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Old 10-23-2009, 08:14 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2
strangestranger HB User
Is it possible to change from a weakling to someone strong?

I didn't know exactly where to go for help with this, so I firgured someone here would know. Also I didn't know which board to put it on since it deals with a bunch of different topics.

I just turned 17, and have pretty much been a weakling all my life. I would get scared if someone yelled at me or if I made a mistake and would cry a lot. I know young kids do that, but I would all the time. Things that wouldn't physically hurt other people much would bruise me and I would cry. This lasted until I was 12, so even in Middle School/Jr. High, I would always cry at things that other people say I'm being a baby. I couldn't help it, it was an automatic reaction and I hated myself for it. It got to the point where me crying was an everyday thing, and people expected it. Some people said I was just "sensitive" to make me feel better. Even in Jr. High, I did cry a few times, I would cover it up though. So you can guess that I'm basically useless if someone tries to attack me or something (luckily, it hasn't happened yet) and I can't defend myself at all.

For reasons as to why... I'm not exactly sure. There could be a bunch and I've come up with a few theories. Maybe I was born this way, or have some type of defect? Although I think my mom didn't smoke or drink while she had me. Someone suggested I may have a protein deficiency... therefore no muscle, but I do consume protein, unless I can't digest it correctly. Theory #2 is I wasn't raised to be tough or defend myself, which is definately true since my parent really didn't seem to care how they raised me or if I fit in socially. Or maybe this is just the way some people are.

Anyway, the main point: I don't want to be weak anymore. I'm sick of being afraid to get birthday punches from friends, because I'm afraid they may hurt me and I may start crying and it'd be really embarrassing, especailly in high school, and as a guy, since guys really aren't accepted to cry. So; is it possible for me to become tough and strong? Or atleast at a healthier strength? I'm really sick of being afraid of everything.

I know this will probably take serious committment though, but I'd like to see a change in 10 years. The thing is, I don't know how I'd go about this. Anyone have any ideas? I'll take any advice, but I doubt I'll get to it soon. I hate excuses, but at the moment I have problems with depression and my motivation is at 0. It'd probably definately involve exercising I guess.
I just sort of feel like I don't fit my gender role properly. I know that gender roles in society are bs but I just have no confidence.

Thanks to anyone who read all this and has any advice.

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Old 10-24-2009, 06:33 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 21
falcon42 HB User
Re: Is it possible to change from a weakling to someone strong?

Have you tried getting some counseling?Maybe you could start with the school.

Old 10-24-2009, 05:11 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2
strangestranger HB User
Re: Is it possible to change from a weakling to someone strong?

Well I developed clinical depression when I was 14, and have been seeing the same psychologist since June 2008. However, this is a completely seperate problem. Unless you suggest I bring it up to him... I doubt he'd know what to do about it though.

Old 10-25-2009, 10:39 AM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 16,702
Titchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB User
Re: Is it possible to change from a weakling to someone strong?

If he's worth his salt, he'll be able to help you or direct you to someone who can. Yes, you need counseling to development self respect and a sense of self worth. Then you need some assistance in how to deal with these sorts of people who deride and bully you. And, of course, build your physical strength and learn to carry yourself properly.

Good luck!

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