Re: OCD and Anxiety consuming me
I can relate a lot to what you are saying about doing the drugs/therapy when it's bad but then letting it go once things are back to "normal". I'd hit a spike, see a therapist and do some CBT excersises for a little while but then things would be back to normal (ie I'd go through the day without my OCD bothering me) and before long id set the therapy aside (there were even days where I'd forgot to take my meds). Out of sight, out of mind right?
I've come to realize after a recent spike that may not be the best approach though. With my symptoms flaring, my medication being at least temporarily less effective for whatever reason, and my daily life being disrupted, I realized I didn't have a very good handle on how to deal with things. Sure I was great when the meds were working and I had minor hiccups, but because I wasn't well practiced at the CBT, this big spike threw me for a loop. It was like falling off a boat and not really knowing how to swim. I was fine while I was o. The boat, but I freaked out when I hit the water, which only made things worse. Now I've realized that if I know how to swim (ie know the CBT) falling in the water is just annoying not traumatizing.
BTW a good CBT therapist who is knowledgeable about treating anxiety/OCD won't be just about talking, you'll learn what you can be doing (mentally often but still doing) to make a real difference. If you can find someone who specializes in treating OCD you'll be better off than just seeing a random therapist.