Re: can someone lend me some advice???
I am a fellow OCDer myself. I have harm/morbid OCD and compulsions that run separate from my obsessions. Thank god for medication and CBT because that is really working! I am on 250 MG of Luvox and .5 of Klonopin. I am not sure if you go to a psychologist or psychiatrist. I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy where the therapist will teach you techniques on how to cope with these thoughts. You probably need to get on a higher dose of Zoloft. I have been battling harm OCD since July of this year. It has been HORRIBLE. My best advice is to write out your thoughts and challenge them. Ask, "What is the evidence?" As soon as I put my thoughts on paper, they disappear and another one will take it's place. However, this does not happen now because of my medication. Also, place post it notes all around your computer. "This is not me, it is my OCD". "These thoughts are not reality." "My OCD is talking and it is not me." "I do have OCD and I accept it."
This disorder is a true battle. I am finally at a point where my images have disappeared and they are distorted at times. I still find odd harming phrases coming to my brain. My brain says, "I have to kill the chickens". It is very weird. All you have to know is that we have something chemically wrong with our brain. Our brain says the most irrational evil, mean things and it LIES! OCD is a LIER! No one understands what it is like unless you have it. It is a battle everyday. The good news is: This is a serious anxiety disorder. No one with OCD (only OCD) has ever acted out on their thoughts. Thoughts are just thoughts. We are in control of our actions. We just have a silly messed up brain that gets locked up. Read the book called "Brain Lock". It is really great! You just need some tools to help you manage this. I am getting through it and you will too. It takes time and it does not get better over night. Good luck and keep in touch!