PLEASE HELP ME this is long but please read it!! - Open to All Other Health Topics Message Board

w00t · 10-14-2004, 06:59 PM

OK- so two days ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said that after we broke up, he did NOT want to be just friends, and that he wanted to be more then friends, but he said he didnt want to be "friends with benifits" cause hes says thats stupid.

So after that, since i didnt really know what we "were", I asked him what i was supposed to do when i saw him, like was i supposed to kiss him, hug him, just say hi, or dont say anything at all, and he said "Well i for SURE dont want you to not say anything! i still like you, i just dont want the 'girlfriend-boyfriend' thing. I think hi and a big hug would be nice."

Then after we have this whole conversatoin, he asks me if he can "please" kiss me. i just stared at him, i was so confused. so he said "(my name)....i dont know why but i just really wanna kiss you bad right now......just one last kiss please?" so we kissed and then gave me a huge hug, but i was still confused cause he just broke up with me.

IM ALMOST DONE, please just bear with me here...

I didnt talk to him the next day, and he called me after school, and was like "Why didnt you talk to me today? Tell me if your mad.....i REALLY dont want you to be mad" and then we talked on the phone for like an hour and a half, and he told me that we had to eat lunch together at school and we did that. (side note- we havent hugged or kissed since we broke up)

Then the next day, today, me and a group of friends (including him) went to a football game and it was totally weird the whole time. there was alot of whispering and it was awkward. Plus he was kinda being close with this girl, which is fine i guess.

I TOTALLY still love him and want him back so bad, but is it a waste of my time??? What do all these things mean that he said? does he still like me or is he being nice- what do you guys think?? How should i act around him, what should i do? should i try to get him back or just act like friends or what???

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ANY ADVICE!!!

barton93 · 10-15-2004, 12:39 AM

It sounds to me like a waste of your time. He says that he wants to be more than friends, but without intimacy..........I have never heard of such a thing. That would be no different than any other friend. It sounds like he just wants you to hang in there so that when he can't get something from whoever he is interested in at that moment, he can fall back on you for what he wants. He is using you!

Move on. I wouldn't associate with him at all. All that is going to do is hurt you. Don't waste your time on someone like him. Go find someone who cares about you and wants to be with you and only you.

surenitynow · 10-15-2004, 03:04 AM

uh yea he obviously wants you as a safty net...i think he wants to be able to like other girls and do stuff with them but still wants the reasurance that he can fall back on you when he feels like it because he knows you still like him.
i dont know how old you are but i had a similar situation when i was about 15 and all it did was just make me confused and frustraited and looking back (im friends with the boy now that were older) he admits thats why he did it...its imature and you dont need the heartache...
i think the best thing to do is move on, (that dosnt mean you have to completely stop liking him because thats hard to do and will work its self out in time)...but eather hes your boyfriend or not....like he said, he wants to break up, well that means BREAKING UP...no waiting around for the other person, thats stupid...if you feel like you want another boyfriend im sure you will find someone who really likes you and would appreciate having you...sence you guys are broken up he is free to go out with other girls and dont forget YOU are too... .if you can be friends then be friends not more than friends whatever that means to him...
if you can, just treat him like one of your regular friends (it will be hard if you still like him) otherwise just keep your distance until you feel better about everything...it probably will make you sad and get you down if you keep thinking about it...
things will work out eventually..good luck with everything!!!

num8ers · 10-15-2004, 04:20 AM

In my point of view barton93 has right, when him don't find one girl he will come get U, U must open your heart to new relationship.