even in the moments when I AM free, and living at school at the moment, I can't seem to shake them and actually live.
I have read a LOT about how detaching your thoughts helps..but I have no idea how to actually "do" that. People say you learn not to react, not to have emotional reactions, to just "observe"..but how the hell do you do that? I am literally at the edge. I'm 24 and I dont' want to waste another moment..I want to live, I want to laugh and know inside of me that there's no feeling of dread (like there is even as I type this), I want to be happy, I want to be in a relationship where I don't take things out on my boyfriend because I've just had it with anxiety..PLEASE I beg you, anyone at all, please, please help me. I would truly appreciate it more than you could ever know.