Please Help me on an "ODD" Addiction! - Open to All Other Health Topics Message Board

canthelpbeinginlove · 04-16-2003, 05:56 PM

Well, it's not about me it's actually about my guy friend. I know this might sound strange to all of you but....wait before I say this..let me tell you what happened last sunday...he (my boyfriend) broke up with me and said it was over because he was going through issues and he didn't want to bring me down with him...he's been battling through something that he can't control and it was affecting our relationship..emotionally. We've talked about getting married and saving sex for marriage like 6 months ago...resently that all changed. We started talking about it and the more we did the more curious we were (about going all the way). That lead to us really wanting to and we were getting impatient. One day..I snuck him into my room late at night...and we messed around...and we almost got to the point where we were going to do it all the way. Thank God we didn't...he stopped it...he felt it was wrong. And for that I so regret it and I know it was wrong. After that night...his emotions were stirred. well, on monday he told me that he didn't want it to be over because he does love me but that right now he needs me as a friend right now but that he doesn't want it to be over, he wants to get his stuff straight first. I'm so confused.
n e ways....let me get to the point here...he's addicted to masturbation. I know this may sound wierd. but it's a big deal to us. He barley told me he was going through this two days ago. He said he's confused about his feelings for me. He told me that he asked himself, "If I do love her, why did I keep this all from her?" Well, that's why he's confused about me he said he was afraid of my reaction. This is all on the emotional level

My question is.is there any suggestions or ideas for him to stop. Please, I love him and it scares me because i don't want to lose him even though I am...I still care for him and I want to help him as much as I can. Please help! Any spiritual people out there?!?

[This message has been edited by canthelpbeinginlove (edited 04-17-2003).]

[This message has been edited by canthelpbeinginlove (edited 04-17-2003).]

[This message has been edited by canthelpbeinginlove (edited 04-17-2003).]

Blastoff9600 · 04-16-2003, 07:27 PM

Ok first it is masturbation. Now as in addicted what does he mean by that?? You see there isnt anything truly wrong with masturbating. It is a great way to releive stress and pleasure oneself.
If by addicted you mean he cant go without it and his life is ruined from him doing it all the time then only way to true help is talking to a counselor or doctor.
But if he can still functiona nd do the everyday normal things that life requires then chances are he isnt addicted. Though only a qualified doctor can tell for sure.
So you can offer your support and suggest he see a doctor to get a proper diagnosis if that is what he needs.

mlgable · 04-16-2003, 09:02 PM

I agree with blastoff that unless the masturbation is controlling his life and making it so he can't function normally every day then there is nothing wrong with him. Masturbation is a normal thing and a good way to release sexual tension harmlessly. If it doesn't interfere with his normal every day activities of life there is no reason he needs to stop.

canthelpbeinginlove · 04-16-2003, 11:59 PM

Yeah...I heard it's normal but tell me. Doesn't it make you want to go all the way with your girlfriend since you're getting use to the feeling? Like doesn't it make you want to have sex with her? As in making you more impatient?

villagegal68455 · 04-17-2003, 01:05 AM

i wouldn't think so......he's probably been masterbating for years...he's was probably just embarrased about bringing the issue up to you...i commend him for admitting to masturbating...i was really embarrased when my hubby and i discussed it when we first started dating...i tease him because when we are separated for seven and a half months that is all he'll get...and i've heard it's normal to masturbate several times a day...it's a man thing i guess...