This is so much like my situation!
My boyfriend and I both met and started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We have been together for 4 years now. I have never experienced ROCD until a month ago when I started the birth control Nuva Ring. It gave me intense anxiety. I got off of it and the withdrawal symptoms made the anxiety the worst I have ever felt in my life!! It was really scary. The night it all started was when I was talking to this guy and I said I was scared to go to college because I wasn't sure if I would see my boyfriend much and he said I would probably end up with some other dude" and that scared me and thats pretty much how I spiraled out of control with ROCD.
I am feeling a lot better now but the backdoor spikes are what is getting to me. The past few days I started feeling back to my old self. Its been hard but I am trying not to let the ROCD trick me anymore. I am really getting good at catching myself before the anxiety gets worse. Sometimes it gets hard, especially after sex. I know deep down it was really nice and satifying, and theres always a moment of oneness I feel with him aswell (which is reassuring) but my mind tends to start making up reasons why it wasn't good or it could of been better, then I start to question things and start getting anxiety. Its all one big trap I swear. You just have to learn how to catch yourself from falling into the ROCD doubting, questioning, and analyzing trap
I know I am capable of recovering and being my old self again. <edit> Right now I am just accepting these thoughts and feelings because its just apart of the process of getting better.
So when you are experiencing a back door spike try not to analyze or question it too much. Just try and accept the feelings and thoughts and you soon will start feeling the love come back into your life. Once I started to accept the anxiety and thoughts and stopped questioning how I felt the old warm and loving feelings I have for my boyfriend came back, so I'm sure it will happen with you
I really hope this helped you somewhat <3 You are strong and once you take this ROCD head on and just accept all this uncomfortable-ness and maybe even see a therapist who specializes in OCD, you will start feeling alright again, it might take time but rome wasnt built in a day