Shoreline

Hey Debs, Sorry to hear it's getting you down. I can only imagine with all the meds that efect mood and your thought process. I'm not even sure if you would be bound by any legal document while under the influence of ketamine. You pretty mcuch nailed disaciative on the head. When you consciousness seperates from your body, you don't rember, you can' fighght back, you have little to no personality or emotional reposnses aside from the underlying depression. Ketamine could be used as a date rape drug just like fuffies or GHB or any other med that makes you complacent and causes amnesia.

AS far as accepting yu have chronic pain, that doesn't mean it's all in your head. It just means you have toaccept ou have tolive with some degree of pain. Total relief or a cure is likely beyond their ability without laeaving you comletely sedated. This s the advantage of opoiates. You become used to the sedative properties and can function while taking them, they don't cause the side effects that ketamine and Halperidol do.

AS fas doses, THere really is no ceiling n orphine, oxycodone, fentanyl ror emthadone. Demerol does have a ceiling due to it's possible seizures from prolonged use but as far as doses go. I have swithced back and forth between oxy to meth to morhne to meth and back to morphine. Oxy never relay worked well as a base med but meth and morphine did. The first time they switced me from meth to morph, they started at 200 mgs, that didn't owrk, so 300, same problem and we went to 400. At this apt I was seeing a nurse practioneer and she was giving me the igh dose speech and how these meds are addicting, yada yada, I asked to see my dooc and he completely agreed when I said at this point it really doesn't matter if I'm taking 400 mngs 600 mgs or 1600 mgs of morphine per day. I'm physically dependent and still bed ridden. SO the increased to 600 mgs a day and I finally got relief. I was able to sta n the same dose for almost a year before insurance changed and I had to go back to the ld dose of methadone, 120 mgs a day. I also have and still do use BT meds for when long acting meds aren't working and the pump isn't keeping things under cnntrol. I use anywhere from 15mgs oto 60 mgs of oxyIR to bring the pain level back down to the 5-6 range.

I haven't seen the low side of a 5 in almost 6 years. Haven't slept more than 3 hoursstaraight in 6 years. Yes I have to accept that I will have sme egree of pain to deal with for the rest f my life, It deoesn't mean it's all in m head, It's just m y new reality. Psych stuff to help except tyour new reality sis normal, but to accept it when tey aren't doing everything they can to manage your pain doesn't have to be exceptable.
Are they afarid of you laying around , unpreductive and wasted on meds? Isn't hat what the ketamine and Halperiodol do. The advantage of opiates is there is no ceiling, there is no internal organ damage. You become used to the cognative side effects like drosiness and you can function better on opiates than you could ever hope to on the pscych meds. It just doesn't make sense other than they would rather put you in La la land than treat your pain.

Whetever the msyterious sweede did during his blind trials needs to be tssed ot the window and anythigng and evrything he attempted med wise should be retried. If yu didn't repond to fenatnyl, how does that rule out all other opiates, how does he know he gave you a dose strong enough to manage your pain. What iis he using for a dosing guide, is previous experience. It just makes sense that every doc will ave one patient that neds more than others. Someone will be a docs highest dose patient and I wouldn't care if it was me or the guy after me. Focus on restoring function and qauality of life when speaking t them about pain. Askng to be able to sit through a movie or dinner desn't seem like too much to ask even after you have convincd the shrinks you understand and except that a 5-6 may be the best pain cntrol yu get. But they reall aren't focusing on pain control. Your meds sound more like a psuch patients and can only exlain that by suggesting they arn't comfortable prescribin what you need as far as pain meds but will sedat you to keep you quite. THat's not acceptable and there are other docs in your country. Contact medtronics and they will give you the nnames of PM docs certified to implant and manage their devices. Get away from these nut jobs that want t treat you like a nut job. It's just fear and ignorance anbd should anything go wrong they can blame it on a psych condition that the have created but made worse by poor drug selection.

The halido shuffle just eans your so far out in left field that you actualy shuffle around the room untill you get stuck in a corner like a cheap toy robot. These meds prettymuch disconect your brain from your body and make you compliant. PLease please get outside that lop of docs. Travel to another city, relocate, stay with friends or family, but a couple docs saying learn to live with it, becaus I'm not comfortable prescribing morphine or oxy or trying fent or methadne is rediculous. They have the meds available. They haven't seen you hit a ceiling with side effects, they just decided that they would rather dope you up like your nuts. &%% of the meds your taking could be discontinued wit the right dose of pain eds ror a pump or SCS. HOw can they justify witholding pain medication and rationalize putting you in a stupor is somehow better than treating your pain. Even on high dose opiates, you don' stay in a stupor, your bodygts used to them and you can function without others knowing your medicated.

I had a heart attack on my 36th Bday, I was taking 600 mgs of morphine "Kadina" a day and usng 1-2 30mg oxyIR per dose. When my flks drove in the next day, I was so coherent they thought they had detoxed me. I said no, this is how the meds always effect me, you would never know I take what I do, I don't get high from these, I simply getenough relief to help me function and live a life as normal as possible given my condition. That one visit pretty much put an end to my parents fear about opiates and how I must be laying around watsed from such a large dose. It just doesn't work that way. I have things I have to do, like care for my child, cook, clean etc. It's not the most fullfilling life now but It's beter than being bed ridden and contributing nothing.

AS far asd dose, He mayhave simply stopped way to soon. When tey implanted the pump. They started at 2 mgs of morphine per day. I was miserable and had adjustements every week the first 2 motnhs, then every 2 weeks and it took 6 months and 16 adjustement to reach 12.5 mgs per day. Their cacluations were 1/12 of what I needed. If they had turned the pump on and I complained of pain, what would they do in NZ, Take out the pump because 2 mgs wasn't wrorking? That' just nuts just like suggesting you didn't repond to how ever many mcg of fent they gave you, you may have needed 10 times the dose to manage your pain but never got a chance to try. I don't think the docs your seeing are ever goning to go that route , that's why I keep nudging you to get away from the docs that you gave more than a fair shot at mabageing your pain and start over with a new doc that has a different phylosophy. Thinking that because you didn't respond to the one or two doses of fent you were given durng a blind trial 8 monhs ago means you not opiate responsive??? is the most absurd crap I have ever heard. I didn't respond to 2 mgs of IT morphine when they turned my pump on. I'm glad they were willing to adjust it after going through the trouble to implant it.

I you have family that can go with you to your next apt and demand they do something and not leave you in misery at home untill the next time they have to drive you to the ER means their methods and techniques aren't working. Maybe having someone else describe what your daysand nights are like will make a difference. For gods sake, try and find a dose of pain meds that doesn't leave you doped and lowers your level of pain to a point you can live with and tolerate, and still remain as functional as possible.It may be 20 gs f oxy or 100 mgs of oxy 3 tmes a day with BT eds for when your pain spikes. That's the one thing I haven't seen them do yet.

Hang in there, The right doc may be just around the corner. If your present group ofdocs don't believe in opiates, they aren't going to refer you to one that does. So they are not only screwing up your care, but preventing you from going elswhere where somone may have a completely different physlosophy about the use of opiates and the meds they are using now.

Don't stop the meds your on now cold tureky to show them anything, It is dangerous and shouldn't be done. Better to have your family go and have an intervention with your PM doc and pull his head out of his backside.

Take care, Dave