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Old 04-14-2012, 09:33 AM   #1
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Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

I am a 26 year old male.

For the past few months I have been experiencing obsessive thoughts. The thoughts initially started a few years ago when I was in my third year at college. I was put on Lexapro, and that seemed to work really well. I was on the Lexapro for about a year and a half and was feeling fantastic. Never had any thoughts. I really did not want to live my life on medication, and because I was doing so well, I started to wean myself off it. (Not such a good decision). I was fully off the Lexapro for about 3 or 4 months when the thoughts came back. It seemed much worse than before. I started taking the Lexapro again and within a few weeks I started to feel normal again, only to hit rock bottom again. This scared me because the medicine had never failed like this. My doctor told me you cannot just rely on the medicine to fix all of the problems, because it can work as a roller coaster with high points and low points. These thoughts that I am experiencing all are related to one thing, and it s

eems like there is a trigger that makes me think of it. (But I am unsure of what the trigger is) I know this thought that I keep obsessing about is NOT physically possible, but for some reason I believe it to be true and I cannot function while thinking about it. Iíve been calling out of work, and I cannot seem to get moving during the day because these thoughts will not leave my mind. My wife and I are expecting our first child in just four weeks and I am worried that I will not feel better for when he arrives. I want to get excited about the upcoming birth, but I canít seem to get these crazy thoughts out of my mind. I feel like stress could be the trigger triggering these thoughts (whether it is good stress or bad stress). But we all know that stress cannot be 100% avoided. I would appreciate any advice or thoughts from anyone who has experienced this and gotten better or just might be able to help. Thanks

 
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Old 04-16-2012, 07:36 AM   #2
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

can anyone help?

 
Old 05-10-2012, 09:26 AM   #3
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

I know its been some time now since you posted this, i just came across it. I was wondering how you are doing? I too experience obessive thoughts and i know how dybilitating it can be.

 
Old 05-10-2012, 02:58 PM   #4
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

i am doing ok its an on and off thing, the medicine seems to work for the most part. Allowing me to get through the day without dwelling on the thought even though its on my mind. I am very hopeful that i will be back to 100% soon. It just comes down to drilling it y head that its not possible or it didnt hapen.

kevin

Last edited by ms_mod; 05-10-2012 at 05:31 PM.

 
Old 05-10-2012, 05:11 PM   #5
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eriksp HB User
Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

I wish we all knew what the trigger was. I was good for years on Luvox then this November it stopped working. I'm gradually switching to Prozac.

It has some kind of cycle in different people.

 
Old 05-11-2012, 06:19 AM   #6
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

I was doing so great on Luvox for 13 years that I forgot what all this felt like.This nightmare returned with avengence, the worst ever! I was taking 50mg and recently upped it to 75mg which I know is still a low dose but I was always scared to take more. Can I ask what dose of Luvox you were on.

 
Old 05-11-2012, 04:40 PM   #7
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

I've been on Luvox for 14 years. It's crazy how our story is so similar. Just this November the Luvox just stopped working. I was on 125mg for 14 years. This November it all started up again. I went to 175mg then to 200mg. At 200 I was a zombie.

Now I'm in the transition stage from Luvox to Prozac. Its actually rare for an antidepressent to last as long as it has for you and I. I have read at most a few years a drug works then people try something need to try something else. My main issue with my OCD is the Depression that comes with it. I also am no suffering from depersonalization and this is horrible.

Last edited by eriksp; 05-11-2012 at 04:56 PM.

 
Old 05-13-2012, 05:37 AM   #8
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

I had my first episode of ocd in my teen years. I forced myself slowly to stop doing the counting,checking. It was exhausting, the unwanted thoughts of harm coming to my family. The feeling of responsibility to protect them and if I didn't perform a ritual "just right" then it would be all my fault. I seemed to have some sort of remission for years. Though looking back now, I would find it hard to let some things go and ruminate about it.

I didn't realise I had O.C.D. until I had my first child. As a young teenager I knew I had "my quirky things" going on. But then they seemed to fade away over time, and occasionally any weird thought I had would pass like anyone else. I developed postnatal depression, then obsessive thoughts. I knew something was wrong and plucked up the courage to see my Doctor. (I had researched on the internet and seen some shows on T.V. and suspected OCD.) He confirmed it and I went onto medication.

I know have seen my daughter doing things, asking the same question over and over. Anxiety over Death that ruminates and other little things(though I'm sure they are not little to her). My heart is breaking for her and my anxiety is high. I had to sedate myself one night last week, worrying as any Mother would, but also knowing the possible hell she will probably have to endure.


This is the first time I have posted on any type of public forum. I would try and wait until the medication has kicked in fully and then seek some C.B.T.

My thoughts are with you through this tough time. I have googled "O.C.D. sucess
stories" and find it gives me hope and strength to read their stories and see a good quality of life can be reached. I wish I could take away my daughters traits but I have to accept both our situations.

Best of luck, please know you are not alone in this. :-)

I hope they find a cure in our lifetime. If not a cure better ways to manage this condition.

She is getting CBT which I think I should too so I'm not just relying on the medication.

 
Old 05-14-2012, 08:18 AM   #9
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

For me it started late December. When I was younger i would miss doses and didnt take religiousy, but it felt the same way even though i didnt miss any. I got those electric zap feelings, just that feeling of something missing, my heart was fluttering which i never experienced. I was under some stress and I started analyzing myself,I questioned my every thought including my intrusive ones, I felt I had no boundaries and was capable of the worst, and analyzed if that was what I actually wanted to do. It went downhill with the what ifs, it felt like i awakened some monster in me. It was so bizarre but yet felt so real. I went to a deep dark place, i lost all self confidence, self worth. I had never analyzed myself to that degree in my life. I had the depersonalization along with panic attacks, i was ready to commit myself. I read alot on Pure OCD which I never knew existed and that atleast comforted me a little seeing how I had mentual rituals and not the physical compulions I had when I was younger.I feel now atleast I'm holding my head above the water but I'm considering taking an even higher dose seeing how I'm only on 75mg, but i'm still scared to death its going to stop working all together. Its nice to finally meet somemone who has been on Luvox for just as long. Hang in there and take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

Last edited by meggiem1978; 05-14-2012 at 10:57 AM.

 
Old 05-14-2012, 06:54 PM   #10
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eriksp HB User
Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

Was it gradual when you stopped feeling the depersonalization?

 
Old 05-15-2012, 06:27 AM   #11
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

When the panic went away the depersonalization subsided.I didnt think I was ever going to feel "normal" again. I was like holy sh*t I cannot believe I'm going through this, I wanted to go back to being a child and crawling in bed with my parents.My friends kept telling me it was gonna pass and the only reason it was hitting me so hard was because I was good for like 13 years. I was like ***??? It was awful and I'm sorry you are going through it and remember its just anxiety rearing its ugly head. The more you keep tabs on it the more you are going to feel it,be patient and in no time it will subside.

 
Old 05-16-2012, 07:20 PM   #12
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eriksp HB User
Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot to me. I will be patient and wait.

I guess that's one way to look at it,the fact you and I both had many years of great times. I guess it's the quiet before the storm.

You are lucky to have such caring friends.

Last edited by eriksp; 05-16-2012 at 07:23 PM.

 
Old 07-16-2012, 09:11 AM   #13
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Re: Obsessive thoughts (the what if's)

.I am glad I stumbled upon this site. I am sorry you are dealing with this, but at the same time glad that I found others that have the same affliction I do.
In fall of 2009 I had a aggressive depressive episode that almost landed me in the hospital. It came out of nowhere, but was triggered about obsessive thoughts. I know exactly what you are going through Kbrenna7. I missed work, withdrew from my family and started to think about a way out. I could not take control of my mind and started to believe the thoughts were real. In my early twenties I was not the person I am now and was person venting/taking out on others for my years of emotional neglect as a child. Not blaming anyone else, but it is a factor of who you become as an adult. I lashed out and was cruel in two different circumstances. Years went by and I never thought twice about it. One day in 2006 my life turned for the better, I married a great woman and started to find my faith again. With this, came the obsessive thoughts about my past actions of 20 years earlier. I was able to get through this slight episode with a visit to my pastor and a few visits to a therapist. I actually apologized to one of the individuals who excepted and new i was remorseful and truely sorry. All was well and it was over,,,,,so I thought. In 2009 in hit me like sucker punch outta nowhere. I started to think of it again, again and again. Replaying the events out over and over, and adding other things that did not occur, but believed they did for I was capable of anything. It got so bad I curled up in a ball in bed and sweat/shook profusely. I missed a week of work, went for an emergency visit to my therapist. I was a mess. My head felt like it was on fire. I was put on anxiety meds, and celexa. The Therapy in my mind was the savior. I spilt the beans on everything in my mind. I drove my wife crazy. My therapist brought me back from the abyss. I totally get it . Hopes this helps you know you are by FAR not alone.

 
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