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Old 12-29-2003, 06:44 PM   #1
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kim32 HB User
Unhappy My pain came back full force!

I don't know what happend, my pain was lessening for about
a good couple of days then all of a sudden now it's back full
force the "ultram" doesn't even touch my pain anymore, and all
i do is cry! It's just not fair!!!!
Here i was "thinking" and "hoping" that my nerve damage
pain was lessening and eventually would go away, but
no fat chance now!! :-(
All day today i have been crying because the pain is so bad
and that the ultram isnt doing anything.
i got a letter in the mail a couple of weeks ago stating that
my primary doctor who i have been seeing since last may
is going to be gone for 6 months due to family issues, so now
i got to find someone new, UGH!!
I'm planning on quiting my job, i'm going to tell
the head boss when i go back there on january 5th.
( i work at an elementary school
as a food service worker) so it's a fast paced job, I love my job
and i dont want to quit but my darn chronic pain is keeping me
from being able to concentrate and do anything. :-(
I guess i'm going to have to file for disability and be on that for awhile,
i am hoping and praying that i wont have to be on disability for the rest
of my pathetic life! :-(
are anyone of you have to be on disability because your chronic pain
is just too much to handle while trying to hold down a job???
I just hate feeling hopeless, i keep asking my body everyday why
it's doing this to me, it feels like i'm trapped and i can't get out,
do any of you feel that way also??
i guess i should just quit having self-pity on myself and just accept
what's happened to me, i guess.
last night i had to take my husband to the emergency room because he
was having chest pain and he said that his right arm was hurting and he
felt like vomiting and his vision was getting blurred, so right away i thought
that he was having a heart attack. (he's got type 2 diabetes he just found out 2 months ago) well the doctor did all kinds of tests and said that his heart is good, so that's a relief, the doctor thinks that he has alot of inflammed tissue in his chest area from the diabetes and that he can take some ibphrophen spelling? and go see his primary doctor and maybe have some of his diabetes medications tweaked a bit.
between my husbands health and my health it's been really crazy around
here.
thank god our 2 daughters dont have health problems otherwise we all would be in trouble, they help my husband and i out alot, even tho that they are
only 14 years and 11 1/2 years old.
they are about the only kind of support that i have, because my family or the doctors dont seem to understand how chronic pain can affect someone physically as well as emotionally.
well i guess i wrote a long enough book, i just wanted to let everyone know that i'm not going to be pain free as i thought i would be. :-( Kim

 
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Old 01-01-2004, 09:14 PM   #2
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Jenetti HB User
Re: My pain came back full force!

Oh Kim, so sorry to hear your pain has returned hon.
I completely understand about "being trapped in a body wrecked with pain" and not being able to get it to stop hurting. Ive got fibro plus ibs. As if things werent bad enough they both decided to "act up" since thanksgiving. First the IBS, with spasms that took my breath away. Then the fibro kicked in and they both ended up competing for which could get me to the loony bin quicker.
The fibro was full force and was gaining on the IBS, but darn it, the IBS just had to come back with something new and yup, think it did cause in the END i ended up in the ER at 8 pm Dec 28th.
That was after two rounds of cipro cause my doc thought it "might be" an infection or diverticulits, (which ive never had before, div. that is). I tried hard to limit what i was drinking and eating to give my colon a rest, but still had to take my pain pills which in turn made me sick to my stomach and couldnt keep anything down when i DID eat or drink. Anyway, after all said and done, the ER doc admitted me to the hospital with severe dehydration, severe colon spasms and a bad fibro flareup. They stopped all liquids, no food for 48 hours, and gave me bags and bags of iv and antibiotics plus pain shots every 4 hours. Ended up sending me home with a higher dosage of lortab (10/500) than i have been taking (7.5) plus robinul forte for the spasms and im suppose to see my doc next week for followup.
They also made an appt for jan 20 to see a Gi doc (?) so he could set up a colonoscopy after i saw him.
My spasms have calmed a bit, maybe down from a 10 to a 6 , certainly not gone at all tho. The fibro has calmed down tho, im not throwing up , am watching what im eating but WILL NOT allow myself to get to that point of dehydration again. IT was not a fun time. I kept praying all last year,,,,,that THIS year (2004) would be a pain free year for me and others who suffer,,,but, all i can say is what a way to start the year huh?? Hopefully things will calm down for us hon, but hang in there. Things will get better. All in all tho, i HAD TO COUNT my blessings while i was in the hospital room crying my eyes out in pain. The patient in the room with me was a woman around my age or younger. Im 49. When i went in the room it was like 10 pm and i was exhausted, in severe pain, tired , hungry , nauseated and crying. All i wanted was sleep and kept thinking WHY wont she turn her tv off or at least lower her volume. This went on till like 3 or 4 am when she finally turned the tv off. Well, found out later that day, what she was doing. She had a bone infection in her leg, that gave her two options ONLY. Have the leg amputated within a few days, or lose her life.NO OTHER OPTIONS. She was alone, in the dark trying to decide what to do. I felt so very bad the next day, when i found out my heart went out to her. I thought ok,,im starting the year off, with this stinking pain, but at least i will have my two legs when i get out of here. SHes starting out the year, alone in the dark knowing shed be losing her leg in a few days if she wanted to continue living. I didnt get her name, cause she was extremely quiet, contemplating her life ahead i guess and wouldnt even open her curtain. She kept to herself so i never got her name. But i have been praying for her since i got home and asking the LORD to watch over her and to give her the strenght she needs to continue living. I also pray that this year, the rest of us will also get relief from this burden of pain. All in all, dont give up hon. We're all here for each other and thats the best gift we can give each other. A friendly ear and a loving compassionate heart who understands.
Jen

 
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Old 01-04-2004, 12:02 AM   #3
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Thumbs up Re: My pain came back full force!

Sorry to hear about the pain returning. Getting on disability here in Alaska was imposible. Even after all the pain,my checking into a mental health facility(suicidal thoughts),tons of meds I was turned down by the Social Security people cause they thought it just wasn't enough to qualify me as having a disability. They figure there is always something I can do. So thank God for unemployment but I eventually had to find a job. Now my new job just makes it worse as the cold here really makes things worse and I'm outside alot.

Does your DR have someone in mind you could go to that would give you the same level (or better) treatment while he's gone?

I'm glad to hear that it wasn't your husband's heart. May he find some relief also as well as you.

 
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