Tired of feeling like a nuisance when I go to the Dr's. - Pain Management Message Board

youngone00 · 03-10-2007, 12:43 AM

I've been thinking alot lately ever since I started reading posts on this board, and the more I think the more aggravated I get. Day after day I sign on here, and read posts where people are asking the best ways to approah and talk to there pain management Dr. This includes me, I've asked plenty of times too. For these Dr's, to have us so scared, thats right scared, to say something wrong, is just un-humane as far as I'm concerned. I mean, before I was in soo much pain, and living through this hell I'm now living in, I can tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart, I would never ever even think of tolerating the way I'm treated by Dr's, and even pharmacists. But they back us into a corner, and make us sooo desperate that we practiaclly in have to beg for medications that will give us any relief. I understand about the DEA, and I understand about all the abusers and seekers out there. Well, I would rather 5 seekers get what they are looking for, just so 1 person who is really in need of it to get it, than 5 seekers get turned down, and 1 person who really needs it get turned down. Although I do feel that way, I do not beleive that there are close to as many seekers that Dr's see everyday, as there are true patients who are honest and in pain, and in need of there help. Before I had the problems I'm dealing with, I would've never been able to picture being in such a posistion. I literally break down crying every time Im in front of my Dr, and it does me no good. I still go home, and think I'd rather be dead, except it would ruin my familys lives so I have to deal with it. And I'll tell you something else, considering I"m sure there are alot more legit patients that go through the Dr's office everyday compared to drug seekers, there is absoloutly no reason for Dr's to treat us like we are drug seekrs. We all deserve the benefit of the doubt. We feel bad enough. Sometimes they have me feeling like I'm doin something wrong for asking for more medication, when I'm in a world of pain and discomfort. I'm 23 with a beautiful girlfriend, and have to tell her no every time she wants to have sex because it flares me up soo much, but yet, I'm on too much medications, I should feel fine according to the Doc, who went to school all of those years. Also, I'm beginning to really really hate the word drug seeker, beacuse you know what, its awfully hard to go into the Dr's and not sound like I'm looking for drugs, when thats exactly what I'm looking for. Dont mis understand me, I'm looking for any other way they can think that can help me get relief. but so far they have had no luck. And for anybody who says "you have to try A B and C first," I have! I currently go to Physical Therapy twice a week, starting 3 times next week for a month or so to see if that helps more. No Dr ever reccomended me there, I myself asked the Dr to send me because I read on the internet and in books it would be helpful. I practice relaxation techniques and have tapes I bought from the Dr who wrote the book, once again I found out about this helping on my own. Ive done bio feedback and everything, so I dont see what else is left. So in the meantime, weather I sound like a drug seeker or not, alls I want is some relief. I'm sorry for this post, Im just tired of feeling bad about asking for relief. I'm tired of feeling nervous, and hoping my PM Dr doesn't get upset at me for going to the ER (maybe I should've dealt with the pain to save him the aggravation, NOT). Sorry again for this long post, I just had to vent. Im actually still feeling a little better from my ER visit before, and started this post last night so I figured I'd finsih it.

Thanks

Bryan

ps: I think this post is ok, but if its inappropiate I am really sorry I dont mean to break any rules, I really appreciate what it is you mods do on here!

OM28 · 03-10-2007, 05:05 AM

Good Job. Just sounds like your "pain Doctor " is a fool. Fools get into medical school ona a fairly regualr basis, jsut like anything else. PAin treatment should be multi-dimensional, every relevant study has demosntrated that to be the fact.

morgyporgy · 03-10-2007, 09:20 AM

until i found the pain management dr. i am with now, i went through a whole slew of jerks. espechially since my care started on workman's comp. it really is amazing how these drs. can make you feel so incredibly foolish. fortunetly i now have a dr. that is so caring and compassionate. she listens, she explains she even gives me a hug at the end of every visit. my mother is having some major health issues right now and one of the first things she asks me when i go in is, "how is your mom doing?" i realize this is not the norm and for that i am extremely grateful.

TraveltoSL · 03-10-2007, 11:38 AM

Hi Bryan,

I totally understand how you feel and it gets me very upset that we, (as chronic pain paitients) have to "fight" for what we need to help us with our pain.

I think in one of my posts to someone else, I said that we have to be very careful what we do to not look suspicious.....It STINKS...I don't agree with it...don't like it...and certainly don't think it's fair....this particular person was only staying on medicine for less than a week and to me, that's not giving it enough time....I think it's terrible that those of us just looking to get some relief can be looked at suspiciously....it's very sad.....but it's unfortunately very true....

It sounds like we are alike, (even though I am much older...haha...)...just had to get your goat since we tease you about being, "the young one"...but totally get what it's like being in front of a Dr....hurting, vulnerable, and TOTALLY at their mercy....it's so degrading.....to me at least.....I am a very secure and confident person in every other area of my life but I seem to be a different person in front of a Dr....I mean I can talk to any CEO of a company, even the President of the US!!!! but......why do I get seem so intimidated by a DR????? I have learned over the past 6 years to write everything down and if a Dr. is not willing to listen to me...I mean really listen and find a plan that fits just me...then I will walk out and start over....plain and simple....even if it looks like I'm Dr. shopping....but I'm NOT taking medicine from each one.....just an initial appt. to see how they will want to treat my whole body/mind...

Like morgyporgy, until I found the Dr. that I had now, I was very miserable...severly undertreated for my pain, and life was very bleak....During my second to last surgery in Dec. 2005 (last one was Nov. 2006), my then, AWFUL surgeon would not give me one thing the day after the surgery to take home for pain....His quote was, "Well, even i don't take a Tylenol for a headache"...."So you shouldn't need anything"....WHAATTT....Like you, and many others, we have run up against the most cruel, inhumane, demeaning, -and un-informed Dr.s.....

I can't remember if you said that you cannot try to find another pain mgmt. Dr??? If you can, even if it's driving far, I would keep searching....Sorry if you've already told us but I haven't gone back to read everyone of your posts....

Again, it's taken me over 6 years to have found the most amazing and caring Surgeon and Pain Mgmt. Dr....I burst into tears in their office the first day I saw them January of 2006....They hugged me and said, "Poor girl, you have been treated so badly and have been in so much pain".....They also told me that the surgery done Dec. 2005 failed within the first month after and he did a terrible job!!!.

So now, after this last, very extensive cervical re-fusion going in from the front and the back with so much metal I get to carry around a fun card to show at airports (since I travel a lot) since I make the x-rays go off...LOL! And a really good, for me, regimen of pain medicine, therapy, PT, healthy eating, and sleep, and wonderful Dr.s who work together to help me live the best life possible...

I know that you suffer from a totally different problem but will pray that you can find a caring Pain Mgmt. Dr. who will listen and help you live your best life possible with less pain....

So, a big ARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! because of what you're going through

Blessings,
Ingrid

LottyLiz · 03-10-2007, 01:38 PM

When I first moved to KY, I started looking for a new doctor. I didn't have any insurance so it was quite a task. On top of my back issues I have chronic kidney stones (one or two every couple of months). Anyway a local service org. made me an appt with an outreach doctor who charges on a sliding scale. When I went for the appt, the doctor says to me "We don't treat people like you." He referred me to the pain management center at the local hospital, but they wouldn't take me because I had no insurance. So I called his office to find out what I should do next and I was told, no lie "I guess your just s#%t out of luck".

A few months later I was in the emergency room for another kidney stone and I was crying my eyes out. One of the sweetest nurses I've ever met came in a sat with me. When she found out that I didn't have a family doctor she referred me to her doctor, although what she did was totally against hospital policy.

Anyway, I made an appointment and found the most caring compassionate doctor. He immediately put me on the same meds that I was taking when I left SC. He ordered and MRI of my neck and back. When I went back in for the results he told me I had serious problems, but that he would work with me. He has worked to get me on the right combo of meds, PT and he helped to get me on SSD. Because of my doctors statement and the list of things I can not do anymore, the judge ruled me disabled without even doing a hearing.

I gues my point is that there are a lot of inconsiderate boobs out there, but there are some really fine, compassionate doctors as well. Sometimes it takes a while to find one, but it can be well worth the search.

I am glad you finally got some temporary relief. It is awful to be in such pain and to feel like no one cares.