I'm in the middle of a ritual right now. Here's how it works. I walk into a room. Touch both sides of my face. Count how much money I have in my wallet. Touch both sides of my face again. And then say, "the ritual is done, nothing matters. It doesn't matter what I think, nothing matters." Then leave the room. I just completed this ritual. But I didn't close the door before I walked out of the room. That makes me think I have to do the ritual again, even though I know in reality it's pointless. The reason why I say, "the ritual is done nothing matters..." is because I don't want anything to matter after the ritual is complete. But I still have the obsession in my mind that I didn't close the door. I have so many ocd rituals it's ridiculous. I have to touch both sides of my face often even when I'm surfing the internet. It's like I go to a website, and when I leave I have to make sure I go back to my homepage. Then close the browser, then touch both sides of my face. If I don't do this I have to revisit the same website. I'm on 3 different kinds of medication right now. Zyprexa, Stellazine and Buspar. I'm on medications for illnesses that I don't have which is a whole other story that I won't waste your time with. I visit a psychologist/social worker once a month but he's useless in helping me. I also see a doctor to get refills on my medication. I told myself at the beginning of February I'm going to stop all of these OCD rituals. I do this often at the beginning of each month. I thought the new year would bring new hope but my OCD is worse this month than any other month I can think of. Is there any medication that can be prescribed for OCD and can anybody relate to what I'm going through? Please respond.
Sorry to hear the you are struggling Rick. It sounds like you are acutely aware of your OCD and you want to get better, both very important steps. I would suggest doing everything you can to find a therapist in your area who is experience with treating anxiety disorders. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the front line methods for treating OCD and has been found to be effective alone or with medication.
In the meantime there are books you can read that will help you better understand how and why OCD does what it does, and also how you can help yourself get better using CBT techniques. I highly recommend "Brain Lock" which does an excellent job of explaining the physiological causes of and interworkings of OCD. It also provides a four step method for OCD recovery using CBT techniques. There are also workbooks out there that will walk you through the CBT and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). Obviously these are best done while working with a qualified therapist, but it won't hurt to begin educating yourself in case that takes awhile or isn't an option for you at this time.
Based on personal experience medication CAN make a big difference in leading a mostly symptom free life, but I've also learned that without CBT you are left very vulnerable during relapses, so I highly encourage you to pursue both avenues. Even if you find meds that work great, seriously seriously look in to the CBT aspect, you'll be better off for it.
Another avenue for help and support would be to look for an OCD Support Group in your area. The International OCD Foundation website has a database you can search for groups and is a good place to start. This site has an Anxiety Center that is linked near the top of the page that provides good resources about OCD as well. I hope you can get the help you want soon and stop living a life controlled by your compulsions. It can definitely get better!