butrfligirl28

I thank all of you for being a support for me while my pain has been so out of control, and having a hard time talking to the powers that be at the pain doctor.

I went in today with my fiancee. The nurse talked to the both of us for about 45 minutes. I told him everything. I told him that I have done to help my pain, and tried everything I know to do, and that my pain is out of control, and controlling my life.

I stated that I am missing work, and not being able to do my job well, that I have had to stop even the simplest tasks at home, like cooking (which I love), doing laundry, washing the dishes, ect. I explained that we just bought a house, and when we went looking for furniture, after two hours, I was in tears. My fiancee and I haven't been on a date in months......I just can't tolerate it.

So he says that I am a determined person, and that I am coping with the pain. I told him most days I am at a 7 on the pain scale, and that the oxy lowers it about 30% on good days. He said, "well what do you think it would be if you were taking nothing at all?" I was dumbfounded. I said, well then I guess it would be 0%? He said that everyone has bad days, and I just need to adapt my activity level. I told him that I have adapted so much, I can hardly do anything at all. I need to work, and that I don't want to run marathons.....I just want to help around the house, enjoy buying furniture and painting my first house, cooking a meal every once in a while.

Then after looking at Lyrica (tried it, couldn't tolerate it), Neurontin (didn't help), procedures (after giving me chemical meningitis the last time, no way), and already being on Cymbalta, he says, "Well you're already on an extremely large amount of medication." What?? I take Oxycontin 10mg, and Percocet 7.5 mg.....the oxy 3 day, the percocet 2 a day. Then he actually tried to say that my only and best option now, was a PAIN PUMP. WHAT????!!!!!! Is he crazy??? I am no where near "the end" of options! They have never even tried me on a different pain med!!!

Finally, he just says, well, we'll keep you on the meds you're on, and see you next month. Keep hanging in there, you're doing well. Oh by the way.....he also told me that I am making my pain worse by smoking, so I should stop that too.

I am at my wits end. I just walked out of there so frustrated, sad, angry, and hopeless. So that's the result. I got nowhere, and my pain will continue to be out of control, and I will just cope as best I can. I don't know what else to do. Thanks for listening.

Butterfly