Hello Everyone, I hope all of you are doing well, or as well as can be expected I guess!
Anyway... Just looking for some advice. As you all know, I had the situation a couple of months ago with my meds being stolen when I (stupidly) left my purse in the waiting room during a painful trip to the emergency room. I was lucky enough to have my doctor agree to continue prescribing to me...after a very lengthy shouting session (her toward me) about how lucky I was that she wasn't dropping me etc...which as I said, I already knew I was lucky. The first two refells were done in 2 week spans and there were, obviously, no problems. At our last "group" appt she went back to giving me a month long script. I thought all was getting back to normal between us, etc... and was feeling much better. Until she joined the group. Where when she didn't agree with a statement that I made to other group members ( I honestly don't even remember what it was it was so insignificant, but obviously one she didn't not agree with) and she made a VERY snotty and rude comment to me in front of our ENTIRE group, including the psychotherapist and her assistant that also sit in. It wasn't just me that felt it was in poor taste either, everyone felt silent and you could tell that everyone in the room felt incredibly uncomfortable after she said it. It was like it was horrifically mean, just rude and uncalled for. Basically it was made quite clear to ME, and everyone else in the group that she does NOT care for me at all. SO....obviously the hopefull sense that I had that things were getting back to normal between us was not the case at all. Well I didn't say anything. I took my licks like a big girl and moved on.
Well, here is my problem. For the past two weeks I have been having some significant break thru pain. Before the incident with the stolen meds I was taking 50mg a day of methadone. I had also been off of my depo which has helped my pain in the past. Right befoer the stolen meds I got a new depo shot and then when I saw her and got the lecture after the stolen meds she dropped my dosage to 40mg a day with no explanaiton. Well, obviously, I was not going to argue I was just so darn grateful that she was keeping me on as a patient. Well, at the last appt I kenw I was having bt pain but I didint' want to push anything and just kept my mouth shut, said everyting was fine and moved on not wanting ot rock the boat. Well then after that there was the incident of the rude comment to me in the group so I was quite glad I had not mentioned anything about my bt pain!!! I just left feeling dejected and hoping that the pain would level out and I would be fine at the 40mg. Well, it's been two weeks now,almost three and it has not leveled out. And I don't know what to do!
I am scared to death to even contact her regarding this. She clearly holds a grudge against me, and is not afraid to express it, even in front of other patients. So who knows what she would have to say if it were just me and her! I just don't know if I can even deal with that right now. The added pain has me feeling really run down, especailly this past weekend. And I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am just stuck and I hate the feeling.
Hi Tina! Glad to see you checking in....it's been a few days since I've seen you on. So here, once again, is another example of a chronic pain patient feeling like they are being held hostage by a pain management doc with absolutely no recourse whatsoever. This just isn't right - it's as if she KNOWS you have to put up with her and listen to her sarcastic remarks and she's enjoying watching you suffer!! I would absolutely drop her like a hot potato Tina. You have done everything this woman has demanded that you do, jumped through all the hoops and practically had to beg to be kept on as a patient and now she has the nerve to insult you in a group designed to help you get support? Just look at this situation - she has you so frightened that you can't even bring up the simple subject of increased pain or the need for some better break-through control. That's completely opposite of what your relationship should be with a doctor who practices pain management!! My friend, I think it's about time you pull up anchor and move on to other waters. Can't remember what you said about the availability of other pain management resources in your area that take your insurance. Please don't give in to this type of intimidation. You are worth so much more than that Tina. I'm praying that you will find some other resources very, very soon. All the best - KathyMac
Im sorry to hear about this. I remember reading the thread about your stolen meds and stuff.
I think you should get a new doctor if it is at all possible. Start new. Get a new perspective on things. I know that its really not that easy sometimes but keep this doc and start looking for another. In my opinion, So many of us are Pain Prisoners. These doctors have us so Physically and mentally dependant on them and then they treat us like trash. It is so not fair.
What was the rude comment the doctor made anyway?
anyway, I hope things get better for you soon. I hope you can get out and find a new doctor that will treat you better with a little dignity.
As far as I know there are NO other PM doctors that are covered by my insurance. I know that when I was first seeing my new gyno that she referred me out to a PM clinic through a different hosptial that was NOT covered by my insurance but they covered it as a one time "consult" visit. That is the doctor that originally recommended the methadone. But that was a one time thing. After that I was referred the PM doctor within my insuance boundaries to have my prescriptions filled. And that is who I see now.
I just don't know who to turn to??? I seem to have a good raport with her assistant, even after all this trouble... but can I talk to him about this without him going and tattling to her and making it sound bad? Or do I call my gyno that referred me to her in the first place. I know that if I call them and say that I am having bt pain they will tell me that I have to call my PM doc since she handles my pain....but that isn't what I want to do I guess. I don't know if there is a way they can find out WHY my pain is worse or something and get it back down again? Or if it is only wore becaause my dosage was dropped? It's all so confusing and I feel like I have no medical person to talk to about it.
I'm just so frustrated. I really felt like getting into this doctor and onto the methadone was a lifesaver for me. And now I feel just as trapped and depressed as I did BEFORE I started with this PM clinic.
We have group next week too and I'm just dreading going. I hate the idea of it. Basically I'll be afraid to open my mouth. Defeating the purpose of a group therapy appt.... But everything I say garners a dirty look from her. I get that she was mad that I left my purse in the waiting room and my meds were stolen. I know that was stupid. But I have apologized and aplogizzed over and over again and have followed her instructions to a TEE (including a drop in dosage that was done with no explanation) without complaining and she STILL is actively acting like she cannot stand me. I just don't knwo what to do. And the doc's that I see are all part of one clinic. I'm not sure that I can tell anyone there my concern's without them telling her and then making her hate me even more for talking behind her back or something. I just don't know....
If you have your heart set on leaving her, then you should certainly have a heart to heartless talk with your PM Doc. See what the problem is. Find out why the Doc cannot get over the incident with the stolen meds.
Tell the Doc that you appreciate staying in the practice, but you need to discuss the incident so that both of you can get over it. You might find that the Doc would be listening to you and you can discuss the increase in bt pain.
I know we are hostages. You need to make sure you can get an appointment with another PM Doc first. I was told that it is not Doc shopping as long as you do not accept a script from another Doc. So, make an appointment with another PM Doc and then schedule a meet with your current Doc. You might just be surprised what happens.
I'm going to have to do some research into if there are any other PM clinics that will take me around here. It's surprising, bu tthere are not many in this area. The one I am at and the one I went to for my original consult are teh ONLY two that I even know of. So the pick'ns are slim. But who knows.... I just wish that my doctor that handles my medical condition could do the prescribing. But she doesn't prescribe methadone. Although SHE is the one that wanted me on it. I think it may be the clinic she works for the doesn't LET certain doc's prescribe certain meds. Which is why she sent me down the hall to the PM doctor. The clinic that my insurance covers is incredibly picky. They will not cover anything outside the ----system unless it is absolutely necessary. So the chances of my finding another PM within that system is slim to none. I don't even knwo wehre to start honestly. I feel like a 5 year old...my doctor doesn't like me. I feel like she is punsshing me because of it. I'm afraid to tell her of additional pain I am having....but it's all true! I just KNOW deep into my guts that if I told her I was having bt pain that something bad will happen. Call it intuition or whatever... I don't know.
BigDave - The rude comment was in the group setting when one of the other ( a new guy too) patients asked us for feedback on our pain management experiences, well it got to be my turn and I gave just a quick run thru of how it can be hard to find a doctor that is really comfortable prescribing opiates, etc... and then he other doc in our group (the psychotherapist) said to our PM doctor "it looks like nyouw anted to say something?" after I had finished MY personal account and she looked right at me and said in a VERY condescending tone "I don't know, am I ALLOWED to speak?". It was very blatent how she meant it. Everyone's eyes widened. Mine I'm sure the most. She didn't like how I responded to the question. And he had asked ME. I thought we were suppoed to be open and honest in group. I guess not. And I didn't say anything wrong either. The funny part was that she started out her speach to everyone making it sounding like she was disagreeing with what I said, and then actually ended up saying the EXACT same thing that I had but in more medical lingo terms. But at that point no one was talkign anymore. Everyone was just kind of staring at her and at me to see if anything else was going to be said. I just stared at the table and fiddled with my pen. Shortly after the meeting ended. Normally people stand around and chat. I just got up and left to go upstairs to the pharmacy and get my script filled so I could get out of there I was still so embarrassed. I ran into another group member up there and they even commented on it wondering what was going on. I just blew it off because I didn't know them that well. At this point I don't trust anyone.
Sorry you are going thru more garbage with this Dr.. She needs to make up her mind if she wants to treat you as a patient or would rather you moved to another Dr./clinic. It sounds like she is trying to make things dificult for you and that isn't fair.
Dave asked and I'm curious as well regarding what the Dr. said?? If you are not comfortable repeating it here I totally understand but it might help to get other perspectives on it?
i was thinking maybe you should talk with her and ask is there anything you can do to take care of this problem ,since you may not be able to move to another dr.I would tell her about you pain all she can do is to say no..good luck kelsey
Tina: Thats what those groups are for! I am blown away by the unprofessionalism of your doctor and how she handled that. That is ridiculous.( just like when she literally screamed at you when your pills got ripped off) She just sounds so unprofessional.
It does sound that in your area you dont have much of a choice. She probably knows she basically has a monopoly going on over there. She may not even care what you have to say if you sat down and talked with her. It might be worth a try i guess if you dont have anywhere else to go. such a tough situation.
Does she treat any other patients the same as she treats you? ( like when you are in the group meetings? )
Im so sorry you now have to deal with this.
Hang in there.
Last edited by BigDaveNy; 05-30-2006 at 12:07 PM.
No, she seems very nice to everyone else. She USED to be really nice to me. I guess I'm the lucky one. My brother told me to call and ask her assistant if I will ever be going back up to the 50mg because I have been having bt pain. and see what he says. I just don't want to start any trouble...
This doctor totally has a personal problem with you. She is acting so out of line. Would it be possible for you to call your insurance and tell them your having a problem with this doctor? Maybe they can suggest a different PM doctor? In a perfect world doctors would do there job and leave there personal feelings towards there patients else where. My mother was a RN for 10 years, she worked in the ICU for newborns. She told me some stories of how doctors would talk about there patients behind there backs, if they had a problem with them. Show up drunk, some really shocking stuff. So nothing ever surprises me! I had my share of having to find new doctors. I know what your going through.
Last edited by Wingsoflove; 05-30-2006 at 05:12 PM.
Well I DID call yesterday. I talked to her assistant and VERY nicely explained how before the stolen meds I had been at 50mg and that after she had dropped me to 40mg and that we had never discussed when/if I would be going back up to the 50mg. So I tried to make it sound like it was my understanding that I would be going back up. Which I think is logical. Because my purse got stolen doesn't mean my pain got less! So he said he would run it by her and if "you don't here back from me tomorrow, give me a call". I hate that. Just call me back!!! I was very detailed in the message I left him too so I don't know why he didn't just ask her about it BEFORE he called me back. Obviously I am terribly nervous. Once again, she has me feeling like I am doing something wrong.... But I feel I have a right to understand why my meds were decreased! And if I am continuing to have bt pain then if they aren't going to increase my meds back to the regular dose then they need to tell me waht else to do when I have the bt pain. I think that is reasonable. I just have this pit in my stomach that tells me that this is not goign to go over well given her feelings towards me. And if does create a huge problem, I'm going to call my insurance company and complain I think. I'm just tired of being afraid to talk to my own doctor...
Well I have not heard anything yet so I left her assistant a message as he said to do if I had not heard from him yet today. I wish I could tell if the lack of a phone call was a good or a bad sign? Argh. I did speak to my gynocologist's nurse today though (my gyno handles everyting in my medical condition EXCEPT for the actual prescribing of the methadone, it was her decision to put me on methadone but due to the strictness of the medical facility taht my insurance is involved with only certain doc's can prescribe it and she is not oen of them which is why I was referred to the pM doc for my prescriptions). I actually called them on a diffrent question that I had but then asked if I could speak to them in confidence and when they agreed I ran thru the whole story of being bumped up to 50mg, the medication theft, and then the drop back to 40mg with no explanation of a medical reason, along with her rude attitude to me since. She seemed to agree that the medication drop seemed strange especially since it was raised and dropped all within less than three weeks. My main point in telling them this is that if I need to find a new doctor I am hoping that they will be able to help me in some way. Who knows. She is going to run this by my gyno when seh is back in the office on Friday and we'll see if she has any suggestions. The nurse did promise that this conversation would be kept out of my patient chart and strictly confidential. In her words she understood that I was afraid of "retaliation". So it seemed that she was on my side with the whole this doesn't seem quite right theory. And was definitely in agreement that is not okay for me to have to be afraid to contact my own doctor! What if something serious goes wrong and she decides just to blow me off because she doesn't like me? Already I don't want to participate in group anymore because I'm worried that she is going to make snotty comments to me again in front of everyone and make me feel like an idiot again. Definitely does't feel like an open and inviting environment again. Which really sucks because I really did enjoy group....