Hello...I am in desperate need of help. My husband suffers from Chronic Pain. He has had 2 lumbar fusions. He is seeing a pain specialist who treats only with medications. He takes oxycotin, loratab, Seroquel, clonazapan, and Celexa. On top of this, everyday he is drinking 1/2 a fifth of wiskey in the evenings. I am so afraid that he is going to kill himself mixing the drugs and alcohol. I have threatened to leave him, but he doesn't care. He says that he is in so much pain that he can't live without the alcohol. I don't know where to go or who to turn too. Has anyone gotten any pain relief from anything? Everytime I read these boards I hardly ever see anyone who is getting pain relief. I feel like our lives are over. My husband is 39, and slowly killing himself. Please Help!!!
Thanks,
Le
Your story almost brought me to tears...I wish I could help... My advice is just that, obviously, he's not getting adequate pain relief from the meds... Maybe you should have him talk to his doctor about getting something stronger to get him off the alcohol and give him some adequate pain relief... The alcohol is very dangerous to mix with these meds, and I wish I could give you some kind of insight as to how to tell him so and that he needs to stop, but I don't know how to go about doing that.. There could be an underlying cause as well causing the drinking.. Does alcoholism run in his family? I know the pain can get kind of out of hand sometime, but drinking 1/2 of a fifth of any alcohol and mixing this with strong opioid medications, is extremely dangerous and harmful to the body. He needs help and fast. Whether you get help from his pain doc giving him stronger meds to get him away from the alcohol or whatever, but I'm afraid even if he began getting adequate relief from the meds, he still might have an alcoholism problem... I know the alcohol numbs things a bit, but he's going to do more harm in the long run.
I wish I could give you more advice, but right now, all I can offer is a friend and some support... If you need anything or someone to talk to, let me know. I'm here for you...
Good luck sweetie, and I'll pray for your family, because I know how this can tear people apart no matter how much love is involved. I hope this has a good outcome for you, I honestly hope it does...
I am so sorry for your pain watching your husband. My father had terrible back pain, had surgery. It helped for a little while, but he turned back to the bottle for 'pain relief'. He Didn't take meds for pain, but... it was still very bad.
My suggestion to you is to contact a local Al-Anon and take care of yourself. Sometimes, that's the best we can do. That will at least give you some tools to survive this ordeal and show you options in how to deal w/ your husband's drinking/med taking. Good luck to you.
Karen
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9/22/00 24 hour labor, baby posterior, left tailbone killing me
12/00 MRI - PCP said nothing amiss - but, had to begin taking vicodin
2/8/02 - 2nd baby born after long, painful pregnancy, weight gain didn't help
2000-11/02 various PT + pain meds
11/02 Referred to Neuro
3/03 NEW MRI - shows slight bulge L3-L4,slight DDD, neural foramen involved, Superior aspect S1 and L5 Nerve root involvement -Neuro Refers to PM for ESI
3/03 PM Doc orders ESI
3/21,4/1,4/8 - ESI's no help
5/9 - Discogram - shows Tear L4 w/ significant leak onto nerves, DDD
Performing doc oversedated, False Negative (pm doc & I agree)
New Consult w/ Dept Head Cleveland Clinic 7/8 to discuss possible new discogram/IDET candidacy
7/8-Doc ordered Facet Joint nerve block for 7/29 to rule out/identify as pain generator. If not, new discogram.
Also, thinks tailbone prob is dif issue - wants x-ray - THOUGHT I had one - didn't!! They are ordering.
I have to agree with the other posters . alcohol and benzos and opiates and antisycotic meds is all a bad combo. You diffenitely need to take care of you. You have no control over his behavior and the choices that he has made. Does his doctor know that he is drinking. If not then you ought to inform him that he is doing so. The reason is that the doctor needs to protect him and your husband from the inevitable. I feel for and your husband. I have a horrible back I broke it in 1985 and have had 4 surgerys with alot of hardware. My pain its not control completely with meds. I believe that there is no amount of meds out there to take away 100 percent of my pain. But the meds have allowed me to have a more normal way of life. Please stay intouch and by all means please take care of yourself first.....
Hello Jaguar. You have gotten some excellent advice in the responses you have received and I agree with them all.
Please let me emphasize that your husband is heading down a dead-end street. Mixing alcohol and opiates is a death wish. I can't count the number of people I've treated in the ER who "accidentally" overdosed on alcohol and narcotics. Some made it, some did not. Some of those that did make, their life(and the lives of their families) has been changed forever and not in a good way. I know that you already realize this or you wouldn't have written your urgent post. But please, either tell the dr. what he is doing (which will probably mean no more pain meds.), or threaten him with telling the dr and the fact the dr will cut off his meds completely. Perhaps the dr. needs to adjust his meds if they aren't providing proper pain relief. But no pain medicine that I know of gets rid of ALL the pain.I hope your husband doesn't expect that. If he is drinking the alcohol thinking it will relieve his pain 100% he is mistaken. I know with chronic pain, comes depression. But trying to cope with it by way of alcohol is just gonna make it worse in the end. Please get your husband into some kind of counseling immediately. You can's afford to wait. A lot of pain management clinics offer counseling as part of their therapy. Talk with your dr. about the fact you think your husband needs some psychological help to deal with his chronic pain.
You need to also concentrate on YOU. You don't need to be brought into a depression along with your husband. Please try and do something for yourself. Like was mentioned above, AL-Anon will probably be your best bet.
I wish I had more answers for you. My heart is breaking thinking about what you are going thru and also the pain your husband is trying to deal with. Your husband needs help immediately and you need a release from the responsibility of your husbands actions. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers and if there is anything I can do to help, let me know. If you just want to vent, cry, rage or whatever, I will be happy to be your sounding board. We all need that once in a while. Your buddy, Lindao1
Hello Le, Aside from the fact that He,s gonna die from mixing that stuff,which you already know,I think it,s time for an intervention.Does he have any family around?Do you?Any friends?You need to get this guy stable and quick.All we here can do is convey our fears and sentiments but at this point,at any time we could be conveying our condolences!There ain,t no time for all those other things like Al-Anon and all that,YET!I ain,t sayin not at all,just right now I,m amazed he ain,t already gone.Please get friends,family,ANYONE that knows ya,ll and get em over there and get your husband in treatment or to the ER or whatever cause you may be savin this man,s life,and I,m serious as a heart attack!Keep us posted.Jack B.
I would like to thank everyone for their quick response, and I think I have some good news. Last night my husband choose to leave the alcohol alone. Like suggested, I threatened to tell the Dr. what he was doing, and after being made at me for a few days decided that I was right. He also told me yesterday that he had made an appointment with a counselor. He has an appointment next week. I also have made myself one. My husband has never been a drinker, but like someone suggested it very much runs in his family. I have my fingers crossed that we can make it through this. I also stop by the store on the way home and purchased a bottle of MSM and am looking forward to trying it.
My heart goes out to all of you who suffer from Chronic Pain. I have no idea what it is like, but through my husbands pain, I have got a glimps into your world.
If anyone has any suggestions of treatments that could be benifical please let us know. We have tried 2 lumbar fusions, and steriod injections. And with every surgery the pain gets worse. They are wanting to do a 3rd surgery and put in a cage from both the front and the back??? I would like him to try a nerve block, and some of the newer treatments. If anyone is getting relief from anything other than medication please let us know.
Thanks again for everyones help. It is nice to know there are people out there to talk to. God Bless
I'm so happy to hear that your husband has come to his senses. I am also happy to hear he has realized he needs help. You will both benefit from the counseling, and I hope it will give you both some much needed support. I am glad that things are looking brighter. I wish you luck in everything, and pray for your family and you. I know it's really hard to stand up for what you know is right, when you're afraid someone will be upset with you. I am glad he realized you were right though. We all will be happy to give any support we can so if you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to come here for friends, care, love, and support. We are all in your husbands boat, to an extent at least, but we are getting along without the alcohol. Pain can make you seriously depressed, which is why most of us are on some type of anti-depressant. Alcohol is also a depressant, so it's going to do nothing but make the depression worse. This also can make your husband's attitude towards his pain an unhealthy one. I will pray everyday for you, and a good outcome for your husband. I wish you all the luck in the world! Remember, we're here for you!!
Please Help 
Sometimes, that's the best we can do. That will at least give you some tools to survive this ordeal and show you options in how to deal w/ your husband's drinking/med taking. Good luck to you. 
