OCD since 2005
I am new to this board and this is my first post.
I was diagnosed with OCD and Depression back in 2005 and have been on Lexapro since then.
I have gone through some rough patches since this time. By rough patch I mean I have gotten depressed again for a period of time and then I got over it. Also during this time, I have tended to be more anxious with more difficulty sleeping.
I once lowered my Lexapro dose and started taking Wellbutrin. That was a disaster for my anxiety! Then, I was put on Pristiq and that was not much better. Finally, I went back to 20mg of Lexapro. During the med change time, I got really depressed and felt I could not function normally and have a normal life.
After I went back up to 20mg of Lexapro, I also took Chinese herbs. Basically, I felt really good again and did really well for about a year. Then, I hit another depressive period with a lot of anxiety. This time, there was no med change involved--it was just stressful life circumstances. I graduated from grad school--that's what seemed to ignite it.
Just wondering--has anyone else gone through ups and downs with their OCD? Do you ever get depressed when you feel stuck in your anxiety? My psychiatrist told me that a good medication should always help you and that there should not be an experience of symptoms. But my pattern has been to have some break through symptoms now and then.
This past year, I feel like I have sort of been on a rollercoaster. I mean, I have noticed that i might feel good for 3 months, but then struggle again for another three months and repeat the pattern. During the struggle, I seem to have less control over the intrusive thoughts and I get really down on myself. I have also lost energy and motivation. I worry that I might be developing mixed state Bipolar disorder. My dad has Bipolar and I think he has the type with mixed states, so I worry I could have more of a chance of getting it too. During the difficult times, I seem to feel more irritable and have racing thoughts--but they are of an obsessive nature, but sometimes I'll also have a song going over and over in my head. I tend to have more trouble sleeping at this time.
Does this sort of thing sound familiar to anyone here? I hope I am not alone.
Last edited by jupiterjazz; 07-31-2013 at 06:34 PM.