I already suffer from anxiety and panic disorder.
Monday, I decided to try and start getting some exercise. 3 months ago I went to the dr. for a CBC which was normal and he suggested I really need to not be so sedentary. So Apr 24, I went hiking in the woods with a 3.5lb Native American walking staff I made using walnut. I spent most of the afternoon out there. I've also recently made some life changes, I stopped smoking pot which is nothing compared to trying to cut back on cigs. Especially since I'm so nervous all I want to do is chain smoke and freak out. I know that quitting pot will affect my appetite and sleeping.
But Monday night after the day of hiking, I was laying in bed and felt like I "moved wrong" and felt something inside me in the left rib area move or pop or something like that but there was no audible sound (not like cracking your knukles or something). After that, I have had terrible pain in that side. Especially when coughing, sneezing or moving certain ways or lifting my left arm above my head. No shortness of breath though. The pain is tolerable ...except for the fact that it's scaring me so badly. I'm totally exhausted from my terror and I can't eat due to panic. I sleep on and off as I can only get about 2hrs at a time before the panic drives me up. All I can do is sit and cry and wonder what is wrong with me and drive my dad and bf crazy worrying about my condition. And every sensation, every little thing is turned into a new symptom and a new fear. I have suffered from hypochondria in the past. I am female, 35. There is no history of cancer in my family except for my mother who died of pancreatic cancer in 1997 at age 62. Everyone else has succumbed to either strokes or heart disease or old age at a fairly good age 80s/90s.
Tomorrow I'm going to the dr. again. I'm scared jerkless. It's like, I feel like I'm never going to see my house again or my cats or all my hobbies and things I love again after I leave for the dr. tomorrow. I've already got a freaking bag packed for admission and went ahead and procurred a stool sample for them which was black. I can't really go anyway because I'm too upset to eat. That's the trouble with having anxiety issues, you don't know where symptoms begin and the anxiety takes over.
I'm just so scared. My mom was fine and then she couldn't breathe and was constipated one day, went to the ER and never came out again. She died within 8 days. Now I feel like the same thing is going to happen to me at age 35. All these horrible thoughts keep running through my head. I am just so frightened and wanted to vent. Thanks for listening. It's going to be a long night. I don't want to waste my last night at home sleeping.