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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 04-30-2012, 12:26 PM   #1
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ocd getting so much worse... unwanted thoughts

I have posted on here before and it really helped but that was a few weeks ago and I am In need of some more help. I have been trying to stop my compulsions which is really hard but as I stop that my thoughts have been getting so much worse. I feel like a prisoner of my mind, its like I know what is right but its like my mind is trying to get me to do something terrible. It used to just be family but now it is everyone. I can't talk to some people and I have stopped doing a lot because I'm afraid of what I'm capable of. I'm very scared I might actually do it and really need some help. I have talked to different people but no ones helping.

 
Old 05-03-2012, 10:44 AM   #2
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Smile Re: ocd getting so much worse...unwanted thoughts

I know what you are going through, its hell! Its like literally having your whole world taken away/ flipped upside down nothing is simple and normal anymore. You are stuck in your mind in this deep deep dark place doubting,questioning,ruminating over and over..... Hang in there you are not alone

 
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Old 05-03-2012, 07:55 PM   #3
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Re: ocd getting so much worse...unwanted thoughts

I have had read many replies and yours helped the most. Like I want to go to therapy but irony know if i can even talk about it with anyone. It's so hard to even right it much less talk about it

 
Old 05-03-2012, 10:16 PM   #4
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Re: ocd getting so much worse...unwanted thoughts

Hey Lovekg,

I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry youre going through this right now. I've been suffering from OCD on and off now for about 3 years and my obsessions have switched around a couple of times (to whatever seems to scare me the most or seems more likely to happen in the moment), and Ive dealt with what youre going through, it is absolutely maddening! I would lock myself in rooms so nothing bad could happen in my mind and basically just make my world smaller and smaller and then I'd get all hyper because I was trying to control myself/compulse so much and it just made everything worse including the thoughts! I'd say try to relax yourself. Do things you enjoy, things that settle your mind or calm you down. Watch movies, do hobbies, take care of yourself and your environment. Stuff like this bothers well intentioned people Read up on your disease so if you want to talk about this with an OCD specialist, you can explain yourself clearly. But don't be scared, its not okay for you to feel this way all the time Bad people wouldnt care about intrusive thoughts, so I hope that brings a little peace of mind to you and I hope things start to get better for you.

Sincerely,

Eyes2thesky

 
Old 05-05-2012, 05:20 AM   #5
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Re: ocd getting so much worse...unwanted thoughts

Exactly what your saying is how I feel, everyday I feel like I get worse though qnd care less about my thoughts which scare me because if I don't care than what if I do it. And i fan never stop thinking about my thougts. Every second I think about them and can never stop. I am so scared that I'm going to do soemthing bad. And like I get terible images and its like my mind is a seperate person and keeps Adding on to my thoughts and making them worse. But I don't want to watch anything on tv because what is happening in the show sometimes makes my thoughts worse. And like I used to want to yp to therapy so bad but now I just stopped wanting to which scares me because does that mean I want sky thoughts to happen and I don't want to get help. And I'm seventeen and don't want my mom to come with me.

 
Old 05-07-2012, 05:43 AM   #6
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Re: ocd getting so much worse... unwanted thoughts

I found reading the book Imp of the mind helped me with intrusive thoughts alot. Please dont be afraid to go talk to a therapist, being stuck in gear in your mind is no way to live. You are right in thinking that you would not act on theses thoughts because they are stressing you, its just anxiety which is feeding the OCD. For me it feels like everything is over sensatised anything negative or not "normal" that enters my mind becomes something to ruminate over. You need to get your self confidence back and trust yourself, i know easier said than done but with talking to someone is the first step. You cant fight your mind with your mind, especially minds like we have.. It will get better, i promise

Last edited by meggiem1978; 05-07-2012 at 05:56 AM.

 
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Old 05-08-2012, 05:07 AM   #7
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Re: ocd getting so much worse... unwanted thoughts

Thankyou for replying. I have found the more I try to find a therapist the harder it gets. And I feel like I am becoming this OCD if that makes sense. Like everyday it gets worse and worse and there is no getting rid of it and I am becoming a totally different person then I was two months ago before all of this.

 
Old 05-08-2012, 06:03 AM   #8
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Re: ocd getting so much worse... unwanted thoughts

The frusterating thing about it is when you try to fight the OCD the harder it fights back. You really have to distract yourself even if for just a couple minutes at a time.Your mind wants to figure this all out and make sense of it and that is where the ruminating/questioning comes in. This doesnt define who you are and I know how real all this feels. I really wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy, going through this is literally my personal hell. I dont so much have the physical compulsions but i totally have the mental ones. Ive questioned and doubted pretty much everything about myself and had the obsessions to do with harm. I have never been through something more terrifying in all my life. It got to the point it felt like every thought was an intrusive one and i questioned each one. Hang in there and take the leap and find a therapist, they do wonders and they have heard everything so dont be afraid to tell them anything. Your mother doesnt have to go in the room while you talk, and if you dont want to share the details with her then just say you want to go talk to someone about some things going on with you. IF anything please know you are not alone and this isnt going to last forever

 
Old 05-09-2012, 01:47 PM   #9
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Re: ocd getting so much worse... unwanted thoughts

Everyone keeps saying its going to get better but everyday is so much worse than the day before.. I just reel like my thoughts just keep getting worse and my mind is like thinking these thoughts on its own and I have no control over them. They are terrible too like I can't even be around my freiwbds or family because I'm so scared about what my thoughts are if If they came true. I hate thinking about tomorrow abd what my thoughts will be like.

 
Old 05-10-2012, 05:56 AM   #10
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Smile Re: ocd getting so much worse... unwanted thoughts

The more you avoid situations or family and friends the worse the thoughts are going to come when you do go around them. Avoidance is feeding the anxiety and OCD and letting it win. Everyone has thoughts, the difference with us OCDers is we think they mean something about us, or we awakened some monster, its like omg why did i think that? it must be true, would i really do that? Do i secretly want to do that? etc, etc... ive been there, still at times going thru that but trust me let the thoughts pass and miraculousy somehow some way it does get a little better. Letting the thoughts pass or distracting yourself causes mad anxiety in itself but try to grin and bare it and the results will get better and better. Ive learned the more you try to avoid or analyze the thoughts and be terrified of them the more they come. Your mind stores the thoughts as something to be scared of in turn causes anxiety in turn makes you yearn to analyze and figure out in turn keeps you looing for answers deep in your mind in turn causes you to be stuck in the loop... its insane and a personal hell! Get out and go for a walk, anything to distract yourself

 
Old 05-11-2012, 09:53 PM   #11
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Re: ocd getting so much worse... unwanted thoughts

i have been going through this for years but now i am seeing a great change. The change began when i stop trying to stop those thoughts. Regard them as passing clouds and believe me, trying to stop them only makes them more violent. Take this as an example, if it rains you don't try to stop the rain (because its impossible) but rather you seek shelter. Learn from this example, those though s are harmless as long as you don't wory about them, worry gives them power.

 
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