Re: Please help me! Anxiety destroying me.
I can definitely relate to your situation, and I'm sorry you're going through this. It can be scary to not "feel" the way you used to, the way you know you should towards something or someone. But make no mistake, if you suffer from anxiety and have OCD, this is your illness feeding off your weakness and playing games with you.
As I read your post, it's clear to me that your OCD has latched onto this issue and making you doubt your love for your boyfriend. When you re-read your text messages, you're actually ritualizing, which only strengthens the intrusive thoughts. When you think about breaking up with your boyfriend, you are in fact ritualizing since you're trying to reassure yourself that this isn't something you want to do. You're doing these things because your anxiety level is high, but by engaging in these compulsions, your anxiety is only going to increase and you will be feeding your obsession. I do think you realize this is anxiety and OCD, but you need to get yourself out of this trap.
In working to overcome my own OCD, I've realized a few things that I think are critical: I'm not necessarily my mind, I'm not my OCD, and what I do is more important than how I feel. I know girls may tend to put more importance on emotion than guys, but if you know you love him, [I]love him[I]. Try to put more emphasis on what you do to love him as opposed to how you feel about him from day to day. I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships, but I'm pretty sure you haven't felt the same way about him every day since the day you met him. The "cloud" or unwanted feeling that you have is a result of anxiety and having ritualized about this obsession. When your mind is trying to convince you that you don't love him, ignore it. Label it as garbage, attribute it to your OCD and turn your attention to something more positive or continue what you were doing, not feeling. Also, fear is OCD's food. Don't be afraid.
I would really recommend that you read the following book: "Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior" by Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Beverly Beyette. I've personally found it to be tremendously helpful in dealing with OCD.