How do you cope? - Pain Management Message Board

lavenderlily13 · 03-14-2007, 02:42 PM

Hi there,

I'm new to the group, but unfortunatly not new to chronic pain. I am so lucky and blessed to have a supportive husband, two great kids and an understanding and compasionate doctor, and am able to obtain the meds I need in order to manage my chronic pain due to endometriosis. I know I'm so fortunate to have these things. I'm able to stay at home and sit with my heating pad and take my meds, but how do I make peace with what I thought my life would be like, and what it was before this beast took over my life??? How do you cope with the emotions? Any responses are appreciated.

thanks,

~lily

Fabrashamx · 03-14-2007, 03:50 PM

Hi Lilly, and welcome! I think everyone has their own way of coping, but the biggest three for me are faith, family, and humor. I think spirituality is much more important than religion, And a personal thing that each person must come to in their own way, and I certainly do not think my way is the only way, I try to listen and learn everyday and I hope I can do that all my life.

I also have a very strong marriage, my husband is my best friend, we've been together for 26 years and the rule is only one of us gets to be bonkers at a time, this is my week, lol! My sons are 22 and 19 and both working and in college, but they still live at home and are wonderful people who I enjoy spending time with, they pitch in and help with a lot of stuff around the house, and although they are often off with girl friends and friends, they always call and see if I need anything when theyre out. I am close to my parents, and have several friends that are like sisters to me, that are always there to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on.

I have never thought it was good to take yourself too seriously, so I can usually see humor in even some pretty grim situations, and I hope I will always be able to laugh at myself and my sometimes spectacular stupidity, lol
(Looking all over for my sunglasses when theyre on top of my head would be an example lol)

I dont know who said it, but there is a quote, 'Man plans, and God laughs', I think thats true for everyone, but it seems tailor made for CPers. This is not the life we planned or wanted, but if we try and remember its all about the journey and not the destination, I think we'll be okay. and sometimes a pity party is okay too, I'll be the one in the corner crying into my haggen-daas, lol.

Great post, I cant wait to see what others have to say on the subject.

Hugs, Fabby

rayefaye · 03-14-2007, 06:05 PM

Hi lily

for me I had to learn to deal with a lot of changes early in life. My life changed in a matter of seconds when I was 19, I'm 43 now. I had a bad car wreck and suffer some bad injuries that left permanent damage. I was going to college for Accounting and was doing real well but ended dropping out due to the damage I had suffered to my hands and my right arm( I'm right-handed). But that accident taught me a lot of things about life especially never take nothing for granted and money is everything. All the money in the world won't replace my arm and hands back to the way they were before. Especially my left hand where the turn signal with all the way through it and left a whole in my left hand. But I have always found a way through family and friends to laugh try to have a good time and just enjoy what you have. I was diagnosed with RSD(reflex sympathetic dystrophy) which involves the nerves and I suffered a lot of nerve damage in the wreck. The way I deal with it is simply find some kind of hobby that I can enjoy. I like to read and plant flowers in my yard during the spring and summer. I have two grown daughters who bring me a lot of joy and all their drama to go with it. I have a wonderful husband who helps me out because I'm limited to what I can do. My left arm is frozen where my left hand touches my shoulder and the only time I can stretch it out is to put my clothes on. But I just try to stay positive and enjoy the good things in life. I wish you well and hope you get over this little bump in the road soon.

lavenderlily13 · 03-14-2007, 07:46 PM

hey,

I guess I should really keep perspective and just be glad that I don't have to go through the same difficulties other posters have with getting meds. I'm so sorry this situation with us pain sufferers seems to get worse and worse as far as the restrictions on recieving pain meds from providers. I will count my blessings that my doctor found a way to keep treating me even with the pressure and scrutiny he has faced being one of the brave doctors who is still willing to prescrible narcotic pain meds to patients who truly need them.( I should probably not go into detail about how he was able to keep me from having to go back to a pain clinic like before, that was awful!!)

Also, I have a neighbor who is fighting for her life against cancer, and if I keep my focus on her, and others who are suffering, and not able to really get the treatment they need to feel better, maybe it will just take my mind off of my own problems. I just feel selfish because of how tired I am so much of the time, I don't feel like I can really be there for my daughter especially because I'm using all the energy I have in order to stay positive and fight the pain. If I let it, it just consumes me, even with the vicodin, it's always there, waiting for the middle of the night to slice me into pieces when I wake after my meds have worn off. No one can really understand what that is like if they haven't been there.

Anyway, thanks for listening, and good luck to those of you who are still trying to find ways to get the meds you need, I have been where you are, it sucks. Stay positive, and network, talk to others in your community, find out where they go, that's how I found my Doctor, he's a godsend.

take care,

~lily

ibake&pray · 03-15-2007, 08:08 AM

Welcome Lily,

I too am from Minnesota. I'm from Mpls. my hubby hails from St. Paul..try not to hold it against him..we don't! LOL.

How do i deal with the pain? Last month my surgeon told me that I will live with some degree of pain the rest of my life due to my back breaking when the got me out of bed after my fusion...long story. I have two choices...I can sit and feel sorry for myself-which is allowed, within limits and only on certain days of full moons colored purple...Or I can pick myself up, suck it up and make the best of what I have.

I am alive, I have our first new grandson that I can hold (but they won't let me carry,another issue), an adorable husband, two daugthers that I gained through marriage, two sons that managed to grow up into great human beings and bring us those daughters, three dogs, a fantastic oven for baking...and a warped sense of humor. I also have a pain managment doctor who borders on sainthood and who's only goal in life is to make me as pain free as possible.

You have two choices in life. You can see it from the bright side or from the gloom side. My mother who suffered from back troubles all her life used to say..there is no sense complaining. It doesn't take away the pain, it doesn't make me feel better and it doesn't make you feel better either.. there you go.

Life is what you make it.......make it good.

Jill