Well, I'm 17 now, and I can say that 17 is a confusing age, but can I honestly say that? Well, speaking of honestly, there is something I have to tell you. That is the honest truth, if that means anything. When I was younger, about 5 years old I think, my sister and I were taken away from our parents, because they were addicts. I don't even know if they still are addicts. Going through Elementary School, Middle School, and High School, I was so embarrassed about my situation. Living with my grandparents, sister, and my aunt. I would lie to people in my grade, even to my teachers, about a life. Telling them my mother was a professional violinist, I was rich, had traveled the world, had changed my ethnic background so many damn times, and would even fake accents, just to make myself look cool, or something. Why did I do all of this? Because I thought if the other people in my grade knew the truth about me, about my family situation, I would have been like banned from their "clicks", so forth. But now I realize how many years I wasted being somewhat fake. Living a fake life, and giving off the picture of a high class family to people in my grade, where my family is certainly not high class. I am a recovering lie addict, those are the words I like to use sometimes. And all the people I usually come in contact to, I will tell them what happened, in my "dark ages". I am working on changing the situation around, I want everyone on Earth to know what truly happened all of those years, and how much I wish I had never lied before.
I am sorry that you had to deal with this in your childhood. Many children lie about their family situation in order to feel more secure and have some control as they feel so adrift. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's protective action and very common. So do not feel quilty about it. In fact, who you live with and how they raise you is really no one else's business. So there is no need to apologize. I'll give you an example from my own life that just came up again this week....and I'm 66 now! i went to boarding school for high school. My younge sister did also. The public reason - and the one I gave this week to the person who asked - is that my father did not like the local Catholic high school - which is true - and since it was the only Catholic school and he insisted we attend one, we were sent to a Catholic boarding school - which is the untrue part. He did not like the local Catholic school but would have sent us to a better private local one except that he needed to get us away from our mother. And that's the reason we were sent away. Only my close friends know that because having to explain the things that my mother did to precipitate this are just too weird to talk about - and frankly no one else's business. So, for those who matter to you, be honest. To those who don't have a need to know, forget it.
Hope you have a great life from here on!
The following user gives a hug of support to Titchou: Litldebbie1965 (09-23-2012)
Joe, I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience in your childhood... but you do NOT need to feel bad about lying about it. You had no control over what the adults around you did, and you knew that it wasn't 'normal', so you didn't want other people to feel sorry for you or look down on you because of it. That's perfectly normal! I'm sure that at least part of you felt that if you wished hard enough, your stories would become the truth and you could at least seem normal to the people who heard them. Now you're becoming a man, you're ready to own your REAL life and to stand up as you really are instead of hiding it. I admire you for that. Take what you've learned and build a good life for yourself...
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