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Old 05-04-2011, 06:07 AM   #1
Moo Moo is offline
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Procrastination

I know this is not a health issue like real conditions - but l find my procrastination gets the better of me and it really affects my
mental health.

i am on anti depressents but find it hard to get up and go and go in the morning. I also plan out what l want to do and yet never start anything. If l do occasionally start something because its an exciting idea l have had - you can be sure that it will not be finished. i have loads of unfinished crafts, loads of ideas that never go anywhere.

I am now nearly 54 and l know when my end comes, l am going to look back and think what a waste of my life.

Anyway this is just an idea. If something like this is on the forums, please direct me to it.

xxx Moo

 
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Old 05-04-2011, 02:22 PM   #2
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Re: Procrastination

How long have you been on the anti-depr? Have they had enough time for your body to adjust to them or are you still in the evaluation phase? Is the morning get-up-and-go supposed to come from the anti-depr? Cause if they're not cutting it and it's been a long enough evaluation, then discuss it with your physician.
Side note - my get-up-and-go is Dr. Pepper.

Procrastination -- ah yes, I remember him well. It was a heady romance, and when he introduced me to his cousin, "Imminent Looming Deadline", I discovered the brief and bittersweet love to finish papers, work projects, and even finish crocheting baby blankets before the babies actually arrived. (and the moms never sweated - bless them) [to date, 3 baby blankets are the full extent of my crafting gallery]
But procrastination also sat with me when I spent nine years of my life being with a man who would never consider me to be an indispensable part of his heart and life the same way I did for him.

Quote:
l know when my end comes, l am going to look back and think what a waste of my life.
My instant reaction to that is to ask you "How would you define a life that wasn't wasteful?"
Grandpa's unfinished sweater, now the family joke, does not define the value of my life. I'm not really sure what does, and I certainly can't answer for you what you think a non-wasted life should be. But if you can answer that, maybe that's one step closer to achieving a "purposeful, meaningful life".

And please know that you are not alone. The term procrastination was defined for a very good reason.

 
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Old 05-04-2011, 02:51 PM   #3
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Re: Procrastination

Hello to you Moo!

And to Dewshine, who's answer was so poetic and beautiful!

I am another one who loves to think up fantastic ideas, start projects and never finish. I was so relieved one day when a wise person cleared up my feelings of loss for all my unfinished creations.

He told me that some of us only need the creative process to start, and others need to finish. Both parts are perfect in their own way. Many creatives only need to create an idea in our mind and see it to its early stages and be satisfied. We actually have a craft store in our area that is happy to accept all our half done quilts, sewing projects, etc. that others are happy to buy and finish. What a wonderful place!

Do not despair for what you have not done.

I have had 4 strokes at age 43, (I am now 50) and kidney failure, and vision loss. It took me 4 years to re-learn to walk, talk, and eventually to type. I have come here for the last 3 years to help others, because that is about all I can do from my spot. You sound like a wonderful person who could so the same, and gain a sense of helping others right from your home. It has been a godsend for me. There are always folks to offer your help to, and what a great feeling comes from a little thank you!

Love and support to you MOO

Janet

 
Old 05-05-2011, 02:55 AM   #4
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Re: Procrastination

Thanks so much for your replies Janet and Dewshine. Both really enlightening to me as l do feel quite alone.
it really it home dew when you said that your man did not share you in his heart. I have been married nearly 33 years and l have long since felt that if money was not an object - my marriage might be over andhe would have left. He does say that he loves me but l am not reaaly convinced. He certainly treats me like l am some stupid, weak child who can't live without him and occasionally he jokes and says that to me.
I have been on the AD for years and believe me if l forget to take them for a days it really shows up in my moods.
I am about 6 stone overweight which l know makes me tired and slows me down. I have 4 doggs but no energy to walk them consistently, so of course they play up and it makes it harder to get enthusuastic about taking them out.

Janet - you sound so positive despite the problems that you have encountered - l love the idea of a place for people to finish off crafts and get some pleasure out of them. Two examples of how slow l am to finish things - is that it took 16 years to knit hubibies jumper ! The other thing was l was given a years notice of a family wedding , so decided to make a wedding sampler - of course it wasn't ready for the big day so decided to give it as a first anniversary present,that passed too nd the next thing l heard was that they were announcing they were getting divorced !!!

Anyway must keep trying and never give up either - huggs to you both xxx Moo

 
Old 05-05-2011, 03:53 AM   #5
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Re: Procrastination

Are you a first born? First borns often procrastitnate as they are perfectionists who just can't stand the idea that it might not be perfect...so t hey put it off and off and off.

 
Old 05-05-2011, 04:21 AM   #6
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Re: Procrastination

Actually l am the 4th child and the youngest. No 3 sister died at 13 weeks an l was a baby that my late Mum should'nt have had as she almost died giving birth tp my sister.
I would say l was babied a lot and the gap between me and my older siblings is almost 8 adn 9 years.
i am so much bettter when l am slimmer as far more energy too. Its getting tough to get going even though l have joined Flylady and GON, its just not enough when l try to do things. Of course the more the house gets in a mess the more hubbie has a moan !!!

 
Old 05-05-2011, 08:42 AM   #7
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Re: Procrastination

Actually, you are a first born. If the previous born was of the opposite sex or there are more than 4 years between same sex siblings, that one is still considered a first born. Read the book - it's interesting.

 
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Old 05-05-2011, 02:51 PM   #8
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Re: Procrastination

Moo,

Thank you for your kind words. You know, you can always come here for support and friendship, taking away that all alone feeling.

I have many long hours everyday waiting for my family to come home, and I have found so much enjoyment being able to reach out to others in the same boat, right from my living room and in my pj's.

Please never let yourself get too lonely without reaching out, we are always here. I have also been able to overcome the depression and anxiety that typically accompanies major health issues. I attribute much of that to my friends here.

Janet

 
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:20 PM   #9
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Re: Procrastination

Hey Moo i just read your post and wanted to let you know that you are most certainly NOT ALONE when it comes down to the procrastion along with your depression. There are times i think i am the WORLDS WORST because there is SOOO many days that i won't get out of bed and even with my sister living with me,she can't make me do anything that i don't want to do. I do take my medications on a regular basis(i KNOW FOR A FACT )or otherwise i would probably end back up in the hospital and that is the one place i promised myself i would NEVER go back to once i got out the last time. I have been 7 or 8 times in my life,i am 46 and i think that is plenty. Anyway i just wanted to say hi and let you know i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope to hear from you soon. Until next time TAKE CARE!!!!

 
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:05 AM   #10
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Re: Procrastination

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titchou View Post
Are you a first born? First borns often procrastitnate as they are perfectionists who just can't stand the idea that it might not be perfect...so they put it off and off and off.

That sounds like me. I'm the oldest of 4 kids in my family; and I've always had some perfectionistic tendencies. I'm also a World Champion procrastinator. Sometimes I procrastinate because I don't think I'll be able to get it perfect; but other times I procrastinate because the task just seems too overwhelming, so I just keep putting it off and putting it off, until I can put it off no longer and am forced to do something about it.

 
Old 05-06-2011, 12:32 AM   #11
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Re: Procrastination

Moo,

I have been following along since your first post, and I am so happy you have been receiving so much kind support from others who can relate perfectly to our procrastination tendency's. We are obviously not alone in this! Just that in itself is a good feeling isn't it?

I encourage you to take credit for the smallest of efforts towards things you need to do. Breaking down tasks into much smaller pieces makes the project much less overwhelming. Rather that thinking you cannot enjoy accomplishing things until you completely done, give yourself credit for step one. I have found that trick has greatly increased my kitchen work. For example, I will clear off my counter as one step... take a break...later I can go back and organize the dishes to be done...later I will soak the dishes making washing them much easier.....later I will put them in the dishwasher and turn it on. While I am seemingly doing nothing, I have done the kitchen in several steps. Each step takes less than 5 minutes. I am happy with each step.

I became severely disabled at age 43 by having 4 strokes. Since then my entire life has changed, I have had to completely re-work my ideas about what is truly important, and what I could and could not do. Of course, with that depression was inevitable, as well as amazing fear. I am now 8 years beyond my strokes, and I can say that the depression is gone. There is always happiness around us to enjoy, if we allow ourselves that ability to see it and accept it for ourselves.

I understand when we are not operating at the level someone is expecting us to, we have to re-access our abilities, and our goals. What worked for us 15 years ago, may not now. What was most important 15 years ago is likely not so anymore. We have to allow ourselves to change and find the new persons ways to enjoy life, even in the tiniest ways. We cannon allow ourselves to fall short of some inappropriate list of duties. That list needs to be over hauled for you right now, I would guess. You need to clear up what role you are willing to play in the housework, and the things you find overwhelming.

I hope you find some relief from your feelings in the words that we share with you here. I am following along, as I find this to be a very interesting subject that we can all relate with.

Janet

 
Old 05-07-2011, 06:34 AM   #12
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Re: Procrastination

hi all thanks for your help - l was in the middle of typing a reply when l logged myself out of this and somehow clicked on unsubscribe unstead of the link rejoining it. will have to sort that out. this week was a week when l had holiday from work and my daughter came over for us to spend time together. unfortunately my dil was ill and l had to look after my little grand daughter - almost 3 so everything we had planned to do was not done and now our holiday is over. we both feel down and she is going back tommorrow so l feel guilty - on top of that l had also planned on getting into a routine, but that has not happened either. hubbie more angry with me than ever !!! so back to work next week to try and regroup my thoughts.
i never considered myself as a first born actually but l suppose that as my older brother and sister had moved out - and my dad was a soldier and moving around l did live like an only child.
can we be cured of this procrasination? bye the way l am typing this one handed lying on my side with my laptop - can l get any lazier than this lol

 
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Old 05-07-2011, 04:21 PM   #13
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Re: Procrastination

Moo,

I encourage to shed yourself from the guilt and don't let yesterday's problems get any more than the one day they happen in...and that was yesterday! I can see that you are buried in responsibilities that are overwhelming to you. To have another person has a dis-satisfied attitude around you cannot give you a boost forwards either.

Is it possible to throw any of it away? I decided that I would get rid of 2/3 of my junk this year. I rented a dumpster and put in my garage and started throwing thing in. We made a family project out of it, and got rid of so much meaningless stuff. It make the whole environment in our house lighter and airier. It is easier to keep picked up, and to find things.

Just an idea for today...

Janet

 
Old 05-08-2011, 03:18 AM   #14
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Re: Procrastination

Thanks janet
My daughter is just finishing her packing so she will be gone soon (
I know all about guilt ( - l am also a "what if" person so am really cautious too. On top of that l suffer from SOS - or Scarlet O'Hara Syndrome - tomorrow is another day (

I like the idea of having a dumpster ih the garage to sort all your stuff out - l could do with a month on my own, to sort out my home but without routine - l would be back to a mess in no time.

anyway must go now as my daughter is about to leave - take care x Moo

Last edited by Moo; 05-08-2011 at 05:32 AM.

 
Old 05-08-2011, 08:44 PM   #15
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Re: Procrastination

Dear Moo,
You described classic symptoms of inattentive-type ADHD. It's underdiagnosed in females, since it often lacks the hyperactive component. Consider reading the book "Women with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Sari Solden, MS, LMFT.
There's also an older book called "You Mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?" by Peggy Ramundo and Kate Kelly.
I really hope this helps you!
~aphid

 
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