I met a man 6-7 months ago,we hit it off really well..A bit after we met he had made plans to come visit me this summer while on vacation.A few months later he starts acting distant with me and wouldn't open up and tell me what was bothering him.He finally told me that a family member had introduced him to a younger woman in 2000.When we met he wasn't hearing from her so he decided he should try to find someone else.He changed his mind about coming to see me and decides to go see her coz she started talking to him again.Me being an open upfront person told him my concerns regarding this younger woman.I do have concerns about their relationship because she is younger,still studying and goes to parties..He being older is seriously thinking of settling down,already in his career etc..Well before he left to go see her he told me he was just going to meet her nothing marriage related.He also told me there would be things he looked for to know if he wanted to persue the relationship further.Anyway he goes and meets her spends a week with her comes back and tells me,"Looks like Im gonna be getting married in a year or two."Im totally blown away because I had developed feelings for him,we have so much in common,both the same age.He even told me our relationship was deeper that she had not opened up and expressed herself well to him.While he was visiting her,her parents talked to him about marrying their daughter and she told him she had no"problem"marrying him so he tells her he"guessed"he didnt have a problem marrying her either..Its not like he got down on knee and proposed..Ok what I don't understand is,how can someone marry someone they've met one time when they don't know much about that person,when they can't even pronounce a persons last name.There are several reasons why Im angry about this...1)He didn't give me a chance..2)He thinks he can mature her..3)He says she told him she is a virgin and he knows Im not...He told her about my concerns regarding their relationship and naturally at her age she probably considers me to be competition...Its just gonna make her dig her claws deeper into him..Im devastated by it..I just don't know what to think about it...Please give me some insight...If you have any questions,please ask...
I would have to agree with the first reply. I can see your deviststed over this but would you really want to waste your time on someone who could be so shallow? I know your feeling down, but believe me someone who actually deserves you, respects you(which he doesn't),and is at an adults maturity level, is out there so don't be discouraged. Best of luck to you! April http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love2.gif
Frangi and April,
Here is more...He told me if he came to see me it would be like he was unfaithful to her.He also told me if he came to see me and we didn't pan out he wouldn't have me or her.Recently he told me he was interested in coming here close to me to do his Doctorate,so being the nice person Iam I made a few calls to help him out.I got an email from him a few days ago telling me he had changed and yada yada yada..Where he currently lives and works there is nothing there for him to do and he gets bored and lonely easily.This guy seriously needs to get his head on straight!!
Jasmine30 - that is what you truly need to remember. You sound like a very strong person - especially if you can admit what needs to be done. This guy doesn't sound like he's worth a second of your time. Watch - the relationship with him and that younger girl probably won't work...then he'll try to come crying back to you but guess where you'll be...? On to bigger and better things. If it does work with him, good riddance. She doesn't sound like half the woman you are. You are brave, and it is awesome that you have the courage to understand that you are better than what this guy is offering you. I know it's hard, especially when we care about someone like this, but in the end, you will have taken the bast path Hope this helps, and please take care.