Mental Problems? Please help!
This is a long post, my first post here. I am basically spilling out a lot of things that have been concerning me lately. I don't expect anyone to answer all my questions, however any help you can offer is greatly appreciated.
I have a problem where when I look in the mirror, one side of my body (my left side) appears distorted. When I look at one side of my body in the mirror (using the medicine cabinet mirror to make 2 reflections) my right side looks normal, however on my left side appears... different. It's hard to explain, but it's almost as if my left side is being stretched downwards. I can't think of a better way to explain it than that... By the way, I have pretty good eyesight and I don't think it's vision related.
Recently I also noticed I've been having speech problems. I've been mumbling a lot and sometimes slurring words. I sometimes have to make a concious effort before forming a sentence. I remember I used to be a really confident and articulate speaker. People would always comment how polite and well spoken I was with adults from a very young age. Now I have to really concentrate on what I am saying...
I've never really been very outgoing, I've always been pretty quiet, but I think my confidence issues are getting worse. There are some classes I have where I don't speak a word to anyone. When walking through the halls at school I often feel concerned about people judging me. Another wierd problem I have is eye contact. When talking to someone or when I'm just in a room with other people, for some reason I'm very self-concious about where my eyes are looking. Sometimes I just keep my eyes locked on one thing, and it probably looks like I'm only half awake or something.
When I'm talking to friends or people I'm comfortable speaking with (family members) I can usually carry on a conversation without too much effort. But when I'm talking to someone I don't know well, I'm often really concerned about what I'm saying and that I have to say something intelligent.. and that I feel dumb when I don't. Also I sometimes get embarrassed (my face goes red) when someone just tries to talk to me or says Hi or something.
I know a lot of these self-confidence issues are probably pretty common among teens, and that I should just try to be confident in myself.. however I can't seem to get these things out of my head.
I also have motivational problems. When it's something I'm interested in (working out, for example) I can motivate myself to get up and do it. When a task is simple and straight forward and I know that I have to do it, I will do it. But when it comes to school work, I never seem to be able to motivate myself to do it. I always leave it to the night before it's due and I pull an all nighter to get it done. I get angry at myself for doing it and promise that next time I'll get it done ahead - but it never happens. I'll sit in front of my computer before the deadline, but I'll say to myself "It's not due for a while" and then I'll open up a game or browse the web.
Another side note - I was considering not mentioning this, because I have a feeling that I will instantly be judged on this.. but I assume that you are all well educated people who do not make stereotypes and do not take everything they are told to be true (info you hear about drugs).. Anyway, I smoke marijuana regularly. I have also tried mushrooms a couple of times. Now if you don't know much about the real effects of drugs (the info your D.A.R.E. officer told you, believe it or not, is not quite accurate) don't comment on this, and do some research for yourself first. I did extensive research on mushrooms, as I would with any substance I put in my body. I do notice that when I take a break from smoking weed that the feelings of paranoia I sometimes get are lessened. Remember it's easy to put the blame on drugs, but please consider other possibilities (I'm not saying this isn't the prob - it very well could be).
Keep in mind that I did not notice these problems immediately after starting taking drugs. A lot of my confidence issues have been around for a while. I have had motivation problems LONG before I started smoking pot. But I will say that they certainly have not helped and have probably worsened the problems. I realize that I'll probably have to quit - it's just that the few friends I have smoke pot a lot, and it will be difficult to stop.
Background Info: I'm a 17 yr old male, in good shape with no major health complications that I know of.
Last edited by Comfortably Numb; 06-15-2004 at 08:17 PM.