For awhile I've thought of myself as having OCD. I don't really talk about it with anyone and I'm pretty good at hiding it. When I'm alone, or have a lot of downtime is usually when my thoughts become rapid and I almost feel like my mind is running a movie in fastforward. It's like one memory after another almost. Some of the memories I have from my past I feel like are almost bad luck, and I immediately have to think of something else. I know that sounds really weird. These "bad luck" memories usually come from a time when I was really unhappy with pretty much everything in my life. Now, I'm very happy and content. I don't know if it's a fear of feeling so crappy again, or what. But I also feel like if I block out these older memories with new, good ones that it's keeping me in a safer zone to not fall back into that bad time again.
I also, in my mind, repeat a term, usually in multiples of 3 that i feel is somewhat lucky. If I don't get the chance to do this the way I want to, I feel very uneasy. I don't want it to start affecting my normal life. I have a great serious boyfriend, a good job and good friends/family, though I still feel anxious a lot. Are there any suggestions ( other than a therapist) that anyone might have to help ease these thoughts?? I'd really like to hear what people have to say, regardless of whether or not you've experienced something similar.
My personal experience and how I try to manage these intrusive thoughts its first to acknowledge that I have no control over what thoughts pop in and out of my head. That's our brain - but I will say to myself when I have these offending thoughts - and I get hung up on them, OK - this is my OCD. I find acknowleding when my OCD is flaring up helps realize and makes it easier to let it go. I visualize these thoughts like balloongs floating around, when one comes into my head that persists, I flick it away... lol. Yay for visualization! This was a tip given to my by a therapist a few years ago, and I still use this "balloon" analogy today.
It's tough-but memories are memories, they are not reality anymore (in the moment) and worrisome thoughts about what may happen is also not reality. I've coem to the realization with OCD that alot of stress comes from things that are not even real (just thoughts) - it's silly really. But I know it's not that easy too. That's why it's a disorder. I've been practicing lately on trying to manage it by exposing myself to the things that cause me anxiety and not reacting (trial and error) but it seems to be diminishing a bit. So I am hopeful over time, it will go away... Times of stress are the worse when it really kicks into high gear - so physical activity helps, keeping busy helps.