Hi, I'm new to this. I saw tons of great things on this site and decided to give it a try. I have had OCD for nearly my entire life, in many different forms and ways, however, ROCD has by far been the most irritating and downright annoying form I have had yet. I should be the happiest I have ever been in my life, and in a way I am. I date the woman of my DREAMS, literally, she is an incredible girlfriend, she is faithful, she is beautiful, I have thought this since the day I met her and as our relationship furthers I could very well see her being "the one". With all this joy and happiness, comes a great amount of OCD, probably the worst streak of OCD I have ever had. I am currently obsessing over "what if I am still in love with my ex", the statement is completely false, I know for a fact I have no feelings for my ex whatsoever, but as any OCD sufferer knows, that's not enough to stop these thoughts from occuring. From the minute I wake up, the the minute I fall asleep, these thoughts go through my head, over and over and over again. I find myself "checking" and analyzing my thoughts and of course practicing "rituals". I am worried all day that I will one day date my ex again, which literally scares me to death. The thinking is completely irrational and makes no sense whatsoever, but that's just OCD. The worst thing lately is the OCD occuring in my dreams, nearly everynight i dream of a scenario or situation where I am back with my ex, I wake up feeling horrified and guitly, scared and most of all frustrated. I have no idea what to do about this. My relationship with my girlfriend is literally perfect, I want to be with her for as long as possible and feel the happiness this brings along, but my OCD has been putting a dapper on everything. I just want my life back, this truly sucks. I want to be able to enjoy this incredible relationship the way I should- Not be killing myself with OCD compulsions all day long.
Listen closely, you DO have a handle on your OCD....you know these crazy messages are just that - Crazy Messages!!!! The thing about OCD that's most frustrating is that we know what it is, but our loved ones have no idea????? I spoke to my doc about the need to seek reassurance from my husband ( i knew he wouldn't understand, but there was this annoying urge to confess my thoughts?) so he said, "it's not wise to tell him your fears, etc. you don't want to burden him with them" so that made me feel lots better. Like you said, I have close to a 'perfect life' aside from the annoying thoughts......I was feeling like I was hurting myself and asking why? Please KNOW that OCD comes from a brain that's not working like it should....like that irritating 'snow' on the TV you get when the cable goes out.
You have to know that OCD can be conquered! I've fallen prey many times, and just as many times I've been able to acheive complete relief from the symptoms.....yes, they are symptoms, not YOU! With the help of a competent psychiatist, Prozac, and NAC (over the counter supplement) I am today OCD free. My thoughts have turned from confused and twisted to strong and rational. I don't wake up at night anymore; I have freedom. I want you and others who come to this site to know that you should never, ever give up the fight. Be strong, get the help you need, and you CAN be free of this monster.
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to paisleyprincess For This Useful Post: saccyninza (06-10-2013)
Thank you very much for your kind and helpful reply, it is getting easier to cope with day by day and I can feel it dwindling away. What is this NAC you're talking about? I tried prozac and it wasn't for me
N-Acetyl Cysteine (spelling could be off) is a supplement (get mine online through Vitacost). Recent studies have shown that it is helpful for tourette's, nailbiting, and hairpulling rituals. Taken a step further, my psych doc says that it's been showing promise for OCD as well as Bipolar Disorder. After a couple days on 1200 mg (one in the am and one at night) my incessant crazy thoughts began to fade. I did take it in conjunction w/prozac and it could be that the prozac finally kicked in (at the same time), but I'll never know for sure Needless to say, I'm a NAC fan
Relationship OCD is torturing me also. I should also be the happiest I have ever been in my life because I found my soulmate but I am bit because I'm plagued with doubt that I do not love him and am not happy. I know I love him and I would be miserable without him. This is my second major bout with OCD. I was diagnosed two years ago. Im miserable and do not want to leave him. In fact, I want to marry him. But I am so plagued with doubt it is killing me.