| worried I've embarassed myself
I'm a stay at home mom who is going through a divorce. In less stressful times I am able to control my ocd without medication. However, when I'm under stress it really manifests itself. I've recently started taking Zoloft (50mg). I went out Saturday night to a local bar. I drank too much red wine and ended up quite drunk. I have not been able to stop obsessing over what I may have said or done. I have worried incessantly since that next morning what people in my city are thinking of me. The thoughts have been so severe I think I should move away. I want to hide in my house and I am concerned everyone is thinking I am a terrible person who doesn't deserve to have my beautiful children. I have sought constant reassurance from friends and family who say "oh, you just blew off some steam" and "everyone goes out and does that from time to time" but for me it goes beyond the normal shame and embarassment. I did not drive myself home or engage in any other dangerous activities. I guess I'm afraid of what I may have revealed to others. The most troubling thing is I can't stop thinking about it. I've always described this type of thinking as "being on the wheel" as in a hamster wheel. Has anyone else had these types of thoughts? When I'm in this mode of thinking I am incredibly irritable and everything gets under my skin. Anyone else had similiar experiences?
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