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Old 10-26-2005, 10:22 PM   #1
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I need help! please

Ok im a 17 year old senior in High school... my girlfriend which i have been dating for a year and a half is pregnant. now i would never leave her in this situation and abortion is not even an option if i have a say in it. i am going to be a man about it but i am terrified of her parents. Now i can support my family when i graduate.. im already enlisted in the USMC and i know its not the greatest life for a family but its solid income and a place to live with benefits.. im only 17... she is 16 im so scared i have cried at night thinking about it... does any1 have any advice on how i should tell her parents and mine.. also how can i comfort her she is worried also.. please help me... Thanks in advance

 
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Old 10-27-2005, 11:08 AM   #2
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Re: I need help! please

First of all you should be comended for owning up to your responsibility.

One thing you might want to consider is to find a time when you can get together in a relaxed atmosphere like a restaurant. The best way to tell them is to just be honest about it. The longer you wait the harder is it going to be and sooner or later she will start showing and they will know anyways.

It would be better for you to go to them instead of waiting for them to come to you.

 
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Old 10-27-2005, 07:53 PM   #3
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Re: I need help! please

holy **** dude if i told them in a restaurant i would get my head knocked off in public either way im going to recieve an *** whoopin from her dad im sure... that what im worried about i dont want him to kill me or her... he is a little phsyco and has some anger problems

 
Old 10-27-2005, 10:24 PM   #4
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Re: I need help! please

I don't agree about it being announced in public ....smacks of Jerry Springer...and ya know how well those things go.
Say it to his face ...maybe if his wife is there things will go a little smoother. Just say exactly how you feel ....your scared....you know your not prepared to be a parent....your stupid and young....you need his help(make him feel like the hero that'll come to the rescue of the pathetic teen parents). Make him feel that his advice is invaluable...and then perhaps the "beating" will be less severe. Good luck and have a back up plan
.....know the escape exits.

 
Old 10-28-2005, 07:26 AM   #5
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Re: I need help! please

WoW! My best friend was in this same situation! You just need to sit down with her parents first and then your parents! Yes, tell them you guys did a stupid thing but you better tell them soon, so that she can start seeing the doctor! You need to tell them NOW!!!! keep us updated on how it goes.
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Old 10-28-2005, 10:31 AM   #6
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Re: I need help! please

How close is she with her parents? Not to put it on her because i know that it si a lot but maybe if she is close with her Mom she could talk to her Mom one on one and go from there. Every situation is different but I know that if it would have been me my Mom would have handled it better with just the two of us talking vs ganging up on her etc. I definitely commend you for wanting to be with her through this and for reaching out to others which shows that you really mean what you say etc. Having children young is definitely not an ideal situation but it is also not a death sentence and does not mean in any way that you cannot have a wonderful life. Don't let this situation dictate how you will run the rest of your lives. Stay in school and make something of your lives for your child.

Best wishes.

 
Old 10-28-2005, 01:39 PM   #7
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Re: I need help! please

Are you 100% sure your girlfriend is pregnant? Are you depending on only 1 home test or more than one? Has she seen a doctor and confirmed the pregnancy?

Be sure pregnancy is confirmed by a doctor before you approach your families.

Home tests can be false, not likely, but possible.

 
Old 11-03-2005, 05:38 PM   #8
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Re: I need help! please

Well i told my parents the other night and were telling her mom tonight... so ill let yall know how that goes... my parents knew the situation i was in and they were not mad just scared for me they didnt yell at all. they just let me know all of my options and the pros and cons of both sides. Sides being abortion or keeping it. they did not say have an abortion they did not say keep it just simply its our choice. well me and my gf talked it over and were keeping the child. we both disapprove strongly of abortion. so i will keep yall updated tomorrow

 
Old 11-03-2005, 10:34 PM   #9
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Re: I need help! please

-----------

Last edited by aecleo; 11-17-2005 at 03:08 AM.

 
Old 11-03-2005, 11:29 PM   #10
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Re: I need help! please

My sis got pregnant at 16, not by a guy that cared for her. My dad is very conservative and had anger issues back than. She told me she was pregnant, she was considering abortion, I begged her no, but she was so scared. (I was 14 at the time). She hadnt told my parents yet and one night my dad and sister was fighting, he grabbed her, and she's a tough girl so she fought back and he was grabbing her arms and pushing her against the wall (not the first pyshical fight). I was so scared the baby would get hurt I was SCREAMING on my lungs, DONT'T HURT HER, NOOOOO!!!!! I guess I was carrying on more than I normally did when he fought with her or my mom, so my parents noticed and he looked at her and asked her if she was pregnant. (She had been acting more distressed then normal too).
He wasnt mad so much as he was heartbroken...he was sobbing and felt like a failure as a parent (not a man who would cry often!) Both my parents were upset, but they used to it..it was done, it couldnt be changed. They refused the idea of an abortion.
Well, my BEAUTIFUL niece is now 14 and my dad adores her and was just telling me today about what a blessing she is and how good came out of my sis' actions. No one regrets my beautiful niece!

 
Old 11-04-2005, 04:01 AM   #11
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Re: I need help! please

I understand your situation. Although I was a little older when I got pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband) had only been dating for a couple of months when I got pregnant. I chose to tell my parents and he chose to tell his. I just felt more comfortable telling my parents by myself. Having the baby was the best and most rewarding thing we have ever done. She is now coming close to her 2nd birthday and I can't imagine our lives without her. I commend you for being such a mature young man. Just remember that, even though you're terrified at the thought of being a parent at such a young age, she is going through something right now that is ten times more terrifying for her than it is for you. One piece of advice that someone very special gave to me concerning my 'unplanned' pregnancy. You may not have planned or expected this to happen, but it did. The only thing you can do now is live up to it and even though that child will eventually know that it wasn't planned, make sure he/she never knows it my the way you show your love for him/her. Good luck.

 
Old 11-06-2005, 12:16 PM   #12
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Thumbs up Wick, You are a good person....and I applaud you!

First of all to own up to the "I got my girlfriend pregnant" deal, you are on the right track! ApPlAuSe for you!

You need to sit down with your girlfriend and her parents, and later your parents, and tell them(and yes, it is not an easy thing to say to people...I went thru this years ago.....by myself! )I knew what I had to tell my mother was NOT a great and wonderful thing...I was about 21 at that time...and going to jr college and still living with my parents. The guy that had gotten me pregnant didn't "know how I had gotten pregnant!" He was from another country,but he was acting "dumb" (In my opinion!) but, he did pay for my abortion....I actually wanted to give the baby up for adoption, to a family who would let me know how my child was doing....thru out the years...but my mother thought that an abortion was the key answer.(she also didn't think that people would "pay" to help me in the hospital and then to help them adopt my child!)..
I have mixed feelings on the subject....I would have loved to have my little one! I really would have! I was raised in an area that was mostly liberals, and they are mostly "Pro-choice" however, I was starting to change my thoughts and views...because to me, that was a" living being that I had "killed/aborted"and I still feel sad about that time,....I am now in my early 40's, and if I get pregnant, I am going to keep my baby! (My fiance' knows that I didn't want to "kill"my baby,) and also he feels strongly about adoption as he was adopted himself not to mention his sister as well! But, he told me early on,(if I got pregnant), that he would want me to keep our baby! I would love to do that!!
I love children and I am a preshool teacher! I wish in so many ways that I hadn't of gone thru with the abortion, but, there is nothing that I can do now, about it! But, for you, thank you for being a wonderful boyfriend......thank you for caring,,,,,you know, there is a bright side in having a baby/little person that is a part of each of you. You get to love and adore that person, and teach them things,and show them things and talk to them.....that in a nutshell teaches little ones quickly, the "work" that you put into loving and speaking,and playing with your baby...makes it all worthwhile,and makes them intuitive,and intelligent and more! I think that you shouldn't panic yet....but, just speak to both of your parents.,,,and get some help....you can take classes on parenting...I have seen so many of those,ask around, it will help you get prepared,and know what to expect!
I know that you are frightened, but, turn the situation into a positive...and look forward to "meeting" this new little human being whom will be sharing the both of you,and another thing, I strongly feel that it isn't enough just having a mommy there to care and cuddle and snuggle with...it's also an important place for the daddy,,,to be there too! "Daddy's " give sometimes a different "prespective" on things in life.....Daddy's of America well as other places too,(many of them) are good hearted souls,and they are such great people to get to know,and to learn life lessons from!
I very much hope that both you are going to be okay,and your baby as well! I wish great things for the two of you!! and great joy, with your new addition! Little people will give you "vavoom"! they have "tenacity" and pure enjoyment at learning what you already know...they see things quite differently,because they are just starting out! You will learn an awful lot from these little intelligent people! Trust me! And, what's more, you're gonna want to hold them,hug them.,cuddle, snuggle, kiss them,and just be there for them...teaching and learning...they are really incredible!(I was also a nanny for twenty-five years + and then some...I still love babies, so very much...they make me laugh,and smile! I also learn alot!
Wishing you health, happiness, and a whole lotta joy comin' your way!
Nightowl2

Last edited by nightowl2; 11-06-2005 at 12:18 PM.

 
Old 11-09-2005, 12:15 PM   #13
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Thumbs up Re: I need help! please

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wick
Ok im a 17 year old senior in High school... my girlfriend which i have been dating for a year and a half is pregnant. now i would never leave her in this situation and abortion is not even an option if i have a say in it. i am going to be a man about it but i am terrified of her parents. Now i can support my family when i graduate.. im already enlisted in the USMC and i know its not the greatest life for a family but its solid income and a place to live with benefits.. im only 17... she is 16 im so scared i have cried at night thinking about it... does any1 have any advice on how i should tell her parents and mine.. also how can i comfort her she is worried also.. please help me... Thanks in advance

Hi wick have u told anyone about this yet??
If not I hope that u do and if you did VERY GOOD!!!!!
I am a 26 year old mother of two small children and when i got pregnant with my first child i was 20 so i can somewhat relate but i can only imagine what your going through!! Most kids your age are just that kids and i can tell by your huge responsibility about wanting to take care of your gf and your baby with her that your on your way to manhood even faster now than ever!! You do have a say in whether or not she has an abortion regardless of what all the parents say about this but it's what u want and now that u have a child on the way the only thing i can say about that is please don't let them make u get married because of the baby i know that alot of people do that b/c they think that it's the right thing to do but the right thing to do is whats best for you and her and now this child!! now for the parents thing if you don't want to face them at first cause u know that u will sooner or later but you can write them a long heartfelt letter and throw at them and haul *** up the road and leave for a while so they can calm down!! LOL well...... thats better than the restraunt thing!! but i'm very proud of you for wanting to own up to your responsibility b/c having a baby regardless of age is soooo hard but don't give up on your education, continue wanting to go to the usmc regardless how ur parents feel cause this is for your future and for your very soon family. you have to continue with your life so don't beat urself up with this i don't know you but from your question u seem like a mature 17 year old and i think that u will be a great parent b/c of you taking responsibility of your actions please keep us updated thanks and good luck Amanda

 
Old 03-06-2006, 11:55 AM   #14
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Re: I need help! please

Wick,
You might take your Dad with you when you tell her Dad. Her Dad won't react quite so bad in front of your Dad! Keep your head up.....we are all proud of how you are handling this situatioin. You are doing the right thing.
Good Luck,
Laner

 
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