Hi everyone...I wanted to thank you all for your love and support when I lost my friend Steve to a heart attack one week ago today. Sometimes I think its gotten easier and I dont cry so much then there are the triggers!! His favorite song, his name still on my MSN Messenger I just cant bear to remove it God I think sometime I am just praying for it to light up and this was all a bad dream. A certain date triggers a tear, A picture of him and I that I have taped to my computer monitor. Yesterday everything must have came to a head. I decided on a nap at 6 pm. Well it lasted till 9 pm woke up for 10 mins and back to sleep till 1:30am then back to sleep at 3am till 9am this morning. I was at my doc thursday as I came down with a cold which is now moving to my lungs doc gave me an antibiotic incase it turns to pneumonia. I am easing up on my pain meds as they depress respiration and thats all I need right?
Anyway I just wanted to catch up with you all and thank every one of you for your prayers and support during this the hardest time in my life. Love you all.
Autumn.
Autumn, Hi its me sassy, i had to re register my nmae with new email so i guess i have to start all over i havent been on much my son broke his shoulder and i have been having alot of touble with back, just cant sit here for long. I just wanted to say how very sorry i am about your freind,I know its hard, I once lost my bestfreind, Brother (my triplet ) suuuuucks, Well if you ever need an ear im here ok, God bless and take care , It will get better i promise, Sassy
Hi Sassy I didnt know you were a triplet and I am so sorry about your brother. Why did you have to re registar? Lose your password? Thank you for your reply I am doing the best I can just when I think I am coming along one of those triggers I mentioned in my post hits me but its only been a week far too soon for healing. Day by day is how Steve and I took our friendship so thats how I will handle my healing. I miss him so much but I know he is watching over me and that is my biggest comfort. God bless you and I hope your son heals quickly.
Autumn.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know it leaves a pain and sorrow that just stings to the very core of your being. It will get better though.....day by day....and eventually you will be grateful for those 'memory triggers'....eventually they will trigger a smile of your happy memories of your friend instead of the sadness of the loss. There will always be sadness...but it won't always be so oversahdowing and all encompassing. One day those memories will be a comfort to you.......
I lost my father August 9th, 1999. I just had a trigger moment 2 days ago that brought a tear to my eye. I will say that the first year is very difficult - the first weeks are almost impossible at times. I barely got out of bed the first week. I was in a musical and HAD to go.. the show must go on. I was looking forward to him seeing it... anyway... grief takes time, don't rush yourself, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve naturally in its/your own time. Time does heal. It may not feel that way now, but it does.
The way we keep our loved ones alive is by remembering - it is bittersweet even now at times, but mostly, I smile.
A favorite song of mine and my 3 sisters that we had played at the funeral and is on his stone - is In the Arms of an Angel by Sara Mclauglin - still brings a tear and smile to my eyes.
Emotional Pain Wish there was a drug for that!! 
i havent been on much my son broke his shoulder and i have been having alot of touble with back, just cant sit here for long. I just wanted to say how very sorry i am about your freind,I know its hard, I once lost my bestfreind, Brother (my triplet ) suuuuucks, Well if you ever need an ear im here ok, God bless and take care , It will get better i promise, Sassy
I didnt know you were a triplet and I am so sorry about your brother. Why did you have to re registar? Lose your password? Thank you for your reply I am doing the best I can just when I think I am coming along one of those triggers I mentioned in my post hits me but its only been a week far too soon for healing. Day by day is how Steve and I took our friendship so thats how I will handle my healing. I miss him so much but I know he is watching over me and that is my biggest comfort. God bless you and I hope your son heals quickly.
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