Re: Intrusive thoughts ocd
I was born with OCD. I suffer from compulsions and obsessive thoughts. As a teenager, my compulsions were really intense and they have calmed down over the past 10 years. I have experienced just about every possible OCD symptom that is on Web Md! I count, check doors/locks, obsessed with even numbers, obsessed with things being perfect, etc. However, I went through a horrible break up and I started graduate school this year. My OCD started to spike up this past July into a scary outbreak of "intrusive thoughts". I honestly thought I was going insane! I could not think my own thoughts...they ranged from anything violent to sexual to demented. I thought I was going to be put in jail or locked up in the looney bin! I started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy this past January, but I stopped because I felt completely fine. A few months later in July, my OCD spiked into these crazy thoughts. When they come into my brain, I just say "this is my ocd talking/my annoying friend/etc", I say "I accept my OCD and any thought I have!" The best thing that works for me is writing out my thoughts and challenging them. I started medication 6 weeks ago and I am SO glad I did! I am on 75 mg of Luvox. I can think my own thoughts again! I am not 100% yet, but I am working on my way there. I also find making jokes about my OCD works really well. For instance, if I have a sexual thought...I joke and say, "I am going to have sex with everyone in the world!" It sounds funny out loud and it takes away the anxiety since I know how irrational my thoughts are. I look at this disease as I am the biggest scaredy cat in the world and I would never act on any of my thoughts. I understand that they are my fears coming out in the weirdest form. It is important to remember that fear paralyzes our brain which is why we have so many weird thoughts! My thoughts are always centered around death because I am scared to die! It makes so much sense if you actually think about all the fears you have. I have so many fears that I am afraid to live! We cannot let OCD isolate ourselves bc it will. I have noticed that since my thoughts were at the worst, I completely shut off from the world. I am a workaholic, but I need to start having a social life again. I battle the beast every day and I will get through this! I hope to get married and have a family someday if someone will accept me for who I am! I fear the future and I fear the thought of someone loving me bc of my mental illness. I hope things will get better! Keep praying!