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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 08-28-2012, 08:42 AM   #1
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Unhappy Is this really normal?

I'm sorry this going to be a long post but this is my first time posting on something like this. Exactly 6 weeks ago I expierced my first ever full blown panic attack. I was watching a show where a son had attempted suicide and it completely put me into a sheer panic. I thought I then was having suicidal feelings and my Gp linked it to an allergy medicine . I immediately stopped the medicine because of how fearful I was an noticed it had not stopped the awful thoughts after about a week. I was going to new York city for the weekend with my amazing boyfriend and found myself getting nervous that I wouldn't feel better by that time the dr prescribed xanex and Zoloft (Zoloft I had taken before) and nothin seemed to help, I have had anxeity my whole life and sligy depression but NOT ONCE ever thought of ending my life , never. So I clearly knew this wasent normal. Turns out I then took an Effexor which sent my body into sure panic my mother had to come pick me up I couldn't sleep couldn't eat and literally thought I had gone crazy. I am now seein a therapist who informed me I was not suicidal but have OCD, I have always been very neat and orderly and I'd say very type A but never had thoughts like these. They then spiraled into thoughts of what if I could hurt my boyfriend who I loved more than anything and started having then intrusive thoughts on that. I am not a violent person, I always try to make everyone else happy and always have been excite to have children, get married and couldn't wait for this to start seeing my boyfriend and I bought a condo about a year ago an engagement is probably coming soon. I am so discouraged with this!! I feel like a completely different hopeless person who dosent look forward to anything that used to make me beyond happy case of these awful thoughts. The thoughts have now turned back to a fear o harming myself. I don't want to take medicine so I have changed my diet and started excersise and also see y therapist once a week, will this ever end? I am also gettin my period soon and it seems he past couple days have been the worst, is this common?

 
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