My Mother's pain is really bad....Help - Osteoporosis Message Board

Clerklady · 04-17-2008, 12:28 PM

My Mom was diagnosed with RA & Osteoprosis in June of 07, she was also a smoker, when doing a chest exray they found a spot that was cancer. She was able to do the radiation but did not get to do all the chemo. They found on a her CAT scan that she had a fracture at T12 and 4 cracked ribs, before treatment and then 3 mos after treatment the CAT scan showed her tumor had shrunk and will continue to shrink, but found 3 more fractures at T 3-7 & 8, and the other have not healed yet. if ever. She is in so much pain the pain killers help but she can't or won't eat.
She has lost 30# and weighs 91 at the moment. In her current condition she is on predensone, has HBP and is depressed and is not able to take very good care of herself, she had fallen in her bath she either refuses or has giant panic attacks while in the shower even if some one is there. She drinks very well so therefore that is all she does, the boost, 7up and any kind of soup that she can drink but she can't eat solid food, I have watched her eat and she chews and chews but something is stopping her for sollowing it, she usually ends up spitting in out in a napkin. I guess I do not know what to do, she had some med's that she says she takes that increases her appitite but I find her fibbing about taking it. She wont take the med prescribed boneva for her bones and will not chew the calcium tablets and the other she says are to big to sollow even if I cut them up for her. I do feel for her but she does not seem to know or care how important it is to eat and gain her strength, she is very weak most days. How can I help her, I try and fix her soft foods that she can eat and make sure she has plenty to drink but I can't make her do it. I lay her pills out everyday so she can keep them straight, she is on full time oxygen, I want to retain what life she can she is 75, and very independant and very stubborn to say the least. Not sure if anyone has experienced it or where to turn for help. She makes light of it all at the Doctors and says she is fine feels good other than her back...At a loss on how to help her. Any suggestions would help me so much. Thanks...

AnnD · 04-17-2008, 12:42 PM

You are helping her just by doing what you are doing. Be glad she is stubborn and living life(such as it is) on her terms. Take comfort that your mom is a fighter and right now she seems to be doing what feels right to her. Eating is not a priority for her right now but she is trying and she can survive on liquids...if she wasn't drinking would be a giant problem. Just keep being there cuz that's all she really needs is you to just be there and not judge her. We all want the right to live life the way we want to right to the end. take care...your mom sounds like a good lady that is giving it her best.

Clerklady · 04-18-2008, 09:51 AM

Thanks Ann your note does put all back into prespective. I do worry about her and
keep thinking that I could do more. She is doing the very best she can, and I do feel for her pain, it just makes me sick to think of all she has been through and fought like she has that she might be so tired of it all and giving up. I do do see the glimpses of the fighter that she is. Doing it her way is the only way. Thanks. Does the fractures ever heal enough to relieve the pain? I just pray everyday that she is comfortable and pray that I am doing all I can to help her. God Bless.