Ladies, would like your thoughts, no offense gentlemen - Pain Management Message Board

sammyo1 · 04-13-2008, 07:28 AM

As I said please don't take offense gentlemen, in fact feel free to of course chime in.
This has really been bothering me & I thought I would get some opinions.
After thinking back because of having to once again answer a hundred questions for PT, I have been reminded of how women can be kind of blown off or judged quickly by doctors.
When my problems started they were very complex & I understand that, but I always felt that my complaints were never taken seriously. For example although I complained of pain in certain area's never received a really detailed exam of that area. For example even though I had pain in the ribs & breast area they never fully examined the area. Always a guessing game, for that matter after several visits no x-rays were even done, & at that time I was going in once a week & could not even touch the area. In the beginning it was painful to breathe there for my breathing was bothered.

Time after time anxiety or depression was brought up. I can't even tell you how many visits I made in back then, & was seen by two different doctors.
What makes me think this besides talking to other women & seeing this very subject appear on the news in the past, is my husband had the same doctor at the time & I just know if he went in complaining of the same symptoms he would have received a much more detailed exam. In fact if he goes in & says his foot is bothering him, he walks out with a script for an x-ray.

I have to stop myself from thinking about it to much, because I get furious.
I honestly feel I am in CP because this was never taken seriously to begin with. More then one doctor involved here.
The worst part is if a new doctor asks for all my records to be transferred, it makes me look like I was doctor shopping, even though only once did I come out & ask for something stronger for the pain, & that was after months & months of suffering. Geeze, even when the proof was right in front of their eyes, the gagging, wanting to vomit while in the office & vitals going bonkers I still had a hard time getting doctors to treat the pain, this was the third doctor.
I can only imagine what is in some of their notes.
As I said it makes me see red. Even now I am pounding away alittle harder on the keyboard (ha).
I know others go through this, infact my sister in law went through a period where she kept going in, had pain, did not feel well & so forth, & yes depression was brought up & they prescribed her something for it. Well shortly after relocating to another state & going through having to still get someone to take her serious she was diagnosed with cancer, by then well, alittle to late, she passed away just recently. I know, & yes I know she had it all along. Makes me want to scream at these doctors, & tell them look what can happen. Ok I am in tears now.
So ladies give me some opinions & gentlemen to of course, & tell me how would you deal with something like this? Sammy

ms_west · 04-13-2008, 07:38 AM

I have been blessed and have not really experienced this but I wanted to respond and tell you my heart goes out to you for your loss and having to cope with being judged unfairly. I can't imagine how irritating that must be. Take care my friend.

sctttrk · 04-13-2008, 07:52 AM

I know that you wanted ladies to respond, but I can relate to not being heard at the doctors. I am a 37 year old man, who has chronic knee pain that has put me out of work and sent my mood on a roller coaster ride. I am currently going to see my "SEVENTH" doctor!! I have been to my family doc, a 3 rhuematologists, and an orthopedic. Both of them did not even take the time to listen or care. My x-rays and mri's are normal and once the doctors see that the just say go to physical therapy and it will take care of itself. Well they are wrong! So I gather up my records and pictures and move on to another doctor. The last one I saw was wonderfull. Sat down and listened, took notes looked "outside the box" and tried to find a cause, not the solution. He was a pain management specialist, and recommended another doctor I should go see. He even called the doctor while I was in the office and made the appointment. My point in all this rambling is do not stop looking. Turn over every stone, knock on every door. Make the doctor sit down and listen, go into that office with conviction, and don't let them go with out an answer or another place to turn if they don't know how to help. When it comes to your health, do not play the nice card, until you are satisfied that they have done everything they could. I hope this helps, take care.

skych · 04-13-2008, 08:15 AM

Sammy,

I am with sctttrk, turn over every single stone!!! "BE your own advocate" until someone listens.

When I was on workers compensation for my arm injuries I had a similar experience. I was complaining of severe elbow pain after the first and second arm/wrist surgeries. The doctor was not listening. I would cry form the pain. Then when the second surgery ended up failing, the elbow pain was pushed to the back burner once again. In all the elbow was not even addressed until 2 1/2 years into the whole ordeal, and then it was a long process to get to the actual treatment/surgery part. In fact after the 3rd wrist surgery it got to be so bad I was beside myself. When I finally complained to the upper extremity specialist he said to me that he was not allowed to really comment on it because he did not have autorization to access it. I was flabberghasted!!! I had to go through a huge fight with workers compensation to fianlly have them approve having the elbow looked at. In the end the care for the elbow was delayed to the point that I have permanent never damage.

I understand that workers comp junk and why my doc at the time could not comment, but in your case the insurance is going to pay and there is not so much "red tape". I think that sometimes doctors do not look at the entire picture. Sometimes seemingly unrelated symptoms can actually be related. It takes a very compassionate and up-beat doc to see outside the small box and want to investigate.

It is amazing how much this actually happens. I am so sorry that this has continued so long for you.

I still agree with scttrk, please do not give up. Maybe you want to find a woman doc to see if you have a different experience. Although like I said the doc has to be one that is willing to try and fit the pieces of the puzzle together.

There is still the chance that the ribs could be directly related to the shoulder pain. It is weird how one thing can affect another area of your body. It still may be that when that shoulder gets feeling better and stronger that the ribs will start to feel better to. It is somewhat of a catch-22 because your working to make that shoulder stronger and the other pains are interfereing with the progress of the shoulder recovery. I really understand that because it was not untill my elbow was treated that I could actually fully recover from all the extensive surgeries on the wrist. Once that was helped I could really focus on the PT and strengthening of the wrist.

Hang in there Sammy. I am here to support you in any way I can.

Chrissy

cmpgirl · 04-13-2008, 12:18 PM

Hey Sammy: Amen, Amen, Amen! I have been through more than my fair share of dismissive docs, PA's etc. When I first started trying to find out what was wrong with me, I was 38 years old and I went through everyone, from my primary, neuro, neurosurgeon, ortho, and a PM guy here in my city.

I was looked at and treated as if I were just some hysterical female or a bored housewife. I was even told by the PM I first saw..."You are almost 40 you know". I looked right at him and said, "yes, I know. But I also know that the average 40 year old does not feel like I do, when I literally crawl out of bed in the morning!" I could have slapped him!

I've been told that I was depressed, getting older, had to just "slow down" and not try to be a "super mom". I even had an EMG scheduled with the first PM I saw, and when he walked into the exam room, he said, "Oh, lucky you! I've just come from the dentist and I'm in the mood to inflict pain". (This was the needle kind of EMG and I swear at one point, he litterally jabbed one of them in the bottom of my foot. I darn near jumped off the table! He actually laughed!

As you can see, my friend, you are not imagining this. At least not in my opinion. I just kept searching for someone to truly help me and insisted that my primary refer me as needed. I know I have been spoiled by my current PM. He always treats me with dignity and rspect. He always listens to what I feel I need. But, with my recent dealings with my primary's office during this whole blood pressure thing, I am slowly getting the old pain in the butt me back. (as I've stated in my last thread).

God Bless Sammy and be strong. Be your own best advocate and don't take no for an answer. Many hugs, cmpgirl ((((Sammy))))