Pure-o sufferer in need of help
Hi all. My name is Steve, and I've been diagnosed with Pure-o, and have absolutely no faith in any treatment working.
I'll start from the start:
When I was with my ex girlfriend, I started to experience thoughts and images which led me to feel terrible. As a consequence, I sought help from the doctor, eventually ending up on citalopram (which did nothing) and seeing a counsellor. Months down the line, the counsellor failed to diagnose anything, and effectively said he could do nothing. I then went to a psychotherapist who eventually (after 7 sessions) diagnosed pure-o, which I'd already suggested based on my internet research. I went through a course of CBT which did nothing. Throughout all this, I was experiencing almost constant thoughts which led me to feel horrendous, and totally unable to do anything.
I have read numerous pure-o testimonies, but never come across one similar to mine. Basically I feel bad about drinking alchohol. I have no idea why, as it has no reasonable significance to me or relates to previous bad experiences. Anyway, I couldn't deal with my girlfriend drinking at all. We later broke up, and after a number of months, I began to feel normal again. However, I have since tried seeing other people, but simply can't deal with anything to do with drinking. The best way I can describe it is that I get a 'bad' feeling. THis is unlike any anxiety/stress I've ever experienced elsewhere, and just makes me feel as though I can't go on. it's a black cloud, but different than depresion.
No treatment or tablets have worked, and basically I can't have a girlfriend without feeling terrible. I've also now applied the bad feeling to any men the girl may have seen in the past etc. i have no idea what to do, and genuinely feel there is no way of moving past it. I'm currently on Clomipramine and seeking mindfulness treatment.
Any advice would be much appreciated.