I don't mean to complain but I am so frustrated. I just straightened out all pain med needs, my gp had agreed to take them over and today my general practioner told me that she had some bad news for me. She is leaving in two weeks. GREAT!!
I started bawling my eyes out. I am so upset and am worried about what is going to happen. How do you handle dealing with all this every day???
My primary is going to try and find someone else in the practice to take care of my meds but I am really scared. It looks like I need to have major surgery again on my spine and it does not look like pain free is going to be in my vocabulary for some time if ever.
I think guys I may have to move to pain management and it really is riping me apart. I don't want to end up like my brother and permanently on medicine due to spinal problems....I just want to get better.
Today we were going to move to long lasting meds and now my doctor said she does not think it is a good idea because I will be facing major surgery and a lot of med changes. She thinks I should just remain on short acting.
Thanks for listening....I just needed to get it all out.
I am really sorry that you having these worries. You made a statement that i would like to address. You said you did not want to have to be on meds for the rest of your life, you just want to get better. I understand this statement but we really all feel that way. Unfortunetly you may have to resign yourself to the fact that this may be just the way it is. It sucks!!! I wish i never hurt and never had to take or buy another pill but it took a while for me to just quit fighting it and accept it. Unfortunetly once back issues begin, they usually stay for life.
It does sound like your doctor is trying to help you and let me say that my PM doctor has been a GODSEND for me. He has done more than all my doctors combined. I know very well the fear you are feeling and this is a great place to get the emotional support we all need. Although it's hard sometimes, try to think positive that your doctor will find someone. Sometimes people in our position can be over-whelmed with all this. Hence the depression that tends to go with chronic pain. I really hope things work out for you. Prayers, hugs, and thoughts are heading your way. FEEL IT? LOL god bless and gl, morgy porgy
Your absolutely correct I am overwhelmed and I don't want to admit that I am moving onto another stage of my back problems accepting that I may have pain for the rest of my life. It sucks!!!
I guess I just need to pull myself together and get thru this next surgery praying that my problems will somewhat be resolved.
I am just super frustrated that I thought I had my pain management all straightened out and then my GP is leaving. You are right I will trust my GP to handle it for me. I just am scared about being left in the lurch again with no meds and tons of pain. Is this feeling normal??
pepper, honestly my heart goes out to you, it all gets very emotional. Noone wants to have to worry about dealing with all the pain meds stuff on top of dealing with the pain itself & the worrying about feeling better. It gets overwhelming @ times & I bet everyone says that. My GP for the first time today actually came out & said you are a chronic pain pt. & have to find a doc who can manage you meds & injections. Really brought it home for me. In your shoes it is normal to worry, I get a nervous wreck when it comes to my meds having to be dealt with, hate them, everything about them, but need them & I will tell you I don't think I have cried so much as the last few months, dealing with all these doctors & pain. I want the same, just to be pain free without the meds. Even most doctors don't understand, sounds like you have a good one & she will make sure your needs are taken care of. Hang in there! Sammy
Thank you Sammy. I think I am going thru acceptance of being a chronic pain patient and I am dragging my feet. My sugeon says I have problems that can be corrected and I feel like I have to take a chance but at the same time I am worried that it will only cause more problems.
morgyporgy-- don't take this wrong but I think your honesty and frankness has opened my eyes. Your post struck home with me and has made me think all afternoon. Thank you for your honesty.
Endo has been fixed since 1992. I continue to have back problems. Fusion in 1982, lived happy life, injured back in 2004, laminectomy May 2006, 2nd fusion Feb 2007, Herninated disc April 2007, and now we know I have a hardware problem causing nerve pain but we may have to fuse another level.
Oh my. I sincerely hope you did not think i was being mean. I swear to you i wasn't. I just wanted you to understand that I and the majority of us here know exactly how you feel. I went from working full-time and playing softball year round to doing none of that now. It all came up on me so damn fast and i thought i would die. Not necessarily from the pain but from the realization that my whole life and every aspect of it will never be as it was.
I would not take my pain meds because i was convinced that it would go away if i didn't acknowledge it. It didn't. I would try doing housework, walking, and all that physical stuff because if i did it wasn't real. It was.
It finally took my family sitting me down and telling me how i looked like hell, i walked like an 80 yr.old, i was not sleeping, and most off all i would just cry if you looked at me wrong. They kinda scolded me and begged me to please accept what the doctors are saying and take the meds and follow their directions. I broke down that night and prayed. I am not a religious woman by any means but listening to my husband and children love me enough to hurt me with honesty was a godsend. I take my meds, i accept i will never be pain free, i do what i can when i can, and my life is wonderful. Except for the physical part of me, everything else is back to normal.
It's so hard to say what you feel and portray correctly on the computer. If i had been able to sit across from you while saying what i did, please believe i would have held your hand and cried with you. If my words hit you wrong or hurt you in any way, please oh please know that that was not my intention at all. I suppose i just feel at this point and time in my life that you are better off to expect the worst and pray for the best. That's all you can do. I do hope these words clarify what i meant and i really do feel for you and everyone else here who has to accept this thing called chronic pain.
Look at someone in chronic pain and you will see STRENGTH. Do not the physical fool you. God Bless, morgy porgy
Oh, I did not take it negative at all. I took it as being a word of advice straight from the heart and believe me I need and want to hear advice. I think you words opened my eyes to see that I may have a permament pain issue from my spine.
Right now I am freaked about my meds. I went two weeks in the worst pain of my life and did not have meds. I am just scared because my pain has been unrelenting for over 4 weeks. If I don't take them every 4 to 5 hours, my pain gets totally out of control. On meds, I can't walk to the mailbox (300 ft) and back without having to lie down for over 1 1/2 hours from the pain. My surgeons solution is not to do it. RIGHT!!
I did not like my first PM Dr. Practically he gave up on me getting better and he thought that prescribing numerous epidural injections, nerve blocks and tons of PK - the only help I got from him.
As you know, I got myself an excellent PM Dr (had to go to NYC for this, but who cares at this point?) and what a difference! Who would think that PM Dr can send you for MRI of your brain? I was suprised, but he said that they are looking for demyelinating disease which usualy starts at the brain and spreads all over your body and causes severe pain all over the body. Not curable, but at least they know what are they dealing with. Instead to send me to no- end spinal shots, they know now how to help me; epidural shots make more harm in my case (meanwhile i had 9 of them without any relieve, but more pain) since they have preservatives which causes Arachoiditis
I believe if you find a good PM who will listen to you - you will be in a good hands. My best wishes on it.
one moment at a time..... ( as far as handeling it)
i am sure the fear of surgery/afterwords is over whelming not sure of out come as well. One of the best things i did a few years ago was get multiple opinions. I know now the surgery did not alter what was i going through, and the recovery time was not was suggested by surgon.
If you can get therapy i would recomend it . Sometimes while talking doesn't solve anything it helps re train our head noise to reconize what is going on and accepting it better .
Over on the back boards it is often stated about learning to live with the "new me". That is the hard part. Not just dealing with the pain but re learning what we can do and accept what we can and cannot do.
While we here cannot take away your fears, or hurts there are wonderful folks here that have been through tons that can at least lend an ear and a shoulder and a soft hug. Also venting helps too.
Good luck to you and i sure hope you get some answers and relief