feelbad

you guys are SOOO cool.this was just what i needed today.i am scared.really scared about what is just going to be there after that block wears off.i also have central pain syndrome in both shoulder blades that started out as a huge ten at one time but has slowly desenitized itself over the past four years,this could be "woken up' if the area underneath it gets too ****ed off.i still have it in my left arm at about a 7-8 every day 24/7.it just hurts.this possibly showing back up would be about as bad as if my RSD spread up there too.i try not to think about that possibility tho.still having the "tooth' issues too.nothing there but my screwed up nerves that keep doing nasty things in that jaw.hopefully this will dissapate soon.i just really didn't want the tooth thing to even be there so thats why i made sure i got this done BEFORE my surgery but all i suceeded in doing is actually creating a much bigger problem for myself.kind of the way things go for me sometimes ya know?

my 'chair" wont be delivered til post op here at home(friday) from what they told me yesterday at the bracing appt to get my pretty new 'slingshot II' wondersling?is this what you have sammy?its a huge sucker.but mine is actually a medium,but of course a small would have been really nice as you already know.she did some manuvering to kind of get it right for me tho.sammy,tell your hubby that depending upon how bad things are BEFORE any surgery is what dictates just how bad your post op hell will be.geez.you just cannot compare one persons surgery to another,there are way too many variables that just make no two surgeries alike.you were in agony before your surgery and i am sure whoever he is talking about was not as bad as you were.the extent of damage and what they have to actually do in order to fix it also makes a huge difference.tell your hubby "until you have to have this type of surgery,please withhold any judgements".i know four people who have had the same type of surgey i am having and none of them did things the same time or way as the others.highly individual.

i will be speaking with my ortho tomorrow before the surgeryto work out all my little needs like the valium for my spasticity to be ordered PRN,on top of my "usual' daily crap and of course the MS for BT pain.this is kind of a standard we just put into place everytime i have a surgery.the dilaudid PCA will be very very nice once that block wears off.this is the part that scares me the most.i just dont know what will actually be there.having your spinal cord cut into just creates a nightmare(like with my tooth right now)for all other body systems so nothig can really be 'expected' or just plain 'normal' anymore.too much damage including my pain pathway to the pain receptors in the brain?my NS told me way back in 03 right after that spinal cord surgery severely damaged my spinothalamic tract in my cord,that all my pain signals,espescially the bigger ones will now become 'deranged" .it does explain ALOT about how things actually go when it comes to anything affecting a nerve or any cutting into my body anywhere.i am a walking freakshow now.so i do have some bigger fears that wouldn't be there at all if my body was just like a normal one?

you guys have been wonderful and sammy,your info is really priceless right now.chrissy,i do hope things are getting better or at least tolerable for you hon,you don't deserve to have to keep suffering thru this crap.i don't know when i will be able to get back on here again.my surgery is really late in the day at 3:00 so from there,who knows ya know?just don't expect great typing,like it is now??lol.my left hand just lost alot of fine motor function and of course the right hand wont be working at all for awhile,so this really should be interesting.i will try and at least pop in on friday to let you know i survived.if you don;t see anything by friday,well,hopefuly you will.i will try and make some kind of contact tho.even if its just an 'ouchie' or something to let you know,K?just keep those fingers crossed for me at 3;00.i can use all the help i can get right now,lol.take care guys.i WILL keep ya posted somehow even if i have to put my youngest online to do it.thanks sooo much for everything.i just love you guys.Marcia

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3-22-01,herniated C-6-7
11-20-01,placement of hardware for failed fusion
9-22-03,removal of cavernous hemangioma that was inside spinal cord. Neuro damage to L hand L leg and R leg.