I was diagnosed with OCD and Depression back in 2005 and have been on Lexapro since then.
I have gone through some rough patches since this time. By rough patch I mean I have gotten depressed again for a period of time and then I got over it. Also during this time, I have tended to be more anxious with more difficulty sleeping.
I once lowered my Lexapro dose and started taking Wellbutrin. That was a disaster for my anxiety! Then, I was put on Pristiq and that was not much better. Finally, I went back to 20mg of Lexapro. During the med change time, I got really depressed and felt I could not function normally and have a normal life.
After I went back up to 20mg of Lexapro, I also took Chinese herbs. Basically, I felt really good again and did really well for about a year. Then, I hit another depressive period with a lot of anxiety. This time, there was no med change involved--it was just stressful life circumstances. I graduated from grad school--that's what seemed to ignite it.
Just wondering--has anyone else gone through ups and downs with their OCD? Do you ever get depressed when you feel stuck in your anxiety? My psychiatrist told me that a good medication should always help you and that there should not be an experience of symptoms. But my pattern has been to have some break through symptoms now and then.
This past year, I feel like I have sort of been on a rollercoaster. I mean, I have noticed that i might feel good for 3 months, but then struggle again for another three months and repeat the pattern. During the struggle, I seem to have less control over the intrusive thoughts and I get really down on myself. I have also lost energy and motivation. I worry that I might be developing mixed state Bipolar disorder. My dad has Bipolar and I think he has the type with mixed states, so I worry I could have more of a chance of getting it too. During the difficult times, I seem to feel more irritable and have racing thoughts--but they are of an obsessive nature, but sometimes I'll also have a song going over and over in my head. I tend to have more trouble sleeping at this time.
Does this sort of thing sound familiar to anyone here? I hope I am not alone.
Last edited by jupiterjazz; 07-31-2013 at 07:34 PM.
No, you are not alone. I am 41 and have had OCD since I was a teen and that has been the typical pattern for me. I have had times where the OCD just isn't hardly a factor in my life (when my meds are working the way they should or when my life doesn't have a lot of stress, which has been rare) and then there have been times where I been almost incapacitated because of the OCD. Your Dr. said that a good medication should always help you--that doesn't sound right. Medicines do lose their effectiveness, our bodies change etc. I've had times when my medicine was working just great, I was going along great and then BAM! circumstances became too stressful and the medicine was not enough. After going through all the graduating college, getting married, getting pregnant, getting divorced etc. etc. I have realized that it does cause stress (good or bad) and it doesn't matter how awesome the medicine is, the anxiety and depression can break through. It wouldn't be as bad as if I wasn't on the medicine, but it still is pretty darn bad! I have racing thoughts and can get extremely irritable too mainly when I am obsessing. And anxiety does that. I'm not saying that you don't have Bipolar, but just because your dad does, doesn't mean you will. My aunt is paranoid schizophrenic and some of my wild OCD obsessions used to make me think I was going to end up schizophrenic too (I think my family thought so too), but I never ended up that way. I hope you feel better.