Not sure where this belongs.. - Open to All Other Health Topics Message Board

Hannah's momma · 10-22-2003, 05:30 AM

I've posted this in a couple places, hoping to get as much response as possible/
I suppose it could go in a few forums (OCD/Depression/stomach problems/anxiety)..anyway, here is my story:
I have a 20 month old daughter. When she was a newborn, I was very careful about people washing their hands before handling her etc. As she grew older, I didn't obsess so much over germs as I did when she was a newborn. Cut to a year ago (I believe this is when my "issue" started), we attented a birthday party for a 12 month old who (as we were told AFTER WE LEFT), had just recovered from the flu. Well 2 days later, I woke up very ill and began vomitting/diarrhea...I got it. I called my DH to come home and help care for our daughter, he came home, ran upstairs and began vomiting/diarrhea. I was so sick I could not care for my daughter. My mother lives next door, so she took her while my husband and I recovered. My daughter did vomit once while with my mom (she was 8 months at the time BTW), but I don't think she had the severe flu we had. We all recovered from that episode, but since then, I have become obsessed with thoughts of getting ill. I fear so much that I will get sick and not be able to care for my daughter. I feear that she will get sick and then pass it to me, rendering me unable to care for her. I have recently had some stomach issues and am scheduled for a colonoscopy/EGD on Monday. I know they will be normal result as I feel my stomach issues are related to stress that I impose on myself over the thoughts of getting sick. Does that make sense? I am an anxious person, and moreso now that I have a child. Every little cramp or nausea sends me reeling that I am coming down with the flu or food poisoning or something and my mind races, which triggers the stress response, which triggers the acid in my stomach to overreact causing me the very symptoms that started this whole thought process..
UGH, it's so tiresome, all the time, worrying about my health, and my daughters health... I think my biggest fear is not being able to care for her if I am sick. And if we are both sick at the same time, I am not sure how I would cope with that.
Can anyone relate? Any advice? I'm thinking of therapy, but feel kinda silly about the whole thing. I don't know, please give me some advice if you are out there and can relate.
Sorry this turned into a book, I just wanted to get it all out at once!
Thanks in advance!
Jennifer

nam0428 · 10-22-2003, 09:57 AM

Well I have a six year old son. I became very sick with viral menigitus when he was about 22 months old. I could not care for myself let alone him. My parents were great at helping me out - which sounds like you have a mom to help you too. Now I am a single mom and worry about what if something happens to me - what will happen to him. He is older know and able to call for help and do somethings himself which helps out a lot.
I understand your worry but you will make yourself sick by worrying. I have noticed that stomach viruses will affect me when there is stress and worry in my life. They get me down worse than anything.
The only advise I can give to you is that you do have someone there (your mother) who will help out. Try not to worry as much because you may not be taking care of yourself properly and making yourself sick which I have done. Speaking to a therapist could help you. Believe they will not think you are nuts - plenty of people have these fears over their children and much more as they get older. One thing that has also helped me is church and my relationship with God that I have developed over the past two years. I have found out that God will always take care of you and your daughter even when things seen impossible (which I have went thru a very rough time over the past year) God has kept me going and provided for us.
I am having a tonsillectomy on Nov 6. I am worried about my son more than me during this time but I know my parents are there and he can still see me, so everything will be fine
Hope everything works out for you and that you can find a stress reliever - exercise is a good one.
Let me know how things go with the test.
But do find someone you can talk to about the problem. A therapist can relieve a lot of your fears and let you that you are normal and properly caring for and taking care of your daughter. Sometimes reassurance helps. Especially from someone impartial.

Elliejon · 10-28-2003, 02:15 PM

Hannah's momma....this sounds like you are experiencing OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This can be treated with antidepressants. It is normal to worry a little about such things but not as much as you are and it is controlling your life. There are germs all around us so it is unavoidable. You just have to follow good hygiene but not to the point where you are obsessed about it. Please talk to a professional about this before it is out of control. Acutally, go to the OCD posts and you will find that there are people with the same problems as yourself. Acutally, building up your immune system against germs is healthy and the only way you do that is to come in contact with germs, as we all do. I am talking about the normal things we all experienced, as flu, chicken pox, etc. Please let us know how you are doing.
Elliejon

bassie · 10-28-2003, 08:51 PM

My dear Jennifer,
This has gotten out of control hasn't it? You did well to post here and elsewhere. I agree with the posts above. Please do not feel ashamed to seek counselling for ANYTHING which affects your life so much. You MUST see your dr and discuss this.
I wrote somewhere else that as a Christian I believe very much that "worry cannot change anything". It is a real truth but not much good to you while you are in this state. I also feel that you need some medical treatment (as suggested maybe anti-depressants or a calmative) to get back on even keel.
Meanwhile maybe you can put some strategies in place. For example: can you get your husband to ring you every morning at a certain time so you know you can hang out till then. Even if you feel any cramp or nausea you are still able to answer the phone. Then ask your mother if she will do the same for you in the afternoon maybe? This way you have some targets to look toward.
Maybe in between you can go for a brisk walk with your daughter in the pram and practice calm breathing outdoors. Exercise is calming in itself.
Just some more thoughts for you and prayers as well for you and others like you who are so stressed.
Keep "reporting back".

Lavender76 · 10-28-2003, 10:15 PM

Hannas Momma,
You sound like a very nervous new mother. I, too, was obsessed that everyone wash their hands when my son was born. I remember being so ill only once and I could not take care of my son, and had to call an aunt to help me. You obviously need to talk to a doctor because anxiety can cause so many symptoms from irritable bowel sydrome to ulcers to mental problems etc. You need to see a doctor and let him help you. My stomach doctor (gastrointeroligist) once told me when I was going thru a major spell that the head and gut are linked. I have found that to be very true for me. Good luck.