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Old 04-28-2008, 07:48 AM   #1
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Struggling with meds

Do you ever get fed up with taking meds even thou you are in alot of pain? Right now I am going thru a bad spell and I need my breakthru meds but I am trying so hard to cut back on them. Internally I am struggling with this and I am sure that I am not the first person to struggle with it.

I know if I need them I should take them but gosh darn it I am fed up with it!!

 
Old 04-28-2008, 08:40 AM   #2
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Re: Struggling with meds

Hey Pepper: I know how you feel. I have looked in my med box at times and between the pain meds and all the others that I have to take daily, I could open a pharmacy.

I know in my case, I spoke to my PM a while back and told him I was concerned about the amount of Tylenol I was consuming every day. I take Vicodin 7.5/500 for BT. Even though I am under the max amount, I have taken them for so long, I can't help but think it has to have some effect on my liver, eventually.

My PM increased my Oxy from 20mg 2x/day to 20mg 3x/day and it allowed me to take at least one less BT a day. He wants to increase again, when I see him next, in the hopes that we can lower the BT consumption even more.

The catch 22 in all of this, is that you can't put yourself in a position where you are chasing your pain all the time. If you don't take the BT, when you should, you end up in more pain. If I remember correctly, from other posts, you have a pretty good PM, that seems to work with you. Maybe you could discuss an increase in the LA meds.

Hang in there, my friend. Someday, maybe someone will figure out a way to help us all without having to take so many meds every day. Til then, I guess we just have to make the best of it. God Bless, cmpgirl

 
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Old 04-28-2008, 08:48 AM   #3
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Re: Struggling with meds

Diet,
as you know I feel the same way. I am glad we have PK to keep our pain under control, but deep down I am so unhappy taking them.
Each time I take my pills (I have plenty becides opiates) I don't feel good about it. Last night I didn't sleep from pain and had to take BT in a middle of the night even though I try not to do it. I was happy an hour later when pain was not as sharp, but i wish to have another choice to deal with pain.

I understand where you are coming from...

Take care and feel better, sweet heart!

 
Old 04-28-2008, 09:01 AM   #4
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Re: Struggling with meds

Between my pain meds, my BiPolar meds, and meds I take for various other health issues, I take 29 pills every day, plus my patch....there are many days where I'd love to just chuck them all and say screw it.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 09:06 AM   #5
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Re: Struggling with meds

Thanks - it does just become overwhelming. Who would have thought when I did a simple cat walk in 2004 that I would have messed my back up this bad and be on narcotics 24/7.

I guess we all struggle with it and it goes back to acceptance of chronic pain.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 11:50 AM   #6
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Re: Struggling with meds

I'm with you Pepper.

I feel like I could sell the drugs to the pharmacy some times. For someone who thought of myself as being healthy, there sure does seem to be alot of meds in my closet! I would love to be back in the day when taking drugs was three Tylenol if a headache didn't go away! Having a script for something usually meant that there was strep running around...wow. Those were the days. Now it takes a separate suitcase just for the meds it seems. Tsk. Tsk. She used to be sooo healthy.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 12:47 PM   #7
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Re: Struggling with meds

I, too, have a collection from the pharmacy that overwhelms me sometimes when I look at all of them sitting on the counter. I should have stock in Walgreen's!

I think the biggest struggle I am having with meds lately is twofold; one, the pain meds are just not cutting it for me lately, and two, just being able to afford them. Some of mine are not covered by insurance, and my monthly bill is a struggle.

I just look and think, okay, I'm taking all of these medications, why am I still in pain? How will I afford them without insurance and hubby's income?

ARGH!! It is a struggle in so many ways....

TexMom

 
Old 04-28-2008, 01:00 PM   #8
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Re: Struggling with meds

I use to be convinced that people who had to take meds just weren't taking care of themselves properly with diet and exercise. Imagine my surprise when I got diagnosed with a blood disorder and now have to pop 4 pills a day just to stay alive.

There are days when Iím lying in bed just about to go to sleep and I realize that Iíve forgotten to take my medication and let me tell you how Iíve whined, screamed, and practically had a mental breakdown all over 4 stupid little pills. Iím sick of the fact that at 28 years of age a pill box controls my life

 
Old 04-28-2008, 01:21 PM   #9
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Re: Struggling with meds

I think the thing that bothers me most about my meds is how I have to plan my activities around them. For example, I take my oxy and neurontin plus a chloresterol drug at 3 pm. So if I'm out and about in the middle of the day I have to make sure to be home or carry the dang things with me. If I carry them in my little pill container I have to be around something to drink or carry that too. On top of it all, I am 6'1" ,225 lbs. It sure isn't very "manly" to stop what I'm doing to take out my little pill container to take the things. Then if I'm around people the questions start and I'm sure you've all been there. I am just sick of pain and sick of pain pills!
Fred

 
Old 04-28-2008, 01:23 PM   #10
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Re: Struggling with meds

Pepper:

I've had a major struggle just this last week myself. I was planning to go to my PM doc tomorrow and ask to be taken off of the Avinza which would just leave me on the Percocet. I've been "hung up" on HAVING to rely on narcotics ever since my first surgery.

I've been "stepping down" for about six months now. First from Fentynal 50 mcg, to 25, then to 12 and then to Avinza. My BT's went from MSIR 15mg 3 times a day to twice a day to Percocet 10mg twice a day.

The WHOLE time I have had increased pain, but have been trying to deal with it using other modalities such as massage, TENS, and biofeedback.

Just recently I was informed that my insurance would not pay for my TENS unit, except on a RENT TO OWN basis...and I said no thanks. I had met my stop gap out of pocket deductible for 2007 because of my 128,000 PLIF lumbar surgery (L4-5 and L-5 - S-1) but the insurance got around not paying for the unit. And it was really helping.

I too could open a pharmacy, and should really go out and get another safe!! GRRRRRR. Then, because of what was going on at school last week, and the fact that we are approaching final exams, no sleep, students freaking out, etc., my pain is out the roof. So I don't know whether to go in and ask to be reduced or not. I'm scared to only have Percocet when the Avinza works so well.

I've been toying with the idea of a stim implant, but god, who wants another surgery. I already have so much scar tissue. That's what most of my pain is from!! I have scar tissue wrapped around the sciatic nerve. It's now choking it off is what they are saying!! I'm fused, 100%! Grrrr!!

Maybe I'll talk to the PM about that tomorrow! Anyway, I know where you are coming from. I don't know what to do anymore. Take them, don't take them.... hurt, don't hurt, walk, don't walk...it seems like a no brainer, but I was raised very differently, and I'm really struggling with the idea that I'm
"WEAK" if I have to take these meds. GRRRRR!!! I need that "acceptance" talk again, and loving me for who I am!!

Now I'm bawling again. Sorry, didn't mean to vent this much or carry on like this. Just wanted to say I know what you mean Pepper!!! Hang in there sweetie!! We WILL find relief one day!
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Old 04-28-2008, 01:28 PM   #11
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Re: Struggling with meds

Here Here, Fred! I can remember years ago, when I quit smoking, I was so relieved to not have to be a slave to those darned cigarettes. Always wondering if I had enough with me. Carrying them everywhere. Having heart failure if I was running low and couldn't get to the store.

Now, it's the pills........go figure.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 04:03 PM   #12
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Re: Struggling with meds

(((((Spinalmalady)))) ,

Can we sit together and have a good cry together? After reading your thread, I am blubbering away with you. I am a little emotional myself because I just slid dinner in the oven and almost passed out from pain. I guess my back did not like that because now I have pain running from the lumbar area to the toes and upper burning in my back. Why does this happen anytime I consider cutting my meds? I donít get it. Maybe this is the way the LORD is trying to smack me in the face to accept cp life.

Spinalmalady, I am so PROUD of you and your accomplishment to cut back on your medications. You are doing a fantastic job learning to use non narcotic pain reliever alternatives in place of a pill. Donít beat yourself up for not being able to reduce this month. It is not a bad thing Ė look at the entire picture and hold your head up high. You are doing an awesome job!! The time is just not right for you to make another cut but maybe next month, hey/

I, too, am thinking of the stim. I figure if it helps relieve some of my pain, it might just be worth it.

Fred, I understand hating to take your meds when you are out and about. My hubby wants me to have an alarm watch to use when we are out so I donít get absorbed in something and miss taking them. Could you imagine the watch going off out in public??? Pleazzzzzzzzz

Evabug, Welcome to the group!! I do not believe I have met you and look forward to chatting with you.

TexasMom, this makes me so sad that you need meds and are facing future financial problems purchasing them. There should be assistance for those needing meds with no questions asked. Everyone deserves pain control regardless. Please know that I am lifting you up in prayer and this situation.

IBAKE, donít hurt yourself carrying that suitcase. LOL!! How are you feeling on the new med?

CMP and Moldova, you are right that we need to take them if we need them and try to stay ahead of the pain so that it does not quickly spiral out of control. But I just worry sometimes whether or not my body is faking me out and saying I need them when I donít. I know I feel the pain but I wonder if my body is tricking me.

Again everyone thank you for responding and letting me know that we all feel this way from time to time.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 04:51 PM   #13
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Re: Struggling with meds

[QUOTE=123dietdrpepper;3549339 My hubby wants me to have an alarm watch to use when we are out so I donít get absorbed in something and miss taking them. Could you imagine the watch going off out in public??? [/QUOTE]

They do make pill trays that have a timer on it that you can set to go off hourly, every 4 hours, or whatever. I couldn't believe it until I saw one. I believ they also do make a watch that is a pill timer as well. You still have to remember to have the meds on you

brian

 
Old 04-28-2008, 04:57 PM   #14
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Re: Struggling with meds

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpinalMalady View Post
, but I was raised very differently, and I'm really struggling with the idea that I'm "WEAK" if I have to take these meds. GRRRRR!!! I need that "acceptance" talk again, and loving me for who I am!!
Um, NO YOU ARE NOT WEAK if you have to take pain medications. You think that you struggled with this issue, just imagine what I go through. I struggle with do I take them(possibly set off my addiction), have to manage my meds by myself, have to constantly ask myself what my pain level is, is my "disease" trying to trick me to get "high". Sorry I am going off but I am at my freaking breaking point. I'm not even looking forward to doing this another day. Maybe I just need a good nights sleep or maybe run away

brian

 
Old 04-28-2008, 05:45 PM   #15
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Re: Struggling with meds

Quote:
Originally Posted by brianpain33 View Post
Um, NO YOU ARE NOT WEAK if you have to take pain medications. You think that you struggled with this issue, just imagine what I go through. I struggle with do I take them(possibly set off my addiction), have to manage my meds by myself, have to constantly ask myself what my pain level is, is my "disease" trying to trick me to get "high". Sorry I am going off but I am at my freaking breaking point. I'm not even looking forward to doing this another day. Maybe I just need a good nights sleep or maybe run away

brian
I know brian, I do know you go thru a lot, and I can't even imagine. Nor would I want to, and good golly do I feel for you. I'm ashamed at times, because in comparison to say you, and cmp, and Pepper, and Chrissy, and IBake, and steve and Moldova, and mush, and KMac, and Marcia, and frankly the list could go on and on and on.... what I face daily is nothing in comparison to some of you. It shames me almost to even think I walk in the same shoes as you all do, KWIM??


I guess on the one hand, pain is pain....but on the other hand, when I see what others have been through, I know that MY pain is nothing by comparison. Yet, at times (and now happens to be one of them) I want to run away too.

Pepper, Yes, lets do just sit with a big ole' bowl of ice cream and throw one heck of a pity party and just bawl away. My pain is up big time too, mostly because of that Artistic Musical my class did last Friday. And though it turned out great, it was quite an ordeal to get it together. Lack of sleep and me don't do well, and my pain always escalates. Add to that, all of the bending and stooping and such of getting the stage set up with the props, (thank goodness it was all made of corrugated cardboard) but it was a HUGE set and took two days to build. Just the added stress alone, plus the students feeling the stress of stage fright put back onto me added to increase my pain levels. And right now, I'm only prescribed two Percocets per day, but have been for a while able to get by on one, so I have had a bunch left over and was able to increase by 1/2 pill, after talking to the PM doc on Friday afternoon after the show. I sort of crashed when all of the adrenelin (sp?) stopped flowing and it all came down on me like a ton of bricks. Then I got all weepy and distraught. I'm sure he'll want to talk about that tomorrow. My appt. is at 2:30, so wish me good thoughts, and peace of mind as I go in. Hugs backatcha Pepper!! ((((Pepper))))

Be well my friends....as well as you can be!!
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