Trying to Cope With Illness Without a Diagnosis
Hello everyone. This is the first time I have ever posted here. I am a 49 year old male who has, over the last six months, been coping, for the first time in his life, with a serious medical condition. Perhaps the hardest part of the situation is the fact that I elude diagnosis. I put on a brave face and throughout this illness I have continued to work (when able) and tried, with less and less success to live a "normal" life. I continue to have real doubts about my survival and worry most about the possibility of terminal disability. Sometimes I wake up in the dark and feel more alone than I could have ever thought possible.
I have always said that I am not afraid of death and now I realize that I am. I don't know if this illness will kill me since, of course, I don't know what this illness is. This much is certain: I feel like I am slowly fading away. Bouts of serious illness are coming more frequently and with greater intensity now.
I ask all the wrong questions and keep hoping against knowledge that some doctor is going to pull a diagnosis and cure out of thin air. Sometimes I try to run away from being sick and work really hard to tell myself that I am feeling better. But it never lasts. I am not better.
Anyway, I don't know why I decided to post here except maybe because I sense that someone out there knows how I feel.
I hate to toss-out a list of symptoms, signs and lab results because frankly, I am not looking here for a diagnosis. Just for fellow travellers. If there are any out there I'd sure like to know.
Last edited by Administrator; 02-10-2013 at 12:12 AM.