I have had Ocd pretty much my whole adult life Over this last year I became addicted to vicodin and once I quit the withdrawals sent my Ocd through the roof. I started having really bad intrusive thoughts thoughts of death and harm coming to my children. A month later I started having worser thoughts that I was the one who could harm my children. My children are my life these thoughts are torture I read everywhere that there are many who have this same ocd and that where not a danger but my mind just won't click. All my life I have strived to be a good person despite my mental illness these thoughts go against the very fabric of my being of who I am. Does anyone know if these thoughts will go away eventually I'm gonna try to go too therapy but right now I'm trapped in my own hell and I can't get out.
The Following User Says Thank You to darthpoe1278 For This Useful Post: Charmbracelet81 (09-27-2012)
Hello I have had horrible intrusive thoughts for over 15 years. and there always about the people and things you care about the most. I have personally had thoughts about my mom, dad, other family members, friends, there children, and my boyfriend. They have become very intense at different parts of my life, but with a good medication and counseling they can go away almost all together. Don't worry, people who have ocd feel like they can act on these thoughts, but I hontesly don't think anyone ever has. You don't want to do these things that you are thinking and that's why you get so much distress from the thoughts. My prayers are with you and fear not, you are not alone. Because as I'm reading your post I'm going through my own ocd hell. Take care honey.
The Following User Says Thank You to illflyaway136 For This Useful Post: bella18 (10-01-2012)
I was born with OCD. I suffer from compulsions and obsessive thoughts. As a teenager, my compulsions were really intense and they have calmed down over the past 10 years. I have experienced just about every possible OCD symptom that is on Web Md! I count, check doors/locks, obsessed with even numbers, obsessed with things being perfect, etc. However, I went through a horrible break up and I started graduate school this year. My OCD started to spike up this past July into a scary outbreak of "intrusive thoughts". I honestly thought I was going insane! I could not think my own thoughts...they ranged from anything violent to sexual to demented. I thought I was going to be put in jail or locked up in the looney bin! I started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy this past January, but I stopped because I felt completely fine. A few months later in July, my OCD spiked into these crazy thoughts. When they come into my brain, I just say "this is my ocd talking/my annoying friend/etc", I say "I accept my OCD and any thought I have!" The best thing that works for me is writing out my thoughts and challenging them. I started medication 6 weeks ago and I am SO glad I did! I am on 75 mg of Luvox. I can think my own thoughts again! I am not 100% yet, but I am working on my way there. I also find making jokes about my OCD works really well. For instance, if I have a sexual thought...I joke and say, "I am going to have sex with everyone in the world!" It sounds funny out loud and it takes away the anxiety since I know how irrational my thoughts are. I look at this disease as I am the biggest scaredy cat in the world and I would never act on any of my thoughts. I understand that they are my fears coming out in the weirdest form. It is important to remember that fear paralyzes our brain which is why we have so many weird thoughts! My thoughts are always centered around death because I am scared to die! It makes so much sense if you actually think about all the fears you have. I have so many fears that I am afraid to live! We cannot let OCD isolate ourselves bc it will. I have noticed that since my thoughts were at the worst, I completely shut off from the world. I am a workaholic, but I need to start having a social life again. I battle the beast every day and I will get through this! I hope to get married and have a family someday if someone will accept me for who I am! I fear the future and I fear the thought of someone loving me bc of my mental illness. I hope things will get better! Keep praying!