Okay so basically I need some advice to help me with my situation. I've been dealing with my ocd thoughts for about 6 months now and it started with thoughts about harming or killing my son which drove me insane until I figured out I wasn't alone and this was called ocd. I began feeling better and was getting into my faith more until an ocd thought popped into my head what if god wants you to harm your son? And that definitely caused extreme anxiety but I eventually got over that because my mind was busy with rove about my boyfriend which also caused anxiety but I realized it was just ocd trying to mess with me and then again my ocd said what if god doesn't want you to be with him? But I was able to brush this thought off too. So about two weeks ago I was triggered by reading a post about a wife who was having ocd thoughts that her husband was a molester and that totally triggered me. I have had this thought before with my ocd but was able to brush this off because it was so silly. So anyways this posy triggered me into obsessing over this thought that I knew was not true! My boyfriend is a great father. So I just ignored the thought and I've been feeling really good for the past two days until today when I was thinking how thankful I was for having such a good day and how I should thank god and then boom another thought popped into my head saying this is gods way of telling you your boyfriend is a molester. This is so stupid because my boyfriend is such an awesome dad. Basically I'm just asking if someone can help me a lil bit and offer me some advice. Thanks for reading my long post too lol
It's okay to have faith in God, but remind yourself that YOU are in control of your thoughts and actions. God is not. The thoughts you are having are irrational. My best advice for you is to stop worrying so much about having the thoughts. I find that the more guilty I feel for having a thought, the more it will pop in my head. If a thought does arise, just acknowledge that it is irrational and silly. Redirect yourself to something positive like playing with your son or doing something enjoyable with your boyfriend. Are you on medication? That may also be an option that could help with the intrusive thoughts.
First off thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and reply lol. Yessssssss I totally agree with what you said in your post its so irrational but I just needed someone to tell me that lol. That's exactly what I do too like if I have the thought about my boyfriend I'll go cuddle with him or kiss him just to let myself know I'm in control of my actions. And yes I'm currently on 75 mg of zoloft which I think is helping especially with the anxiety
I am a fellow OCDer myself. I have harm/morbid OCD and compulsions that run separate from my obsessions. Thank god for medication and CBT because that is really working! I am on 250 MG of Luvox and .5 of Klonopin. I am not sure if you go to a psychologist or psychiatrist. I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy where the therapist will teach you techniques on how to cope with these thoughts. You probably need to get on a higher dose of Zoloft. I have been battling harm OCD since July of this year. It has been HORRIBLE. My best advice is to write out your thoughts and challenge them. Ask, "What is the evidence?" As soon as I put my thoughts on paper, they disappear and another one will take it's place. However, this does not happen now because of my medication. Also, place post it notes all around your computer. "This is not me, it is my OCD". "These thoughts are not reality." "My OCD is talking and it is not me." "I do have OCD and I accept it."
This disorder is a true battle. I am finally at a point where my images have disappeared and they are distorted at times. I still find odd harming phrases coming to my brain. My brain says, "I have to kill the chickens". It is very weird. All you have to know is that we have something chemically wrong with our brain. Our brain says the most irrational evil, mean things and it LIES! OCD is a LIER! No one understands what it is like unless you have it. It is a battle everyday. The good news is: This is a serious anxiety disorder. No one with OCD (only OCD) has ever acted out on their thoughts. Thoughts are just thoughts. We are in control of our actions. We just have a silly messed up brain that gets locked up. Read the book called "Brain Lock". It is really great! You just need some tools to help you manage this. I am getting through it and you will too. It takes time and it does not get better over night. Good luck and keep in touch!
Thank you also for replying I have not been officially diagnosed by my Dr I just told her over the phone I was having some intrusive thoughts and she said okay but I'm gonna talk to her about it more in detail tomorrow. But I'm pretty sure I have it lol. Thanks so much for your advice and that's funny you say that because I just bought brain lock yesterday and have read it and its awesome. Yeah and I heard with ocd you need a higher dose for zoloft