| | Can anyone relate?
Hey everyone my names mariah and im 19 years old. I havent been officially diagnosed with ocd but im pretty damn sure I have it lol. I just wanted to know if anyone can relate to the thoughts that im having. It first started with thoughts about hurting my one and a half son.i would have thoughts of hurting him or different ways of killing him. Omg that scares me even to just write it. It literally scared me to the core and made me sick to my stomach. right when I opened my eyes in the morning boom the thought would be there. It wasnt so severe that I couldnt function thou. I finally did some research and saw I had ocd, jeeze what a relief lol. Basically I was fine just trying to ignore the thought until one day my ocd said hey what if your having this thought because god wants you to hurt your son. Omg that scared the crap out of me. I couldnt stop thinkong about it! Even now it still popS into my head every once in awhile. Also abouy two weeks ago I began to develop rocd about my boyfriend who is the father of my son and i've been with for two in a half years. Thoughts like you dont love him anymore all that good stuff, but finally a couple days ago I felt myself starting to dismiss this thought because it was do silly to me. Untill two days ago my ocd said hey what if your having these thoights about your boyfriend because god doesnt want you to be with him. This is causing me stress. I believe in god bit im not totally into my religion like I go to church all the time or anything like that. Also I shpuld note I never second guessed my feelings for my boyfriend before my ocd kicked in. either way im not breaking up with my boyfriend he makes me happy and I refuse to let ocd rule my life or make my decisions. So basically im just wondering if anyone has a similar story they can share with me so I dont feel like im alone with my ocd. Oh and sorry for the short novel I just wrote lol