you and I are hard core
When I told my knee DR that I do 4-5 times heavy durty gym a week (3-4 hours each time) he couldn't believe me.
I was so "prepared" for my daily gym - was funny to look at me.
Always pain meds 1/2 hour before I start, both knees braces, back support belt I started after my car accident in '03 which left me with more knee damages and with a lots of back problems. But I thought excersising will help my back not even knowing that I did more damage to it until in '06 I had to have multi-level spinal fusion. Too bad I did not have Tence Unit at that time - can you imagine with all I had on me plus the Tence? LOL
My surgeon told me to cxl my membership because I will not be able to go at least a year back - no way I would listen to him thinking "He has no idea how tought I am; I will be out and about in no time".
Well, little that I know.... talking about acceptance! I am so tough on myself all my life and pity stuff is not for me, and believe or not - I always won no matter what.
But not this time! And this is what kills me the most that I had to give up 2 the most important things in my life which I had for myself (I always leaved for everybody else; my loving family and friends were always first - not me. So gym and my unbelivable job were something I had just for me).
I leave with childhood RA -never knew what means to leave without pain because of this. DRs told my parents that eventually I may need a wheel chair due to situation with my joints. How do you think I "killed" my knees?
Sports! Yes, sports despite my DR's predictions; I was fighting my parents all the time, they were so worry about me not to hurt myself even more, but to me, active child, the future on a wheel chair was not an option.
I never regreted a minute of it; only people who do it all their life can understand how hard to give up on something you love so much, something you achieve on your own despite any medical no-no.
Now I have another knee surgeon at HSS and when I told him that up to my spinal surgery I did such and such and for so long in my gym - he said that I have to be in their medical books. I asked: "You mean sports medicine books or mental patients book?" He smile and said: both.
That is why I always say that humans are so much stronger than they think they are. Look at you, man!
How many people still play any sports in your situation?. I give you sooooo much credit for your strenght; this is what life is about, is in it?
So enjoy every minute of it until you can - I don't blame you! If I could - I would come and play too, but now I am not even good to pick up tennis bolls from the floor, can't band... LOL