I have OCD too. I always have to check things and if I don't follow these 'rituals' then I feel as though something bad may happen, and a horrible feeling of fear and despair wells up inside me. I get nervous in many situations- the other day my phone went off while I was in town, and I couldn't stop shaking, I was so anxious. I also get some intrusive thoughts, and I always have the urge to check behind me, or check the doors, or the window or plugs,etc.. At night, I can be checking things and worrying until really late and I get really tired.
I sometimes feel really guilty that there are people who can't even leave their homes because of anxiety, or people who have serious cancer or something, and I am just a little fussy about the door or something.
I know it's not like that, but my head is so irrational and I don't know what to do. Sometimes it's manageable and sometimes I feel like crying.
It's reassuring to know that there are other people who feel the same way. It seems the only people who understand are the people who have it. If you find anyway of coping, please let me know! xx