head0

Thanks in advance all,

My gf of 5 yrs is 37 and she is 5 yrs older than me. Recently I became obsessed over her forming under eye wrinkles so much so that I broke up with her bc I couldn't talk to her without focusing on them and causing me crippling anxiety. To be honest I never was truly in love with her and always thought she was not pretty enough for me (I have self esteem issues of not being handsome and have always felt that I needed a truly hot GF or I would not be good enough to show all the other kids from my childhood tha I am worthy or cool.) however now that I am older I see how stupid this is but it still kept me from loving the most amazing woman I have ever met. Now I likely have lost her forever but I need help stopping these thoughts., fears, and obsessions on her appearance bc I truly love her so much and want I develop a deeper relationship with her if she gives me another chance. I go to 3 counselors and want to know if I can ever accept her for who she is, wrinkles and all, and love her for who she is. I really want that but my mind crippled me. She has also gained weight over these years and it has changed the shape of her face and I am less attracted to her. It scares me that it will get worse and I will be in an unhappy marriage. We have unbelievable sex, she is the most caring and lovig and smart, intelligent and good person as I have ever met and I am scared that I am losing the most amazing woman bc of my mental health issues (depression, OCD-obsessive type, ADD, perfectionistic, poor self esteem) any advice please?!?!?