Why on earth would a pain mgmt. clinic still treat a patient with sr morphine, no less after an attempted suicide?
My husband was just released from the hospital after an attempt at taking his life, by ingesting all of the oxy's he had left. Roughly 150 mgs, I think. All he did was mess himself up but good. Kidneys, liver, memory, and some serious hospital & pysch hospital bills.
I can't for the life of me understand why someone would still dispense narcotics to a patient in this condition.
The depression of pending divorce, (which could have been postponed or possibly eliminated with some counseling on the drug dependency issue) the thought of financial ruin, real or imagined, and the lonliness of drug addiction WITH THE DOCTOR'S PERMISSION...is still addiction !!!!!
Hi Fatnana
First I am sorry to hear about your troubles I hope that things eventually turn around for you both. What I did want to say is that unfortunetly for your husband people who arent in pain dont get what actually is going through his mind. I among alot of friends I know with chronic pain go through awful deppression and even thoughs of suicide. Its just a fact of life for those of us who suffer because sometimes we dont feel like there is a way out and that nobody understands us and no matter what we say or do can can make a person understand. Alot of people look at those of us in chronic pain and unfortunately label us as addicts. Most of us arent. We have list and list of things that are wrong with our bodies but people just cant see why we have so much pain. Thing is only those of us in pain can REALLY understand what each other goes through. If you are not a chronic pain sufferer it will be almost impossible for you to understand and it takes a very patient and loving person to even try to understand. My husband puts up with my pain management but he really doesnt get it. Its just so hard sometimes when the people you love most dont understand you and cant help you. I yet know on the other hand its equally hard for you to understand him or why a doctor would continue his medication. I have seen that happen before but I cant comment on it wothout knowing if he was sent for counseling or at least to a dr who could help him overcome his depression. Its a real hard subject to get into I guess. Pain management is something alot of us NEED. I know I couldnt go without it or I would suffer miserably. I know it must be a hard time for you right now but my advice would be to just try and have some compassion even if you feel like your past that point. Alot of us in your husbands place only want love and a little compassion and sometimes we feel so alone because nobody seems to understand us. Sometimes we feel like the only thing we have is our meds and sometimes it get to a point where we feel like our meds are our best friends cause they help us. Now when you get to a point where he is I really cant give to much advice about that. My heart really feels for your situation because I know the struggles of being in pain. I hope that even one sentence I have written helps you in some way and i am sorry if I went on and on. I am also again feeling very hurt for your situation because its such a hard one to be in. I hope you will keep us all up to date on how things go.
Mshatch
Fatnana, All I see is your point of veiw, You havn't mentioned a single instance of abuse other than the suicide attempt. Unless you have lived with intractable disabling pain and and your choice is medication or being bed ridden, I would take the meds knowing that everyone that uses long acting opiates becomes dpendent. Have you taken the time to learn the difference between dependence and addiction? Dependnece is a phsyiological response to using certan meds, not just opiates, addiction is destructive, if meds improve quality of life I have yet to meet a single addict that can say his addiction improved their quality of life.
I'm sure he's sorry that he hasn't lived up to your expectation of being cured and returning to a normal life by now, I'm sure he's sory his life didn't turn out the way he had hoped or planned. I'm sorry you felt that counseling for him would have made it posble to face each and every day for the rest of his life living with pain and no end in sight a cure of some kind. Did you get counseling for yourself or participate in any of his pain management? I'm sorry you think everyone that takes opiates to manage pain that hasn't responded to surgery and the god awful procedures many of us endure.
You can't liken the pain experience of child birth or some surgery you might have had that was succesful to living with the worst pain you have ever experienced that never ends. Without any instances of abuse, all we know is another CP patient attempted to take their life when they couldn't face living anoyther 20 , 30 or 40 years of pain that prevents a person from doing anything they ever enjoyed in the past and crushed any dreams for the future.
I'm sorry the one person he thought would understand planned on leaving him because he couldn't live up to your expectations of how he should deal with pain you haven't expereinced.
It's natural for people to have the expectation for others to recover from injuries or surgeries in a timely manner and have no continued symptoms. I have had 3 spinal surgeries, all deemed for the first two years as a succes by the surgeon, right up untill the hardware starting snapping, toggling in the holes they put lag bolts into. These people live with crunching and squeeking and crushing pain with every step. Not to mention neve pain that flat out doen't repond nearly as well with any form of treatment.
The real shame is when the spouse belives the doc when he says surgery is a succes or they can't possibly be in as much pain as what they see in some diagnostic test. Pain doesn't show in an MRI, Xray, CT scan, PET scan or any other diagnostc test.
Imagine the worst pain you might have experiencd, perhaps child birth or post op pain, then imagine that pain never ending. This is why the CP popultion is 700 times more lkely to take there own life rather than face a life of increasing pain and decreasing support from the one person that vowed to be there through thick and thin, good and bad, sickness and health and for ricjeher or poorer.
All that said, of course there are people that abuse their meds, of course their are people with true chronic pain that abuse their meds, but to discontinue all pain treatment because the pain and emotional pain of loosng every hope and dream they had won't be cured by sending them home to spend the rest of their life bed ridden. Your obviously not going to stay and care for him if they stop all treatment. Who is?
You have a choice to walk away and never deal with pain again. He doesn't.
Good luck with your new life. Dave
I just wanted to offer this to you.although i am certain that there was alot more to this whole story that we just don't know about,i just wanted to offer you a possible answer to your main question as to 'why a PM would continue to Rx strong meds to a suicidal patient".In my experience in dealing with my own pain and also doing crisis for our counties system for many years, I just wanted to tell you this.from a suicide standpoint, there are quite possibly millions of reasons that a person would attempt to take their own life.financial,emotional,relationship issues and being in constant agony every single day of your life with no hope for relief in site.and there is probably just as many ways that a person could possibly use to try and complete the act.The only 'real" way to try and prevent any sort of suicide attempt would to be in a mental health facility restrained to your bed.Honestly.i really do think that your husbands PM sees him for what he is here,a patient that is suffering from what must be some pretty severe pain.now, some PMs would just be as likely to have kicked his butt out the door forever as he did break his PM contract in quite a few different ways.But this doc sounds like he knows what he is doing here much more than most PMs do,really.just because he attempted suicide(as mentioned above, something that many unfortunate souls like us can possibly do when the pain is so totally enveloping and overpowering) Does in no way mean that he is no longer suffering from that same pain.many many chronic pain patients develop some pretty severe depression over time.i did.and am also seeing a good therepist and am on anti depressants to try and help myself deal with it.but that does not mean that i am safe from the thoughts.i haven't attempted it but who knows?given the right circumstances just about anyone you know might be subject to that feeling of overwhelming depression and the desperation that comes with feeling like you are trapped with no way out BUT that.suicide is the ultimate act of a very desperate person used to try and relieve what they percieve to be overwhelming suffering in some form.
your husband needs help not scorn right now.trust me here when i say that just by having the ms in his posession will not sway his mind either way with regard to trying to take his life this way a second time.For the most part, THAT way did not actually work now did it?considering the method he used, and this is just strictly my opinion combined with the experience i have had at talking to suicidal people before and after attempts were made, that his level of seriousness about actually wanting a completed act outcome,were most likely not high in that regard.this method is actually the number one used by people who have not been in a 'suicidal ideation"mindset for a long period of time.it is more of a spontaneous attempt that hit them rather suddenly.but this in no way means that he is not thinking about more possible attempts in possibly a different way.He really really needs to talk this all out with a professional and be treated for this attempt and the triggers behind it.he needs to come to an understanding of where his head was at when that thought hit him that taking the rest of his pills would be the best thing for him,or this could very well happen once again.people who have actually gone as far as your husband has have a much higher risk of trying it again.it all depends on many different factors.but the method he chooses,if there even IS a next time may make it possible for him to actually complete the act.he needs to find an "anchor".In my case, mine is my children.i could never ever leave them with the horror and the stigma of having to deal with the aftermath of suicide.unfortunetly I have friends from high school who did this and others since then and i can tell you, what comes after the death is something i would not want to place on anyone.
this entire situation is made much more difficult due to your current circumstances,but in order for him to be able to handle everything that he is currently dealing with, you are going to have to try and get into his head and find out just where he is at with everything.i would not recommend proceding to doing anything really major at this point in time til you know that he is somewhat back on track.sometimes suicide attempts(more often just a 'threat" of doing harm) are used as emotional blackmail,but statisticly,most are not.but given the fact they he just did not talk about it as a threat but actually took the pills and luckily,landed him in the hospital with a tube down his nose,shows that he was indeed serious.just make sure that he is seeing all the right people for any treatments.if possible, if he would let you come with him to some appointments so he knows that at least you care about his mental health and this would also let you know kind of his current thoughts and what his biggest desperation triggers are.if you two have children, i would very strongly encourge you to play up his relationship with them and how much they would lose if he was not there for them.He really needs to be able to find something 'solid' and good in his life right now to keep him anchored in this life.just keep an eye on him for now.Try not worry about his current med situation.Believe me, if his thoughts really start to turn towards another attempt,like i said before, he WILL find some way and it most likely will not involve those meds again.I would do a little research on suicide ideation and the stages of it it.you need to try and understand just what his thought processes currently are and all of the possible risks involved.you will also learn what not to say to someone who has attempted suicide.i really do wish both of you luck and am hoping that things will somehow work out in the best way for everyone involved.Try not to be too judgemental as I am sure he is already beating himself up over what he did and the effects that it has had on his already bad health.hang in there,Marcia
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3-22-01,herniated C-6-7
11-20-01,placement of hardware for failed fusion
9-22-03,removal of cavernous hemangioma that was inside spinal cord. Neuro damage to L hand L leg and R leg.
At the risk of sounding like I'm jumping on the bandwagon, I think that right now, your husband is the one that needs some help. You have heard what it is like dealing with a life sentence of terrible pain.
Now what you are suggesting is that they stop giving him anything to take the level of his pain down a couple of notches (because the pain is ALWAYS THERE).
When someone that is dependant on pain meds. and taking them for their chronic pain stops taking them all of a sudden, two things happen. His chronic pain gets much much worse than it ever was (they call it 'brightening') and he will be thrown into terrible withdrawals. I don't know what dose he was on but whatever the dose his withdrawal would be either really bad or gawdawful.
I really hope that you will take some time and try to understand more of what your husband is going through. He is at a time in his life that he needs the person who is the most important person in his life to be there to support him. Yes, you are right that Dr.'s do have addicts that fool them into prescribing pain meds. to them. But they are the exception.
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